The President of These United States will be delivering a speech from the Oval Office tonight, which we’re told is Really Serious — tantamount to Dad turning the car around — because The President of These United States never delivers a speech from the Oval Office, unless he’s telling us about a quagmire he’s about to launch in the Mideast, or consoling us about a nice schoolteacher who just got blown to bits on live television, or diagnosing the Republic with a serious case of ennui.

Or quits. But that was a Happy Moment.

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Since TommCatt was a little meh about Keisuke Honda of the Japanese national team being today’s World Cup Hottie of the Day, Stinque’s tireless soccer correspondent turned to other continents. While Cameroon’s Samuel Eto’o is definitely hawt and usually a terrific soccer player, his team collapsed against Japan.

Thus, SFL turns her lonely eyes to the Continent, where Holland, Sweden, and Italy offer an embarrassment of soccer hottie riches. At the end of the day, it’s the Italian team’s captain, Fabio Cannavaro, who wins today’s award.

The Italians were pretty terrible today against the low-ranked Paraguayans, despite Italy being the returning champs. Fabio is one of the oldest (36 years old) and shortest (5’9″) players in the World Cup, but he still kicks butt, and more importantly, he took his shirt off after the match even though there was a cold winter rain.

Oh, and he once posed with nothing but a soccer ball.  Somewhat NSFW after the jump.

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OK boys and girls… set aside your frustrations, just briefly, and enjoy this moment of levity:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1DtanchTS8

Now, good night. Sleep tight. Tomorrow we crank the ol’ machine up again and go at it for another few rounds.

So Indiana’s Steve King is chatting on Gordon Liddy’s radio program this morning, and—

Wait. Steve King and Gordon Liddy? Don’t get ahead of us.

Anyway, Steve’s talking to America’s Felon, and this spills out:

When you look at this administration, I’m offended by Eric Holder and the President also, their posture.

No, he’s not talking about bowing this time. Stop interrupting.

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Ladies and gentlemen, your candidate for the Alabama GOP second-district runoff. Spoiler alert: He’s dead too.

Play of the Day: Demrat Congresscritter Bob Etheridge of North Carolina gets up close and personal with a Breitbart-affiliated Flip-wielder. We’re supposed to condemn Etheridge for manhandling the asshole who won’t identify himself (and cravenly blurs his own face on the video), but instead we’ll condemn Etheridge for later apologizing.

Hey, we don’t like snarky ambush interviews when Michael Moore does them, either.

Democratic Congressman Caught On Camera Roughing Up College Student [TPM]

While we’re on the subject of Raping the Earth…

INTERVIEWER: What about mountaintop removal?

PAUL: I think whoever owns the property can do with the property as they wish, and if the coal company buys it from a private property owner and they want to do it, fine. The other thing I think is that I think coal gets a bad name, because I think a lot of the land apparently is quite desirable once it’s been flattened out. As I came over here from Harlan, you’ve got quite a few hills. I don’t think anybody’s going to be missing a hill or two here and there.

Hey, no problem. Randy’s patients aren’t going to be missing his lack of board certification, either.

Rand Paul on mountaintop removal: “I don’t think anyone’s going to be missing a hill or two here and there” [Crooks and Liars, via Think Progress]