On a day when the GOP should be crowing over a meaningless congressional party switch, Michael Steele has managed to distract attention:

Michael S. Steele, Republican National Committee chairman, is using his title to market himself for paid appearances nationwide, personally profiting from speeches with fees of up to $20,000 at colleges, trade associations and other groups — an unusual practice criticized by a string of past party chairmen.

We know, we know — who can expect a dude to survive on a $223,500 salary?

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Politico reports that a Demrat Congresscritter you’ve never heard of — Parker Griffith of Alabama — is turning Repug today:

The switch represents a coup for the House Republican leadership, which had been courting Griffith since he publicly criticized the Democratic leadership in the wake of raucous town halls during the summer.

Yes, Politico, a “coup” that doesn’t change the balance of power in the House, that doesn’t affect the results from upstate New York, and isn’t nearly as momentous as Arlen Specter’s flip last spring — a flip that gave Senate Demrats sixty votes once Senator Al was sworn in.

But hey, slow day. We understand.

Exclusive: Rep. Parker Griffith switches to GOP [Politico]

My husband recently read an article on the Web that the Bible forbids Christians from having a Christmas tree in their house (Jeremiah 10:3.) was the Bible verse that the article listed. Our children are going to be crushed if we don’t have a tree this Christmas. What can I do?

Signed,
Peggy

Dear Peggy,

You, your husband, and your whiny children are well and truly fucked. Your husband has discovered the dirty secret of Christmas: Everything involved in our celebration of the holiday stems from pagan rituals, developed by Satan millennia ago as a ticking timebomb that not even Jack Bauer can defuse before your life takes a commercial break.

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May the blessings of the season be upon you, and may you rot in hell for eternity.

Caught on tape Saturday in DC, spirited street performers reenact the juggernaut of healthcare reform moving slowly through the Senate while Republicans do what little they can to annoy their Democratic colleagues:

The off-duty detective, whose name has not been released, was driving past a snowball fight in the city when his Hummer was hit by snowballs. He allegedly stopped the car, got out, and took out his gun. He also pulled out a walkie-talkie and called for backup.

We really can’t improve on TPM’s succinct description, with a morsel of deliciousness in every clause. All we can do is savor Hummer… gun… backup… as slowly as possible, making sure not to miss each nuance of cascading wrongness.

D.C. Cop On Desk Duty After Pulling Gun At Snowball Fight [TPM]

HP introduces an amazing camera sensor that follows your face wherever it goes. As long as your face doesn’t absorb light.

[via Fake Steve Jobs]

Despite a busy year, the categories for the 2009 Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy are fewer than expected. The Nominations Death Panel considered many worthy submissions, but kept in mind our arbitrary rule: You don’t get an award for showing up. Only races where multiple nominees are expected were included in this year’s list.

To vote for an award, or threaten to undermine the process unless your pissant category is included, simply write a comment. Because these are qualitative awards, ballot-stuffing has no effect. On the other hand, judges can be bought, especially via our Amazon Kickback Link and Stinqueria purchases. It’s the American Way.

Winners will be announced next Monday, December 28. Which means we’ll be doing a lot of head-cropping next Sunday.

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