nojo

Everything But The Fish-Slapping Dance

Life got you down? Country swirling around the drain? Planet about to finally fulfill the promise of Seventies apocalyptic movies? We have a cure for what ails ya.

Indistinguishable from Magic

“Why shouldn’t I open this unknown email attachment?”Title: “Stonewalled: My Fight for Truth Against the Forces of Obstruction, Intimidation, and Harassment in Obama’s Washington”

Author: Sharyl Attkisson

Rank: 34

Blurb: “Who’s been hacking Sharyl Attkisson’s computers? Computers that turn themselves on in the night, make strange noises, then shut themselves down. Whoever is doing it is using highly sophisticated spyware available only to our top intelligence agencies. Is someone sending Attkisson a message?”

Review: “Haven’t started to read it yet, but will shortly.”

Customers Also Bought: “After America: Get Ready for Armageddon” by Mark Steyn

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America Fall Down Go Boom

One unexpected benefit of cutting the cable cord last spring is that we can’t wallow in gloomy election-night coverage. We can, however, wallow in YouTube disaster-movie montages, so here’s New York getting repeatedly blasted off the face of the Earth to accompany your apocalyptic musings.

Grandchild Abuse

Captain, I think that fat fuck is a spy.Title: “Rush Revere and the American Revolution: Time-Travel Adventures With Exceptional Americans”

Author: Rush Limbaugh

Rank: 2

Blurb: “Liberty, my wisecracking horse, our old friends Cam, Tommy, Freedom, and I are off to meet some super-brave soldiers in the year 1775.”

Review: “The picture of a surgeon’s saw was very sobering.”

Customers Also Bought: “Agenda 21: Into the Shadows” by Glenn Beck

Footnote: A continental army can never have too much lard.

Rush Revere and the American Revolution [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Bark Shadows

“There’s no hope for him now, Travis. He’s suffering. You know we’ve got to do it.”Title: “Good Dog: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Loyalty”

Authors: Editors of Garden and Gun

Rank: 21

Blurb: “From the troublemakers who can’t be fenced in to the lifelong companions who never leave our sides, this one-of-a-kind anthology showcases man’s best friend through all of his most endearing (and maddening) attributes.”

Review: “I really like this book. It was really good. It didn’t really make sense but it did make sense. If u know what I mean?”

Customers Also Bought: “Bounty Select-A-Size Paper Towels, Huge Rolls, White, 12 Count”

Footnote: We’re Kickstarting a heartwarming photo collection of raised surfaces we’ve kicked cats off of.

Good Dog [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

American Horror Story

We offer neither explanation nor apology. There’s a strong chance we’ve fallen prey to an Evil Image-Rehabilitation Meme, but we don’t care. Because we can’t help watching the damn thing. Over and over.

Except the last part. You can have that back.

[via Sully]

Bring Out Your Dread!

Don’t forget the Zombie repellant.Title: “Ebola Survival Handbook: A Collection of Tips, Strategies, and Supply Lists From Some of the World’s Best Preparedness Professionals”

Author: Lost Arts Publishing

Rank: 42

Blurb: “Ebola. Even the name of the virus conjures up mental images of a gruesome, agonizing, bloody death. Anyone who has scanned the news headlines lately has, at the very least, an inkling that a horrible disease is on the loose. It’s anyone’s best guess how soon this becomes a pandemic on American soil. While the Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organization have both expressed serious concerns that we are on the brink of disaster, border enforcement agencies seem blithely unconcerned. It’s really up to you to protect your family.”

Review: “Tells you what supplies you need, including how to care for your sick when the hospitals are full (and they will be) and dispose of your dead.”

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