Vote Now for the 2009 Stinque Awards!

If the shoe fits, throw it.Despite a busy year, the categories for the 2009 Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy are fewer than expected. The Nominations Death Panel considered many worthy submissions, but kept in mind our arbitrary rule: You don’t get an award for showing up. Only races where multiple nominees are expected were included in this year’s list.

To vote for an award, or threaten to undermine the process unless your pissant category is included, simply write a comment. Because these are qualitative awards, ballot-stuffing has no effect. On the other hand, judges can be bought, especially via our Amazon Kickback Link and Stinqueria purchases. It’s the American Way.

Winners will be announced next Monday, December 28. Which means we’ll be doing a lot of head-cropping next Sunday.

  • Technical Awards for Nice People
  • Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician
  • Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization
  • Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit
  • Diamond Dentata for Most Obnoxious Republican Woman
  • Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut
  • Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal
  • Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year
  • Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement

Some guidance for your consideration:

1. Some troublemakers, even here, insist on honoring people for good deeds. While we consider this a grave offense against the spirit of the Stinque Awards, our Technical category is where to bury them.

2. The Paisley Pro-Am includes political and non-political sex scandals. Tiger needs some competition.

3. The Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement need not be bestowed in a given year. We know who you want to give it to, but you’ll have to make a good case for it. Remember, last year’s winner was Dick Cheney. We have standards to uphold.

Announcing the 2009 Stinque Awards!

The 2008 Stinque Awards


Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization
-Exxon for funding most if not all Climate Change Deniers
-The US America Health Care Industry

Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal
Green Balloons! (Horror factor)
Tiger’s Wood (Quickest take down of a Famibly Man-whore”)

* Technical Awards for Nice People
Michael C Hall and John Lithgow for Dexter (but you knew that)

* Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician
John McCain for his performance during Heath Care Reform

* Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization
Salvation Army for limiting their Xmas gift giveaways to those who have US passports

* Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit
Ezra Klein for his post headline today The heroes of health-care reform

* Diamond Dentata for Most Obnoxious Republican Woman
is there any competition for this, really? (SP?)

* Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut
Chuck Norris for saying Mary would have aborted Jesus if she had government assistance

* Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal
again, any real competition?

* Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year
Joe LIEberman for the obvious reasons.

* Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement
Joe LIEberman, again, for obvious reasons.


It’s the best-ever debut for director James Cameron, best-ever opening for a 3D movie with IMAX shattering their records and selling out every seat and adding shows to keep up with demand. It’s also the 2nd best December debut of all time because of Avatar’s 3D ticket price premium compared to 2D films.


SFL’s nominees are:

Technical Awards for Nice People
Gov. John Baldacci (D-ME) for standing up to the Catholic Church and signing a gay marriage law
Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) despite his craziness at times, for standing up to the Catholic Church on health care reform and the Vatican wanting to control Congress
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) [I never get tired of saying that] for sponsoring the Amendment that exposed 30-odd pro-gang rape Republicans and for having the best questions at the Sotomayor confirmation hearing
Nicholas Kristof for using his platform at the New York Times to relentlessly point out human rights abuses around the world
Nojo for keeping this little show here on the road

Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician

Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization
I’m with Manchu:
-US America Health Care Industry
and I’d add
-Halliburton/KBR/XE/Military Contractor Rapist Industry

Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit
-All of Them on FOX
-All of Them on the other Networks

Diamond Dentata for Most Obnoxious Republican Woman
So many to choose from…
-Sarah, naturally
-Bachman, naturally
-Virginia Foxx (R-NC)

Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut

Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal
-Hiking the Appalachian Trail

Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year
Do we really need any other nominees besides JoeLie? Okay, I guess so..
-Joe Wilson
-Ben Nelson
-Bart Stupak
-Cheney for doing his Mr. Potter impression at the inauguration so he wouldn’t have to stand up and shake Barry’s hand

Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement
I think this might be the year that JoeLie surges ahead of Cheney. Or maybe we need an intermediate category for “Biggest Fucktard of the Decade” – JoeLie would win that one, and Darth Cheney can hold on to the Crystal Douchebag for another year.

