Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement

Who among us wouldn’t want to throw all three nominees in a blender and celebrate the goo that pours out? Remove any one, and the other two are powerless: Without Karl Rove, no electoral mastermind; without George W. Bush, no pliable frontman; and without Dick Cheney, no lawyers shot in the face. Put them together, and you have an extraconstitutional juggernaut that managed to undermine the Republic, if not human society itself, in only eight stunning years. But the Stinque Awards allow no signing statements, so two must be left at the altar of history.

And the winner is…

Dick Cheney. He had the motive and the opportunity.

And that brings us to the end of The 2008 Stinque Awards. See you at the National Review afterparty!

The 2008 Stinque Awards

BRAVA! Nojo, you are truly a God among Mortals.

And Cheney regrets NOTHING. My hearty congratulations, Nojo, and I’ll be sure to save you my bread crusts when we’re all living in Bushvilles.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Probably more comfortable for him than a big ghey fists up.

Truly outstanding!! Barkeep! A bottle of your finest cheap bubbly for our judges.

@Mistress Cynica: You think Yoda pez actually reverts his subjects and verbs to proper position when he gets drunk?

Nojo, huge thanks for all your work to keep us so mightily entertained today. I forgive you for not photoshopping in all the pikes for the heads…this year.

And thanks to everyone for award suggestions and nominees. Once I got everything collated, the awards practically wrote themselves. If only the 37 heads would have cropped themselves as well…

It has arrived. And its name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. Your snarkiest translations of the name start now. Go!

@nojo: Brilliant! Haven’t you been busy? Time well spent! I think you deserve an award yourself.

@Jamie Sommers: Nothing better to toast Awards Day than a fresh bastard.

@nojo: I smell tomorrow’s tweet, you evil genius.

@nojo: Well done, Nojo. I think I correctly predicted 75% of them

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment