Meet Daniel Stout, the most awesome dude in the world.

Danny — can we do this on a first-name basis? Thanks, dude! — was just elected to the Georgia House. Danny, a family-values Republican, replaced the district’s prior family-values Republican, who resigned after his ex-wife called him out for having “a full-out affair” with a lobbyist while they were married.

But, as the writer Tom Crawford of Capitol Impact noted this week, Stout “has been compelled to address a personal incident from 10 years ago: he had an affair with his first wife’s mother while his first wife was pregnant with their daughter. Stout and his first wife subsequently divorced.”

Doooooooood!!! Fucking awesome!!!

But hey, Danny: “While the relationship was stopped short of ‘sex’, I recognize my mistake as adulterous and unfaithful nonetheless.” Not cool. Then again, what kind of sex with the old lady’s mom requires scarequotes?

After Rep. Resigns In Sex Scandal, Georgia County Elects GOPer Who Had Affair With Mother-In-Law [TPM]

Your morning jolt: Glenn Richardson and Paulding County’s sense of irony [AJC]


Is it too much to hope that Nancy Grace is somehow connected to this story?

“Was stopped”? Passive voice? Suggesting that someone or something stopped it “short of sex”? Was the mother-in-law too short for sex? Was she wearing some kind of whalebone corset that Danny didn’t have the tools to undo?

In that part of the world, I think it means she was sucking him off and he was shattering her B-side.

He was 19 and already married with a kid on the way? I have to say this story gives me a incestuous-backwoods-Deliverance vibe as opposed to a Mrs-Robinson-MILF vibe.

My god. Dustin Hoffman was ugly even when he was young.

Surely there’s more to this story… maybe something concerning the municipal water supply?

She’s my sister… *slap* …she’s my aunt… *slap* … she’s my sister… *slap*

See, now the Republican Fetish List is almost complete:

Autoerotic asphixiation
Paraphilic infantilism
Transvestic fetishism

If only we could find a necrophiliac and a zoophille we’d have a full set.

@flippin eck:
Slow down there rattlesnake…before you cue the “backwoods” banjo music… the article says the dude is a 29 year old banker from DALLAS! YEEEHAAW! Bring out the mechanical bull set it to 8.5 and bounce yer ya-yas off.

well it’s not the first time someone from Texas has screwed up.
Roll the bull back into the stall and cue the banjo music.

hey, where is everybody? Like a tomb in here.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:

What would it take to shock us these days? Farm animals? Hookers–male and female, dead and alive? Aliens??

(dum)Fux Nooz could turn into a 24 hour gay porn channel and no one would care, as long as the “actors” took the kahks outta their mouths long enough to condemn hummsekshualitee occasionally.

Or as Shep Smith says: “bluugghhs goffes baaaahhhdth”

Me go now (makes drinky-drinky motion)

Re: this story – as I’ve said before, he’s doing great for a Republican, having had sex with someone who was of legal age, consenting, *and* of the opposite sex.

Unrelated, but I think I found the Republican’s 2010 campaign theme song:


Anybody have an update on our friend in Canada City on how things went today?

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I’m preparing for tonight’s forecasted epic rain. I secured the Jamieson’s bottle and replenished the ice bucket.

@SanFranLefty: Not here. I just checked the clubhouse, nothing.

Hey, I’m here, let the party begin!

@Promnight: Was just given the B&N satanic version of teh Kindle. Downloaded 8 volumes (plays, stories, couple novels, research) from the site and they were FREE. I’m likin’ it so far. I know you’re a big fan of Kindle and I never thought I’d say this but I could get used to the paper-free deal just as soon as I learn to use it.

BTW. Barry looks 10 years older than when he stole our Hope.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Damn, dude, I had to look up Klismaphilia. And you would think I would know something like that. Jeebus.

@Benedick: I think all presnidents instantly age a bunch the first year in the White House. There’s probably some kind of genie bottle they have to rub to find out all the secrets, and then they’re toast if they don’t tow the line, and it makes their pubes turn grey.

Or maybe the White House is just fucking haunted.

@Pedonator: I say I should know Klismaphilia because I’m going to share something with you, Stinquers, something which I know you do not want me to share.

For a while I was onboard with “internal cleansing”, thinking that such a process could wash away my years of sin. Plus, I read somewhere that it was Princess Di’s secret to vampiric longevity and glowing skin-tone. (And look how well that turned out).

So once or twice a week I would go to the “cleansing center” and get a tube shoved up my ass and have gallons of water irrigate me. This was not a sexual thing at all, it was for Health.

It was quite fascinating, actually, you’d be amazed at the shit that can come out of your ass when gallons of water irrigate your upper and lower colons.

But in the end (!), I came to realize: there’s a reason the food I eat festers in my colon. Among other things, it lets me burp or fart at will.

I think I will submit an article on this to Gwyneth’s GOOP. Then she and Chris will friend me on Facebook and we’ll have fabulous vacations together in places like the Maldives. I can just see it, Gwyneth and me, side by side on matching massage tables, tubes in our asses, having a great conversation about the various effluents coming out of our bodies.

@Pedo: I think you win the Friday Night Overshare Award, dude. T-fuckin-M-I. Wow!

@SanFranLefty: I was traveling last year and while zipping through cable channels stopped at Tyra to see if she had TOs and there in hte middle of the stage was a lady on her side on a gurney. Every once in a while they’d ask how she was doing and then it became clear she was getting irrigated live on national TV. Now that is over-sharing.

@Pedonator: Wow. I had an attractive clinician give me a parasitic enema (that is, er, to diagnose then get rid of them), but it was a one off deal, and I was kind of shy about the whole thing. When I went back a year later, riddled again with a belly full of crud and a little more gumption, it was a dude. I convinced them to just give me the antibiotics.

we’re back on colons young’uns.
next up: periodontics

shocking…not one mention of a diaper rating for a full out 9.5 GOP sex scandal. mother-in-law? awesome, just awesome georgia!

@Pedonator: High colonics! Those were the days. Sweet story, BTW.

I think the reason for Diana, Princess of Wales’s, complexion was, a: money spent in vast amounts on maintenance and b: money spent in vast amounts on maintenance and c: money spent in vast amounts on maintenance. It’s really not hard to do.

@baked: Which reminds me, I need to call my periodontist to make an appointment to have the other half of my mouth cut open so he can scrape out the pockets in my gums. You don’t bleed as much as you might think. Which is to say I only noticed a couple of specks on the ceiling and those gowns they wear are specially designed so the blood washes right out.

Science offers an explanation for why RW evangelicals can’t keep it in their pants:

The comments are nearly as funny as the article…

@Pedonator: @Benedick: This will teach me to catch up on last night’s comments while eating breakfast.

@JNOVjr: That middle one looks like an outtake of Harvey Birdman.

@nojo: I miss Birdman and all of the other good [AS] originals. At least Venture Bros. is still funny… And they’ve picked up FMA: Brotherhood, so that’s another plus. They’re so keen on recycling old crap, so why not play some of the good stuff they haven’t shown in years like Outlaw Star or Witch Hunter Robin? Don’t get me started on the rest of Cartoon Network, either, because I could go on for days.

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