@Capt Howdy: Salvation Army, good one

/pssst, Nojo, the new WP comment editor isn’t working on Firefox for me. I get a blank white screen.

I just wanted to say that. I will be in and out until wed then out till after the first.
I will check in from home but not much probably.

@SanFranLefty: Which Firefox version? Worked for me the other night in Mac 3.5.

I did have a similar initial problem with Safari — which didn’t show up in my development version of the site. (There is… another.) That was solved by force-refreshing a given comment page. My hunch is that an old version of the comment-editor script was cached.

@nojo: Version 3.5.2 on a PC. It worked for me yesterday on Firefox on my Mac. So maybe it’s a wanky PC thing.

might want to reconsider Cheney:

Cheney’s quiet, inner-directed motivation is simply impervious to the attacks orchestrated against him by the Chicago machine-style politicians at the White House, a fact also plainly visible to his fellow citizens. And it is yet another important reason to have confidence that Cheney’s solid policy analysis will yet prevail in the national political arena. Of course he is the conservative of the year!

@SanFranLefty: I’ll have to check that later. I have Windows on my Mac (the shame!), but I can’t fire it up right now.

@SanFranLefty: Ensign, caught banging a staffer, would have had a chance against Sanford if we’d known a few details. It’s like trying to decide Best Picture from the trailers.

@blogenfreude: The C Street angles could be veddy, veddy interesting if they ever come out. But the Ensign affair was more pathetic and embarrassing than Sanford’s “My Soulmate is in Argentina, I’ll try to love my wife” speech, in that a 50-something United States Senator had to rely on mommy and daddy to bail his ass out of a compromising situation.

@blogenfreude: Sen. Larry Craig set the bar pretty high, so to speak.

2009 has been a very full year. Let’s see:

Technical Awards for Nice People to the crowd in Washington DC at the Obama inauguration. Watching millions of freezing people keep smiling through all the crap they endured was a memory to cherish forever.

Eminence Grease to the financial industry for taking the bailout money, not loaning it to anybody, using it to buy up cash-starved companies and paying the usual insane bonuses to the individuals who did so much to wreck the economic system.

Mylar Gasbags for every TV, newspaper and internet pundit because they’re all so self-important and so consistently wrong.

Diamond Dentata is a tough call between Palin and Bachman. Palin is like the constantly throbbing toothache while Bachman is like the occasional punch in the nose. I can’t make a call between them, the obnoxious meter is way off the scale for both.

Teflon Teabag is a runaway for Orly who took wingnuttery to undreamed of heights this year.

@SanFranLefty: Speaking of Patrick Kennedy, is he ghey? I started to wonder when I saw him speaking at his dad’s funeral Mass. I’ve been reading Teddy’s memoir and have started wondering who among that family is batting for Team Fabulous. There’s so gawdamn many of them that someone has to ping, right?

@Jamie Sommers: Speaking of the gheyz, Lindsay Graham is on News Hour right now. I am impressed that Sherrod Brown isn’t punching him in the face.

W/r/t Patrick – I’ve never heard a peep about him being a Friend of Dorothy. I will check with my DC gheyz. But you’re right, statistically speaking, some of them have to have teh ghey but it may be the lesser known cousins.

So many nominees, so little time.

Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician

Spare a thought for Gordon Brown. The destruction of Labour Party is almost complete. That took some doing. But also: Nick Griffin MEP, proving that Great Britain has xenophobic redneck politicians too. And don’t forget that Kim Jong-il shot off some rockets.

But nobody beats Ahmedinnerjacket. Rigged an election and withstood a popular uprising with a violent backlash. That’s world-class douchebaggery. Karzai rigged an election too, but he only wishes he had Mahmoud No-Tie’s game.

(And speaking of world-class: Capt Howdy, we are looking for international un-Americans. Appreciate the sentiment. But…. sorry, pal.)

Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization

NOM NOM NOM. Their sole purpose in life is to make people unhappy by keeping them out of marriage. Yes, this flips the script, as people get unhappy when they are kept in marriage. (Thank you — try the veal!) And so they, in cahoots with the Diocese of Portland Stand for Marriage Maine, threw New England for a loop with the same shady underhanded crap they always pull.

Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit

Did you know that Ari Fleischer is a flack for the Bowl Championship Series? It’s true! I don’t know if that qualifies, but that is probably one of the most fascinating facts of the year.

But anyway: Liz Fucking Cheney.

(Seriously, between Lynne’s repressed womanly desires, the family’s complicity in repressing Mary’s, and the emergence of Liz, the verdict can be rendered. That is one fucked up crew.)

Diamond Dentata for Most Obnoxious Republican Woman

I think it’s a wire-to-wire win for Bachmann — with Palin a somewhat-close second and Snowe up for show. But don’t forget Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.), who will be a rising star in 2010 when Bachmann gets a two-month suspension for performance-enhancing drugs. (Prediction: the PED in question will be Baby Jesus.)

Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut

It’s a toss-up. But I do think it should go for all-around achievement, and not a specific act of stupidity.

See, Orly Taitz is a specialist. She’s got one angle. Glenn Beck casts his net wider and (as he can demonstrate on his chalkboard) he catches more fish. Beck on points.

Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal

Not Tiger. He doesn’t even come close. Seriously — a sports star sleeping around. Two words… Wilt. Chamberlain.

Now, The Appalachian Trail? Come the fuck on. That’s an all-time classic. It’s right up there with Client No. 9 and diapers, along with Bob Livingston losing the speakership on nookie grounds in the midst of the Lewinsky impeachment, and Newtie and Miiiiiill spiking their cancer-ridden wives, respectively. And, a bonus — no stand-by-your-man with this one… at long last.

There’s nothing like a scold getting served. Sanford — hands down.

Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year

One concession was to be expected. But he held the Dems’ balls in his hands and kept squeezing. Joe is totally deserving.

But it goes to Harry Reid. Dude is as malleable as a stick of butter left out in the kitchen for a few hours. When strength was required, and strength was for the asking, Reid bent over backwards to give the GOP every opportunity to fuck around. And fuck around they did.

Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement

Rush. No doubt about it. His “I hope he fails” blast demonstrates the world-class suck he has imposed on the world for two decades and set the tone for the year. The master at work.

Nice People – Alla you guys, Nojo, hamsters, Howard Dean. Outside of family and my IRL friends (one of whom gave me a nice set of martini glasses for Christmas), you guys make my day.

Most Un-US American Pol – Cheney

Gasbag – No vote because I avoid all that shit.

Most Eeeeville Org – The Congress of the United States comes to mind for selling us down the river at every fucking opportunity, with about two exceptions, Denny the K , the commie from VT, maybe one or two more.

Most Obnoxious – Palin

Wingnut(s) – Many of the commenters on the gun blogs I read are truly nasty, ideological right wing purists, borderline to outright racists who parrot Fox talking points. I first heard about the Tea Parties there, though, so I guess I’ll keep trolling for intel (and discussions as to why snubnose revolvers hit below the point of aim at 25 ft)

Sex Scandal – Sanford, for a truly riveting performance.

AHOTY – Leiberman, who fooled me in 2000 when he appeared at the DNC Native American caucus into thinking he was an OK guy. I could go for Reid also. Jesus fucking hell – where does our side dig up these assholes like him and Nelson?

Lifetime – Rush. I lost a friend because of him.

@Jamie Sommers: Don’t know, but he struck me as a loser when I saw him speak at a state Demrat fundraiser. “I didn’t know what to do with my life, but I have this family name, so I thought I would try to do some good with it.” Yeah, that stirred up the fucking crowd. We lost NM for Kerry by about 500 votes.

BREAKING NEWS: Mistress Cynica is now Ms. Cynica (I don’t think she’ll go to Mrs., y’all).

