The 2008 Stinque Awards
We couldn’t afford Joan Rivers for the Red Carpet — hell, we couldn’t even afford Melissa Rivers — but budgetary glitches aside, the inaugural Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy were a smashing success. Here we present the nominees and winners (in bold), with links to each presentation during our marathon ten-hour event.
| Award | Nominees | |
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Opening Ceremonies | Technical Awards for Nice People |
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Golden Helmet for Best Hair | Joe Biden Rod Blagojevich John Edwards Joe the Plumber Bill Richardson |
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Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician | Fidel Castro Stephen Harper Hu Jintao Robert Mugabe Nicolas Sarkozy |
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Silver Sausage for Legislative Accomplishment | Tom Coburn Bob Corker Mitch McConnell Hank Paulson |
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Silver Tongue for Excellence in Pandering | Hillary Clinton John Edwards John McCain Barack Obama Sarah Palin |
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Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit | Jim Cramer Lanny Davis Bill Kristol Kathryn Jean Lopez Dick Morris |
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Palladium Pinocchio for Best Human Prop in a Supporting Role | Levi Johnston Bristol Palin Sarah Palin Trig Palin Joe The Plumber |
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Diamond Freezer for Best Scandal Not Involving Reproductive Organs | Rod Blagojevich Bernie Madoff Sarah Palin |
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Platinum Pampers for Best Sex Scandal | John Edwards Vito Fossella Tim Mahoney David Paterson Eliot Spitzer |
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Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year | Michele Bachmann Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton Joe Lieberman Sarah Palin |
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Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement | George W. Bush Dick Cheney Karl Rove |
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0