Mylar Gasbag for Best Wind Broken by a Pundit

You know it’s a stellar year for pugnacious pundrity when Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin aren’t even nominated. But the spectre of an America ruled by a radical terrorist islamofascist socialist foreign-born dictator who just happens to be black brought out everyone’s A-game and potty mouths.

Kathryn Jean Lopez represents the Corner baristas at National Review Online, whose spittle prompted millions of cyberdenizens to clean their monitors twice daily. Lanny Davis was the Go-To Hack whenever we needed to hear that white was black, up was down, and Hillary was winning. Bill Kristol brought so much smarm to the table, you feared the FDA would issue a cholesterol warning. Dick Morris reminded us why we shouldn’t have been surprised by Bill Clinton’s sleaze in support of his nominal spouse. And Jim Cramer scores a rare non-political nomination for telling everybody to buy Bear Stearns — just before it crashed.

And the winner is…

Bill Kristol. He was touting Sarah Palin a year before anyone even heard of her.

Next hour: Palladium Pinocchio for Best Human Prop in a Supporting Role

The 2008 Stinque Awards

18 comments:

11:11 am • Monday • December 29, 2008

“nominal spouse” – he he

11:14 am • Monday • December 29, 2008

I’m sure Lanny’s pro-Lieberman wanking made him a strong candidate.

11:15 am • Monday • December 29, 2008

Nice job on K-Lo’s hair.

You know the scariest thing about her? She’s 32. We are going to be dealing with her for a loooong time. Kristol won this year, but she has the capacity to fucking own this title in years to come.

I’m just about two years younger than her — so some comparisons can be made. I take out my romantic failures on myself. She takes out her failures on the world, to the end that nobody could have recreational sex ever again. (Not that I know K-Lo’s sexual record, but — oh, yes, I do. About as successful at penetration and scoring as the Cleveland Browns.) Anyways: for not trying to ruin everyone else’s fun — point for CB.

11:16 am • Monday • December 29, 2008

Well deserved! No one has done more to give Mylar gasbags a bad name than Bill.

12:06 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

True story: The day after Xmas I was sitting on my dad’s couch on my laptop and he was sitting in his recliner reading the local paper (a perfect illustration of many things I have no doubt). Now my dad is a fairly conservative guy, but he is certainly not a mouth-breather and having a son who is teh Ghey has caused him to come around quite a bit on some issues. Anywoo, he just says out loud “Man, that Michelle Malkin is an idiot”. I was a little shocked at first because I could imagine him reading her blog, but then I saw that her syndicated column runs in my (joke of a) hometown paper. I was so proud of him I almost got teary-eyed. Considering my holiday started with me needing to clear up for him that the “$73-dollar-an-hour auto worker” was not an accurate figure, this development was a fantastic moment of common ground and MM bashing.

12:09 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@homofascist:
Did you tell your dad what MM’s nickname is around these parts?

12:13 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@homofascist: What a heartwarming story. Reminds me of the time my mother saw Sheriff Joe Arpaio on the teevee and remarked that he’s an asshole. Have you non-Zonies heard of this guy? I’m never sure just how notorious that idiot is outside this state.

12:14 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@Jamie Sommers:
Oh, I know all about that dude. He’s a fucking piece of work.

12:19 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

But what about that cute lady who wrote so convincingly of Authentic American Bloodlines? Was she ignored because she quickly saw the writing on the wall, repented, and turned into an Obama fan?

12:26 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@homofascist: I had a similarly heartwarming moment while talking with my dad about the White House Christmas card (he donated to the RNC during a few election cycles in the 90s and is still on their mailing list). He said that it usually features a verse from the Old Testament, but that this year it comes from the New Testament, because Bush is on the way out and doesn’t have to pretend to care about the Jews anymore. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

12:35 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

Jamie Sommers: The pinko commies at 60 Minutes did a segment on him years ago. Pink underwear, green baloney sandwiches, tent prisons in a desert, the neon “vacancy” sign on a guard tower. Yeah. Sheriff Joe is a real winner — America’s bloodthirst for base, degrading punishment of prisoners (and thus, to a large extent, the underclass), in human form.

12:51 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@mellbell:
@homofascist:

Descendant of an unrepentant conservative mother here. Dad voted for Barry, and in 04 pretended like he was gonna vote for Kerry (submitted a blank ballot, I just learned) but Mom is hardcore. We joke that she gets her talking points faxed in from the RNC every morning: it is already the “Obama recession”, she’s “scared” of the president elect (because Michelle has an “overbite”), and don’t forget that it was WWII that got us out of the Depression, not FDR dammit! There’s a tuneful ode to a tour of the eastern seaboard I took with her Reagan statue in the late 90s called “Ronnie on the Go”, g’head look for it on the Youtubez.

1:06 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@homofascist: @mellbell: I haz envy. I made little to no progress with the RW mouthbreathers in my own family this holiday, other than getting them to admit that Barry did indeed win in a “landslide,” demonstrating their dwindling ranks of die-hards. Also, I informed my dad that I would no longer tolerate an attitude of innocence on their part when they took rights away from teh gays based on the fact that they’re helpless to go against what Jeebus wants, and I told him Jeebus didn’t want him to eat shrimp anymore in that case. Finally, I gleefully horrified my gamma by threatening to give the entirety of her generous Christmas check to Barry, which earned me a gasp and a “don’t you dare!” This I only did because sweet innocent gamma was the one who started the Barry-bashing in the first place!

1:14 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@nabisco: My dad is shifting left in his golden years (my theory: historically he voted his tax bracket, and as he nears a comfortable retirement has found less reason to do so, not to mention his discomfort with conservative wedge issues). I haven’t yet managed to work out of him how he voted in 2004, but I do know that he voted for Obama.

3:40 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@Jamie Sommers: Isn’t he the guy that had people arrested at a community meeting? I was reading about this from some blogger who was visiting his parents in AZ over the holidays…

3:57 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@chicago bureau: That’s the mild stuff. He’s now charging inmates for the green baloney. The county has paid tens of millions of dollars to settle cases where inmates have died in the jails and he’s been conducting immigration sweeps to round up brown folks who have the audacity to drive with a broken taillight. Meanwhile, his officers take upwards of 20 minutes to respond to calls and can’t clear rapes and robberies they’re supposed to be investigating. Then there were the newspaper guys he arrested for publishing an article critical of him. I could go on and on….

@homofascist: I think you are referring to a recent county supervisors meeting. There were four community activists who were arrested for applauding. It’s fuckin’ crazy out here.

4:20 pm • Monday • December 29, 2008

@Jamie Sommers: That is exactly what I read about.

12:03 am • Tuesday • December 30, 2008

@Jamie Sommers:

Sugarplum, let’s just say that your sheriff (and your tax dollars thx to 42 USC 1988) is the full employment act for civil rights attorneys.

Especially the civil rights attorneys based in a state to the left of you.

Jus’ sayin’ or speculatin’ this is what I’ve heard.

Such as.

Lookie! Bristol had a baby gift from Baby Jeebus.

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