Golden Helmet for Best Hair
This year’s judging barely got started when controversy erupted over qualifications for the Golden Helmet. Traditionalists argued that “best hair” clearly indicates newscaster-quality coifs, while revisionists countered that anything above the neck must be considered.
“Change” won the day, with nominations going to Bill Richardson for his Beard of Indecision, Joe the Plumber for his Scalp of Sanctity, and Joe Biden for his Plugz of Destiny. More conventional nominees included John Edwards, whose name couldn’t be mentioned without the room breaking out in cooing, and Rod Blagojevich, who may be the first criminal target to have his hair bugged.
And the winner is…
Rod Blagojevich. Just try looking away from it.
Next hour: Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Politician