Welcome to Hell, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston!

It’s a spawn of Satan destined to rule the Earth as mortals beg for the sweet release of death boy!

Bristol Palin Welcomes a Son [People]
27 Comments

At least they gave him a real name.

That said, every Tripp I’ve heard of and/or met is a preppy douchebag.

“Hon, how can we make sure the world knows how high we were, on what kind of hockey equipment we were pestorking and where we dreamed of taking our honeymoon the night the boy was conceived?”

@nabisco:
Hey, now! Bristol probably named him after her favorite author, Bret Easton Ellis…

Yeah right. Only if Levi liked CCM/Nike equipment instead.

Clearly, they were inspired by the ecological policies of golfer Tripp Isenhower .

And they honored Linda Tripp in the process. Klass Act with a K.

How long does it take to raid a Romanian orphanage anyway?

Ugh. The msnbc “featured video” ad just flashed “Economy Plagues Bush Legacy.”

Shouldn’t that be “Bush Legacy Plagues Everthing?”

Am I the only one having a Chinatown-esque flashback?

My son… my brother… my son… my brother… smack!

@Signal to Noise: @SanFranLefty: Tripp is a nickname for someone who has a “III” after his name, ergo the preppy douchebag. The fact that the hillbillies thought that Tripp was an actual name is, as Jed Clampett would say, pitiful, just pitiful.

@Mistress Cynica:
Does the baby’s name mean that douchebagger is a self fulfilling prophecy?

Nature vs Nurture. Based on what I’ve read ’bout the clan, it doesn’t matter.

@Overlords, re: the new survey:

Can you add an option of “Getting shitfaced and commenting on Stinque”?

thx

@SanFranLefty: and setting off fireworks at 8, 10 (midnight Eastern) and Midnight Mountain time.

Something cheery:

“Deepening economic strife in the US could lead to civil unrest and violence that would require military intervention, warns a new report from the US Army War College.”

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Report_Military_may_have_to_quell_1229.html

Isn’t “Tripp” what we (and be “we” I mean you Murricans) name the third born male child in a fambily? Such as?

@ManchuCandidate: Yeah there’s no way that kid is escaping his douchebag destiny, they’ve probably already got him in aviator glasses and a popped collar.
@SanFranLefty: Tripp and Trig sounds like a crappy commercial-radio morning show duo, so there’s a career plan for them!

@Mistress Cynica: ah, so Tripp is the WASP version of Trey. Learn something new every day.

That kid was probably worn with the umbilical cord wrapped around his shoulders like the pink sweater Mommy’s gonna tie on him on his first day of pre-school.

Let’s pitch in and get him some crystal meth and a dirt bike. Shouldn’t be too hard to find up there.

@Dodgerblue:
That will be his late Xmas/birfday present from Nana Johnston!

Praise Jeebus that Bristol squirted him out in time to get the IRS tax deduction (although any tax attorneys here could answer the question as to whether it’s actually Sarah & Todd’s deduction of their daughter’s baby since they’re still supporting her) and the Alaska oil royalty check. Talk about welfare cheats, the fucking Alaskans and their royalty checks. I had a roommate from Alaska who more than 10 years after leaving the tundra for the lower 48 was still claiming AK citizenship to get his check each February.

@redmanlaw:

Well that should help our society segue perfectly into a totalitarian police state as prophesied by The Running Man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwOOkb-FyU8&feature=related

@Mistress Cynica:
That motherfucker stole my idea. I wish I knew some IP law to sue his ass to pay for my Amtrak fare from Philthadelphia to DeeCee.

Except the unicorn should be black, natch.

And HomoFascist, JNOV, Prommie, Nabisco, Mellbell: Uhhh, yeah, I might be buying that shirt to wear over my down jacket on 1/20/09. Just if y’all want to coordinate outfits and shit.

@SanFranLefty: How on earth do you wear a tshirt over a down jacket? I can’t get my brain around that. Anyway, I’ve become convinced that Tripp’s hilariously crappy name is for real: Bristol had a secret abortion at 15 or so, good ol’ hockey mom took over the downer, and I guess third time is a charm eh?

@drinkyclown:
I’m not going to wear it over a down jacket. I may have minimal style but I still have some style. I just bought the shirt, I may wear it over a turtleneck but I’m not so white trash to wear it over a jacket.

As for Trig and Tripp, I don’t think they even get Cynica’s point that Tripp (or Trey) is the WASP nickname for III. I think they just thought it’d be “cute” for the cousin/brother/nephews to have such similar names.

Tripp, like the ‘shrooms that we stole from Levi’s mom’s house before we had unprotected sex. Abstinence only, baby!

@SanFranLefty: You won’t need the down coat. It will be sunny and beautiful for the Day of The Rise of Black Eagle (plus if it is shitty we will most likely just be at a bar).

@homofascist:
Of course I won’t need the down coat, thanks to global warming, it will probably be 80 degrees on the Mall.

And, yes, if it’s not 80 degrees, my diva ass will be at a bar. Even if it is 80 degrees, I might be at a bar so there’s less moving around.

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