nojo

Grownups of Our Time

Boo!Title: “Go Set a Watchman”

Author: Harper Lee

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Maycomb, Alabama. Twenty-six-year-old Jean Louise Finch — ‘Scout’ — returns home from New York City to visit her aging father, Atticus. Set against the backdrop of the civil rights tensions and political turmoil that were transforming the South, Jean Louise’s homecoming turns bittersweet when she learns disturbing truths about her close-knit family, the town, and the people dearest to her.”

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Love is a Many-Splintered Thing

Millennials will be the death of us.Title: “Modern Romance”

Authors: Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg

Rank: 18

Blurb: “In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.”

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The Unbearable Lightness of Blurbing

Ted Talks Out His Ass.Title: “A Time for Truth: Reigniting the Promise of America”

Author: Rafael Edward Cruz, billed as “Ted”

Rank: 36

Complete Blurb, Managing Not to Say Anything Specific, Especially About Canada:

Liberals love to hate Ted Cruz. The outspoken Texas Senator has a knack for getting under their skin. His quotable remarks — and even more, his principled stands on numerous national issues — have made him a political lightning rod and the most googled man in Washington.

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The Tragedy of Unencumbered Joy

Hop on Two Pops.Title: “I Am a Bunny”

Authors: Ole Risom and Richard Scarry

Rank: 94

Blurb: “In the spring, he picks flowers, and in the summer, watches the frogs in the pond. In the fall, he sees the animals getting ready for winter. And when winter comes, he watches the snow falling from the sky… then curls up in his hollow tree to dream about Spring.”

Review: “The reader sees an adorable little bunny dressed in red overalls, leaping into the air, trying to catch one of the two-dozen beautifully rendered butterflies.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers”

Footnote: It was the Strangers who taught Bunny that red overalls were kinda gay, and chasing butterflies was for sissies. Only years later, when the Wise Owls declared that the Strangers could go fuck themselves, did Bunny realize an important truth: Elaborate metaphors go off the rails really, really fast.

I Am a Bunny [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Just Like That Time You Left the Coffee on the Car

Don’t worry, everything’s cool — we strongly doubt they would have posted it without a happy ending.

[via Kottke]

Downfall for Kids!

And your little schnauzer, too.Title: “Hitler’s Last Days: The Death of the Nazi Regime and the World’s Most Notorious Dictator”

Author: Bill O’Reilly

Rank: 83

Blurb: “Facing defeat, Adolf Hitler flees to a secret bunker with his new wife, Eva Braun, and his beloved dog, Blondi.”

Wait. What. Blondi? “Adapted from Bill O’Reilly’s historical thriller Killing Patton, this book will have young readers — and grown-ups too — hooked on history.”

Review: “The title is a little misleading as this book covers General Patton more than it does Hitler.”

Bonus Batshit Review: “If as I suspect O’Reilly is telling us that Hitler and Eva Braun died in a bunker, then this is just propaganda. Bill O’Reilly is nothing more than a disinformation specialist. Many new books have come out in the last five years proving that Hitler and Braun made it to Argentina in a submarine. There are written documents and photographs. He lived his life out there in South America. The US GOVT knew all about it and could not do anything. The Nazis brought great wealth with them and Argentina welcomed them. This book should be discontinued. Go read the real histories you will find here at Amazon Books.”

Customers Also Bought: “The O’Reilly Factor for Kids”

Footnote: Learning that Hitler had a beloved dog certainly helps humanize the guy.

Hitler’s Last Days [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

GoT Milked

Winter Sale is Coming.Title: “The World of Ice & Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones”

Authors: George R. R. Martin, Elio Garcia, Linda Antonsson

Rank: 89

Blurb: “In a collaboration that’s been years in the making, Martin has teamed with Elio M. García, Jr., and Linda Antonsson, the founders of the renowned fan site Westeros.org — perhaps the only people who know this world almost as well as its visionary creator.”

Review: “This is not Book 6 in the series, nor should it be seen as a substitute for it. It’s also not the Silmarillion. That is, it’s not a detailed and exhaustive narrative on what has come before Books 1-5. It’s a coffee table book with gorgeous artwork and some tidbits of information on the world of Westeros, most of which will be posted in various wiki entries for free within 60 days.”

Customers Also Bought: “Monopoly: Game of Thrones Collector’s Edition Board Game”, “Game of Thrones: House Sigil Coaster Set”, “Game of Thrones: Stark Direwolf”, “Funko POP Game of Thrones: White Walker Vinyl Figure”, “Game of Thrones Hand of King Pin”, “Allntrends Women’s V Shirt Mother Of Dragons”, and “A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook”

Footnote: We hear that Roast Shireen is delicious.

The World of Ice & Fire [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]