Fotos en el libro de la cara

@redmanlaw: Ahh, you raise so many good nominees and points.

/TJ Snuck away from the desk to see afternoon matinee of Avatar Monday afternoon and I have to say it is one of the more embarrassingly bad piece of movie schlock I’ve ever seen, more or less a jumble of Hollywood/Cameron cliches with an annoying 3D display scheme that adds nothing to do the story at all. (I saw the reference and thought, wow, Cameron will be using that to examine the extra-human visual perceptions of aliens, etc. in a exploration of speculative exobiology. Nope. Golf ball rolling at you. Arrows whizzing by you. Guns swinging by your face.) Looks like he learned from Lucas that the movie is just a long commercial for the lunch box and the video game.

@SanFranLefty: Hate to bring the pedant here but, as MC would be the first to point out, ‘Mistress’ is the long form of ‘Mrs’. Although I suppose it could be used as an honorific as in the Franch ‘Madame’, as they will call an unmarried woman of a certain age. Anyhoo, I’m happy to call her whatever she wants.

Excellent thinking here by all. I would insert my own NOMinees but I’m too lazy. Plus the dachshund is barking out the window at squirrels.

@FlyingChainSaw: Did you see Titanic? An entirely risible 3 hours of crap that featured so many unfortunate moments one lost count. Unfortunately it was so damn loud it was impossible to catch some zzzs, which was the only reasonable defense. It was clear that not only had none of the ‘creators’ ever been on a ship, they’d never been closer to the Atlantic than the pier at Santa Monica. So I’m not surprised to hear this about the latest. Not that it was high on my movie-going list to begin with. The stills are enough for me. I’m sick and tired of Hollywood libruls glorifying war and soldiers. They made the endless war acceptable again after the debacle of Vietnam made it seem, for one brief shining moment, that we might collectively grow the fuck up.

Technical Awards for Nice People
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Condi Rice and George W. Bush for more or less keeping their pieholes shut.

Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician
Fidel Castro. Gotta love the strategically timed photos they release of him in the hospital, wearing a track suit, clutching that day’s copy of Granma.

Eminence Grease for Most Evil Organization
NOM. Fuck those assholes. PhRMA is a very close second.

Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit
I want to say Lou Dobbs, but, as we all know, quitters never prosper. Gotta give it to Glenn Beck for, well, everything.

Diamond Dentata for Most Obnoxious Republican Woman
Was there ever any doubt? Sarah Palin, hands down.

Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut
Orly Taitz. Her dogged perseverance in the face of adversreality is truly awe-inspiring.

Paisley Pro-Am for Best Sex Scandal
John Ensign. Bit of a slow burn, but the crybaby confession letter seals it.

Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year
Dick Cheney. “Dithering” was the least of it.

Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement
Joe Lieberman. He’s been on deck for years, and this year he finally got his chance to knock it out of the park.

@mellbell: Glad to see you survived the snowstorm, snowball fights and rabid cops.

Also, I’m adding Chris Matthews to pundits I can’t stand. Dude runs a dog fight, not a news program.

@mellbell: Were you at the snowball fight at 14th & U? When I lived in DC, you’d dodge bullets at that intersection, not snowballs…

@redmanlaw: I do my very best to turn on the tube at precisely 4:59 PT, so as to miss all but Tweety’s handoff to Keef.


BTW, Condi and Shrub?

You’re being much to magnanimous.

@SanFranLefty: I had no idea it was even happening (guess I don’t read the right blogs), but I’m honestly not surprised at how it turned out. DC cops are notoriously trigger-happy, whether it’s killing a kid over a stolen minibike or shooting a homeless guy’s dog.

I need to take time for these, but I’ll take SFL’s Diamond Dentata and suggest Bettie McCaughey or whatever, for starting the ObamaCare will kill grandma meme. True, that Carolinian put lighter fluid down and SarPal lit the match, but it was Bettie who loaded the firewood.

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