Twisted Psychopath and former Office of Fuck Me Jesus hack used the Internet to sell teenagers into slavery - inspired no doubt by the GOP's inspirational Faith Based Initiatives program.

A deviant, beady-eyed Ohio-state hack and former chief of the state Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives pleaded guilty yesterday of pimping a 17-year old girl on the Internet, ending his sex life of buying desperate little kids off the streets of cities shattered by GOP kleptocratic governance and bragging about it on the Internet.

Robert McFadden, 46, pleaded guilty to two counts of compelling prostitution, for which fuckface could do up to 10 years, after prosecutors dropped five other prostitution-related charges.

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Bush Administration domestic surveillance programs much broader than previously known.

Nobody could have predicted ….

Josh finds a very interesting detail regarding the Ensign-Fucks-a-Staffer scandal – this happened when Coburn and the other snakehandlers made him write to Cindy and break off the relationship:

So Ensign agrees to do this. But the members of his fellowship had so little trust he could follow through that they had him write out a letter to the mistress that he was ending the relationship and then drove him to the local Fedex office to make sure he actually dropped the letter in the box. So he does that. But then after he shakes them loose he calls the mistress to tell her his friends made him write the letter and to ignore it.

Guess they didn’t trust him to keep his promise.

In case you didn’t guess, I am really really really enjoying this.

Ensign’s Weirdest Moment [TPM]

Sure, she misquoted Plato, but nobody cares about that outside philosophy departments. But now Talibunny’s tweeting Uncle Walter:

“Most newspapermen by definition have to be liberal; if they’re not, by my definition, they can hardly be good newspapermen” W. Cronkite

That one’s a staple among wingnut “media watchdogs” — and to nobody’s surprise, it’s twisted out of context.

The occasion was the June 1973 issue of Playboy, back when people really did read it for the articles. Then as now, elected officials were bitching about the “liberal” slant of the news. (And also then as now, elected officials were subverting the Constitution, but that’s another story.) So let’s join the interview, already in progress…

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Twitter has become a giant old-school Defamer commenting thread Thursday night, with “1stdraftmovielines” wasting everyone’s time — including ours. But if you are Mitout Tweetz, you’re more than invited to waste your time here. Some samples to get you started…

• Frankly, my dear, you suck. (poploser)
• Soylent Green is squirrel! (born2bdave)
• You made a time machine… out of a Ford Pinto? (rhogart)

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The Chicago Tribune today reported that… well…

On Sunday, while most of America was recovering from Fourth of July fireworks and cookouts, the Hoffman Estates-based retailer launched an online boutique called Christmas Lane at Sears.com and Kmart.com. It also set up Christmas decor shops at 372 Sears stores, including one at Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg.

Sears typically waits until Nov. 1 to unveil its holiday merchandise, said Sears spokeswoman Natalie Norris-Howser. But with the recession putting a crimp in spending, the retailer is hoping to attract holiday shoppers early.

Yes.  You read that right.  Christmas sales on July 5.

[ADD: In other silly news from the Prairie State: Roland Burris has had enough.  One and done for the man.  Now then: I have to go.  I need tinsel, dammit!]