Stealing the premise of Space: 1999 (and Michael Bay’s wet dreams), NASA will be blowing up the Moon about a half-hour from the time of this post. There’s no Rapture Insurance for this, alas, but the good news is that we probably won’t need our Porn Buddy to cover for us.

Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite [NASA]

Thank God the GOP Has the Guts to Stand Up For the Torture, Rape and Murder of Women, the Things That Make America Great!

When Minnesota Sen Al Franken (D-MN) proposed the defunding of contractors whose employees entertain themselves with gang rape and hide behind contract rules that could expose them, the GOP went apeshit crazy with outrage.

The neomedievalists of the GOP who are dedicating every ounce of their strength to the dismantling of western civilization and to destroying the gifts of enlightenment saw something very important to hate in the bill.

The recognition of women as human beings, perhaps?

Limits on the extent to which the military-industrial-organized-crime complex can be encouraged to indulge in cackling barbarity, possibly?

Read more »

Seeking to top the absurdity of hiring Perez Hilton to judge a beauty pageant, Miss America goes for the gold:

The Miss America Organization (MAO) announced today that Rush Limbaugh has been named as one of the national judges for the 2010 Miss America Pageant…

“We are thrilled to have Rush join us for our pageant this year,” said MAO President and CEO, Art McMaster. “He will bring a thrilling new dimension to the competition and we know that the 2010 Miss America Pageant will be filled with new twists and exciting opportunities with him as one of our national judges.”

We can only pray that one of the exciting opportunities doesn’t involve a cigar.

HOT OFF THE PRESS!! RUSH LIMBAUGH !! [GretaWire/Fox News]

A new Oklahoma law will require gathering statistics on every abortion performed in the state — and posting the details online:

1. Date of abortion
2. County in which abortion performed
3. Age of mother
4. Marital status of mother (married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married)
5. Race of mother
6. Years of education of mother
(specify highest year completed)
7. State or foreign country of residence of mother
8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
Live Births
Miscarriages
Induced Abortions

While the law doesn’t ask for name or address, you could pretty much open a bank account with the information given — especially in a small-town state, where any three of the questions would peg your neighbor.

Implementing the law (which is being challenged by the Center for Reproductive Rights) would cost Oklahoma taxpayers more than $250,000 a year. Apparently legislators overlooked a more efficient method, consisting of distributing cases of scarlet spray paint to county sheriffs.

New Oklahoma law will publicy post details of women’s abortions online [Think Progress]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_Yao6pSLxU

Little Bro Jeb kindly requests that we stop picking on his older sibling:

I was on the plane coming up to Washington yesterday, and I heard someone complaining that their child’s acne was because of George Bush. Of course, last week the Olympics didn’t come to Chicago — that was my brother’s fault. And at some point, people are going to have to put on their big-boy pants and assume responsibility for the great challenges and opportunities our country has.

That has to be embarrassing when your runt egghead brother rushes to your defense. Especially the one whom Father always loved more.

Jeb Bush: The Country Needs To Put On Its ‘Big-Boy Pants’ And Leave My Brother Alone [Think Progress]

[ABC]

Congressman Paul Broun (R-Pigfuckers) at a town hall last week:

“When I was sworn into the Marine Corps, I was sworn to uphold the Constitution against every enemy, foreign and domestic,” he said. “We’ve got a lot of domestic enemies of the Constitution and one of those sits in the speaker’s chair of the United States Congress, Nancy Pelosi.”

We think we’ve got it figured out: If everyone on the Right calls for an assassination, nobody can be blamed for it.

Broun: Pelosi A ‘Domestic Enemy Of The Constitution’ [TPM]

‘We Will Overthrow The Government’ — Calls For Violence Repeatedly Stoked By Conservative Voices [Think Progress]

GOP candidate puts opponents’ names on Halloween tombstones [Raw Story]