Senate Slumber Party!

What’s that? Metalocalypse is a rerun tonight? They couldn’t pay you to watch Mighty Boosh, even if you knew what the hell it was about?

You don’t have to settle for retreads or infomercials — not when the United States Senate is providing live programming at this ungodly hour on C-SPAN. So if insomnia is what ails ya, stick around for our Open Thread/Holiday Cloture Singalong for the cure. The Big Vote is scheduled for 1 a.m., and we’ll be here with a glass of warm milk to keep you company.

If you prefer sleep, no problem! There’s another cloture vote scheduled for 7 a.m. Tuesday. And still another set for 1 p.m. Wednesday. After which follows the real vote on the healthcare bill. If anyone’s still standing.

Senate On Deadline: The Timeline To Pass Health Care By Christmas [Newsweek]
46 Comments

If they’re open, can we just drive down and watch live?

DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKL—

Oh. Right.

These award shows always go on too long.

McConnell: “Everybody agrees that we need healthcare reform.” Try the veal!

McConnell continues standup routine, offers praise to the bipartisan Social Security act, Medicare act — and the Americans with Disability Act. Tip your waitress!

McConnell: healthcare plan “plunders Medicare”. We’ll be here all week!

McConnell: “Widespread and intense public opposition.” Is this thing working?

YouTube moment: Harry Reid confuses AARP, NAACP.

Since Jon Stewart is on vacation, I’ll add NAMBLA.

@nojo: Are they really menacing pre-teen pages?

@FlyingChainSaw: Actually, they mistake anyone under 40 for “pre-teen.”

nojo: That’s funny.

EARLIER: The Geezer went ahead and unleashed some vintage crazy. Invoked John Paul Jones, he did. Maybe next time he should go with a more obscure Navy hero instead of boring people to death.

(Speaking of boring people to death, Lamar! Alexander is still in the Senate. Who knew?)

And now Harry Reid is slamming the Republicans. Not so much slamming as critiquing vaguely, really.

Oh, and there was Tom Coburn telling people to get on their knees and pray that the snow prevents Dems from showing up. Yeah.

Now Harry Reid is channeling Miiiill, circa Feburary 2008. The ghosts of Liver Girl live on, even though Johnny (politically) does not.

@nojo: “I have not begun to fight” Jones. (Isn’t that John Paul Jones too? I’m asking seriously — I’ve sworn off Led Zep after living with two displaced frat boys in sophomore year at the Farm and thus becoming allergic to them.)

@nojo sez: “When’s the hot tub scene?”

That’s delayed. Mikulski cannot find her motivation.

@chicago bureau: Yes, they’re both JPJ. But Davy Jones is a fraud.

Reid: “That’s what this legislation’s all about, Charlie Brown.” (Dooo-doo-do-doo, dooo-doo-do-dooooo…..)

“In the short time I’ve been speaking, someone has died due to a lack of health insurance.”

Then SHUT THE FUCK UP!

If Tarantino were presenting this, we would discover that Reid and McConnell are pointing guns at each other’s crotches.

What? They waived the roll call?

ADD: Whew. Showtime!

UPDATE: Final vote on passage, per C-SPAN, is at 1900 (ET) on December 24. Fa la la la la, la la la suck.

That is a very satisfying whip of the pencil the Clerk has going.

The Capitol Hooters is gonna be busy tonight.

@nojo: I think you’re mistaking savage, indiscriminate wanton lust for ineptitude.

Lieberman. Aye. The Douchebag comes through.

nojo: Apparently, there is a thirty-hour requirement on each step of the process. It’s just another reason why everyone should lurve the Senate.

@nojo: And there’s Ben Nelson. One chance for drama — will Olympia swerve? Of course not.

Bernie Sanders sez OK. So there’s that too.

nojo: He was saying “aye” warmly as everybody blew him in the last two weeks. Call it a reflex.

What the world needs now is love sweet love…

Ed? ED? Damn. He’s dead.

Harkin and Baucus trading back-slaps. Unclear as to why, but it’s late.

Shit — everybody’s hugging Reid. Again unclear as to why.

The same BMW commercial immediately follows on MSNBC and CNN.

Let’s check in with Jim Webb…

Over the past year, the process of debating this issue often overwhelmed the substance of fixing the problem. The Obama Administration declared health care reform to be a major domestic objective, but they did not offer the Congress a bill. Nor did they propose a specific set of objectives from which legislation could be derived. Consequently, legislation was developed independently through five different Congressional committees, three in the House and two in the Senate. This resulted in a large amount of contradictory information and a great deal of confusion among our public.

Aye.

Back at the Progressive Catfight, it’s been noticed that the split on healthcare reflects the split on Iraq: Whether to move ahead or take a breather. Were there progressive war supporters in 2003? Apparently so.

nojo: Truth — the fact that Black Eagle misplayed this from the jump does not mean it was his fault. This one is on Congress.

Anytime you get publicly elected officials with (a) an axe to grind and (b) a boatload of crazy to bring to the equation, you are going to get distortions. That is Congress’s job — to take a relatively simple problem (a few facets and distinguishing characteristics and turn it into a big huge pile of vomit. They did it with 9/11, and they did it with this. Isn’t that right, Maddie?

@chicago bureau: This one is on Congress.

I think that literally was the strategy: Make them own it.

(Plus, bad memories of Bubba handing them a done deal.)

In other news, PGA awards Tiger, Pope John Paul II closer to sainthood. Coincidence?

What I need to know is whether or not any Senators have been prescribed ED drugs on their gov’t-paid health insurance plans and, if they’re voting against the bill, whether or not they will return the orgasms subsequently enjoyed. Say they let us punch them in the fact 7-10 times for every encounter.

@FlyingChainSaw: I think the Senators should have to write two checks each month, the second for their ED drugs. If it’s good enough for my ladybits, it’s good enough for their peens.

@SanFranLefty: Exactly. This is about the wanton carnal madness of Senators who should be turning to prayer! Their prescriptions should be published online as well so that constituents may judge if their elected representatives are going pestork-mad and need to be recalled.

@FlyingChainSaw: Whatever Sen. Byrd is having, I want some.

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