Silver Sausage for Legislative Accomplishment

You expect nothing to get done in an election year, but Mitch McConnell and Tom Coburn made an art of it, blocking legislation so adroitly that a bill to circumvent the latter was called the Tomnibus. Bob Corker, meanwhile, made high principle out of venality, throwing a wrench into the auto bailout that had nothing to do with the foreign non-union manufacturers in his state. But it took somebody from the Executive Branch to show the amateurs how it’s done, as Hank Paulson rolled a seven and eight zeros, no strings attached.

And the winner is…

Hank Paulson. $700 billion in a matter of days. It took Bush a whole year to get a blank check for the Iraq War.

Next hour: Silver Tongue for Excellence in Pandering

The 2008 Stinque Awards

Spent the entire Canada City National (Public and Private) Debt in 3 months. That’s a lot of Tim Hortons Coffee.

Miss McConnell is a shitstain on the underwear of the nation, true, but Paulson is the best choice for this … eliminated his competition (Lehman) and passed out a shitload of our money to his friends. A stunning performance.

Much as I like to see Mr. Secretary Chao’s legislative triumphs in the Senate acknowledged, this was definitely the year to honor Secretary Paulson. The guy has made Jesse James and Bonnie and Clyde and John Dillinger look like complete wannabes when it comes to robbery in broad daylight. They couldn’t even imagine this amount of money. Paulson has even eclipsed the wonderful Mr. Madoff’s accomplishments of 30 years by about, oh, say 14 times. That’s what we actually know about – there’s probably much more that hasn’t been reported.

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