Diamond Freezer for Best Scandal Not Involving Reproductive Organs
The judges particularly enjoyed this category, since rarely do they have the opportunity to trot out their advanced degrees in Comparative Scandalology. Their debate, which will be excerpted in the New York Review of Books prior to publication in hardcover, touched on the relative demerits of selling a Senate seat (Rod Blagojevich), selling out your class (Bernie Madoff), and selling out Neiman Marcus (Sarah Palin). Consequences were all over the map, from Lives Ruined, to Trust Undermined, to Undergarments Underlined. In the end, the decision rested on Style Points.
And the winner is…
Rod Blagojevich. Eighteen fucks can’t be wrong.
Next hour: Platinum Pampers for Best Sex Scandal
The 2008 Stinque Awards
Oh God no. If I have to hear Rod give an acceptance speech, my — my —
I would have voted Bernie on this one … Daily News sez the steady-hand-on-the-tiller money manager might plead insanity. Now that’s chutzpah.
Blaggy is the US America #1 Political Scandal, but pales to Bernie.
Madoff already has a death toll as well as destroying wealth.
@blogenfreude: Apparently Bernie may also have stashed his own money offshore, rather than let some scumbag manager handle it. If Blago was selling anything less than a Senate seat, no contest.
(And Obama’s Senate seat at that. The judges marveled at the spectacle.)
@rptrcub: But what explains the August sewer blast?
And are they sure Michael Bay isn’t filming on location? I mean, c’mon — fire shooting out of manholes. And it involves Transformers. Somebody must have spotted Shia running away from the scene.
@nojo: They’re talking multiple personality. Bernie #1 hid the money from Bernie #2, and Bernie #3 thought he should rat to his sons about Bernie #1. Or something like that.
” I helped steal billions in a highly-structured, well-run ponzi scheme requiring the complicity of several highly-placed shills because my mind was so disordered and chaotic that I could not objectively distinguish right from wrong.”
Ah, that is what the French call les balls
@nojo: Fire shooting out of manholes: The floor is now open for jokes about what happens after you eat Indian food.
@mellbell: We’re not used to having cities at DC-levels of disrepair. We’ve got potholes and perhaps minor street flooding thanks to clogged storm drains in Atlanta, but nothing like DC style Metro fires, manhole explosions (tee hee!) or torrents of water trapping people in cars.
@nabisco: Hey, you can get a free magical electric fireplace heater if you buy an Amish mantle, but the Amish are limiting purchases to 2 per family. You can start calling at 8:00 AM if you are in frost zone 1, 8:30 if you are in cold zone 2, and 9:00 if you are in frigid zone 3.
Prommie: I want to inflict serious amounts of PAIN on the people who run ads like that. PAIN.
@nabisco: Sorry, I was incredibly distracted by the headline “Uterus, Cervix, and Ovaries: The Joys of Being a Woman” on the page.
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