Yesterday was madness.  Work / firewall at work prevented me from watching USA v Finland in real-time.  And so I imposed on the workmates what I referred to as the Cone of Silence.  Trouble was that I — not being a person who has ever watched an episode of Get Smart — had no idea that the Cone of Silence was totally useless.  And thus rumors about a decent start began to trickle through.  And yet…. I was all the same uttlerly dumbfounded at the 6-spot Team USA-USA-USA laid on the Finnish squad in the first period.  (The boys are simply not that overpowering.)

Still: this was the whole Olympics in the Internet Age wrapped up in a nutshell — total insulation from news as it happens is literally impossible.  Which makes the question of who will pick up the teevee contract for 2014 forward somewhat curious.  Rumors are that its down to Fox (FX, Fox News, Fox Business (sorry — they won’t be around for much longer) and tons of regional cable sports nets that can be commandeered) and ABC/ESPN (ESPN2, ESPN Classic, ESPNU, ESPN Deportes).  But in four years, the internet will probably be able to throw snow or chlorine-infused water right through your screen.  Steve Jobs is working on it right freaking now.  It’ll be like Smell-O-Vision, only messier.  (The implications for viewers of teh pron will of course be staggering.)  So: prestige v total irrelevance — place your bets!

Anyway: the balance of the Games are all prologue to USA v Canada II — The Reckoning — on Sunday afternoon.  Competing for interest today?  The big fellas on the track for four-man bobsled, men’s slalom, and speed skating pursuit (more hardware for U.S. Americans is assured).  The gold medal game of men’s curling (Canada v Norway and their fancy pants) is over on CNBC at 1800 ET.  Slovakia and Finland go for bronze at 2200 ET on MSNBC.  And the exhibition gala for figure skating — which means only that figure skating finds a way to be even more useless.

• It’s the warmest winter on record! Suck it, Northeast! [Express UK, NYT]
• Killer Iceberg breaks loose in Antarctica; comparisons to Rhode Island forthcoming. [BBC]
• House votes 315-97 to extend Patriot Act, rivaling original 357-66 vote in 2001. [Wired]
• Carly Simon still won’t reveal namesake of “You’re So Vain”; Boomers maintain stranglehold on America into a new decade. [Vanity Fair]

The latest in CA hate: KILL TEH GAYZ!

Miss Beverly Hills Tries to One-Up Carrie Prejean [Think Progress]

Meet Daniel Stout, the most awesome dude in the world.

Danny — can we do this on a first-name basis? Thanks, dude! — was just elected to the Georgia House. Danny, a family-values Republican, replaced the district’s prior family-values Republican, who resigned after his ex-wife called him out for having “a full-out affair” with a lobbyist while they were married.

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Bollocks!

Senate Democrats spent Thursday night hammering away at Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky.) for single-handedly holding up action in the upper chamber — but he blurted out a message to one of them on the Senate floor: “Tough s—t.”

Suit? Spit? Slat? Stat? Slit? Tell us, Politico! We can handle it.

Sen. Jim Bunning holds floor: ‘Tough s–t’ [Politico]

Well, we’re down to the last weekend — at last.  We are done with the figure skating.  (Admittedly, last night’s show was pretty damned good.  But still: NO MORE FIGURE SKATING.)

A quick check of the medal count shows USA-USA-USA with 8/12/12 for 32 total, for the lead.  Zee Germans are a very efficient second with 8/11/7 for 26, followed by Norway (7/6/6 — 19), Canada City (8/6/3 — 17), and the Fightin’ Putins (3/4/6 — 13).  Looks like U.S. Americans are a pretty safe bet for grabbing the overall W.

But Canada’s got a solid shot at taking the most gold medals.  They’ve got two shots at curling gold (including tomorrow afternoon for the ladies — 1800 ET on CNBC), and of course men’s hockey — following on from a comprehensive victory for the wimmin last night.

Speaking of the fellas — tomorrow’s semifinal between USA and Finland is a legit reason to bust out of work for a few hours (1500 ET on the Mothership — live, coast-to-coast, in a stunning act of sanity).  Canada and Slovakia go later (2100 ET on CNBC, after curling).

Elsewhere, one last go-around for Lindsey Vonn (goodbye Shin of Destiny, hello Fickle Finger of OW OW OW) and Apolo Ohno in these games, and perhaps ever.  And the big fellas of four-man bobsled get their first runs in tomorrow, with the final on Saturday.

(Private to Manchu — stay strong, brother.)

Er, sorry. Some asshole kid got our fucking state legislature to ban cussing for a goddam week, so we have to get the filth out of our system in advance.

Assembly approves ‘cuss-free week’ [Sacramento Bee]

No Cussing Club