The 2008 Stinque Awards
We couldn’t afford Joan Rivers for the Red Carpet — hell, we couldn’t even afford Melissa Rivers — but budgetary glitches aside, the inaugural Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy were a smashing success. Here we present the nominees and winners (in bold), with links to each presentation during our marathon ten-hour event.
| Award | Nominees | |
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Opening Ceremonies | Technical Awards for Nice People |
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Golden Helmet for Best Hair | Joe Biden Rod Blagojevich John Edwards Joe the Plumber Bill Richardson |
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Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician | Fidel Castro Stephen Harper Hu Jintao Robert Mugabe Nicolas Sarkozy |
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Silver Sausage for Legislative Accomplishment | Tom Coburn Bob Corker Mitch McConnell Hank Paulson |
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Silver Tongue for Excellence in Pandering | Hillary Clinton John Edwards John McCain Barack Obama Sarah Palin |
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Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit | Jim Cramer Lanny Davis Bill Kristol Kathryn Jean Lopez Dick Morris |
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Palladium Pinocchio for Best Human Prop in a Supporting Role | Levi Johnston Bristol Palin Sarah Palin Trig Palin Joe The Plumber |
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Diamond Freezer for Best Scandal Not Involving Reproductive Organs | Rod Blagojevich Bernie Madoff Sarah Palin |
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Platinum Pampers for Best Sex Scandal | John Edwards Vito Fossella Tim Mahoney David Paterson Eliot Spitzer |
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Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year | Michele Bachmann Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton Joe Lieberman Sarah Palin |
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Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement | George W. Bush Dick Cheney Karl Rove |
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @SanFranLefty: Wiped out
SANFRANLEFTY • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Bitch, March Madness is ON! xoxo
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I mooch Disney+ from my sister and HBO Max from my ex. Still need a Hulu hookup though!
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: As a veteran of last year's tournament, you were re-invited with one click, so…
MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I'm just late, as ever. The play-in games started Tuesday, but we've got until tomorrow.…
NOJO • Software Update of the Year @bruce.desertrat: I have failed to get any work done since that dropped.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • Software Update of the Year Disturbing my cow-orkers laughing at this....
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I tried RRR a few times at Benedick’s insistence, just couldn’t last. And now…
¡ANDREW! • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I watched the clips on YouTube. Lady Gaga’s performance was extraordinarily honest and…
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Oh gee, that starts tomorrow? Haven’t heard from Mellbell, so guess not.