Bring Out the Comfy Backdrop!
The President of These United States will be delivering a speech from the Oval Office tonight, which we’re told is Really Serious — tantamount to Dad turning the car around — because The President of These United States never delivers a speech from the Oval Office, unless he’s telling us about a quagmire he’s about to launch in the Mideast, or consoling us about a nice schoolteacher who just got blown to bits on live television, or diagnosing the Republic with a serious case of ennui.
Or quits. But that was a Happy Moment.
Apparently The President of These United States will not quit, but instead will tell us about the nasty things being done by people who can’t even block an inflated ball with silly giant gloves, and what he plans to do to shut up the damn critics for a cycle hold them responsible for disrupting his pandering about offshore drilling making even more a mess of the Gulf than we’ve accomplished by befouling the Mississippi.
During the expected fifteen minutes of his speech, the problem will grow worse by approximately 21,875 gallons.
All of which is to say, we’re not clear about the purpose of the speech, unless Obama pulls a Steve Jobs, says “one more thing,” and announces that bathtub cold fusion will hit the market in thirty days. But that won’t stop us from firing up an Open Thread/Grease Revival at 7:45 pm ET and finding out.
Obama Will Take to Oval Office With a Familiar Theme [NYT]
Nationalize BP? Arrest the CEO?
Naaaaaah.
If he cares about his approval ratings, he’ll have Hayward dragged into the office in chains and personally kick him to death on the Oval Office floor.
The American People deserve to know the Truth.
@FlyingChainSaw: Like Colbert in a very funny bit.
@Benedick: The truth is that Obama is too frightened to be called Chavez of the North to do the right thing – namely disembowel Hayward on TV, nationalize BP and recruit all of its tankers as platforms to chase, isolate and guppy up the oil.
Colbert was close. When he had him in the door jam and was slamming the door on him, he should have been shouting, “Here’s your fucking life back, asshole, just in time to fucking DIE! Die, motherfucking piece of shit, fucking die!” and then thrown Hayward to the floor and jumped up and down on his head shouting, “America! I avenge you!”
I’m watching Congressional gasbags vent before they pretend to spank oil company execs to whom they’ve been sucking up for years.
Grease? Damn you, Nojo, I’m going to have Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta duets afflicting me as earworms all morning long…
@Benedick:
they cant handle the truth
I had nothing to do with this. I swear.
Speaking of rich assholes, here’s the latest rumor on Erik Prince:
Erik Prince selling Blackwater, moving to UAE
Awfully convenient of him to move to a country without an extradition treaty. On the other hand, while I’m typically strongly opposed to extrajudicial killings, the irony of sending a team of mercenariesCONTRACTORS in after him (or maybe a drone strike) would be amazing…
What the hell kinda color scheme is that?
@ nojo,
This is also the room where The Prezledent assures us every six months (1 Friedman Unit) that Victory is Right Around the Corner(TM).
@Original Andrew: The Light at the End of the Tunnel is powered by a lithium battery.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America IMPALE!
¡ANDREW! • Morning in America If only there were a way to block Prezinazi AntiChrist's sinister, fugly face.
KAREN MARIE MIGHT BE PEEKING JUST A LITTLE • Morning in America Oh, hey, kids - long time no see! I am delighted to see you all still kicking it.
¡ANDREW! • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn @nojo: When bad things happen to bad people, and they get what they deserve.
NOJO • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn And now he’s dead. At 49. Of pancreatic cancer. Which he couldn’t afford, so he set up a…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America DISMEMBER!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Morning in America The Orange Grinch who stole an Election (and Top Secrets)
NOJO • Morning in America Needs a Dragnet narrator.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! PIECE OF SHIT, TRUMP! DIE! DIE! DIE!
¡ANDREW! • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! That’s a manifesto I definitely endorse ; )