Bring Out the Comfy Backdrop!

The President of These United States will be delivering a speech from the Oval Office tonight, which we’re told is Really Serious — tantamount to Dad turning the car around — because The President of These United States never delivers a speech from the Oval Office, unless he’s telling us about a quagmire he’s about to launch in the Mideast, or consoling us about a nice schoolteacher who just got blown to bits on live television, or diagnosing the Republic with a serious case of ennui.

Or quits. But that was a Happy Moment.

Apparently The President of These United States will not quit, but instead will tell us about the nasty things being done by people who can’t even block an inflated ball with silly giant gloves, and what he plans to do to ~~shut up the damn critics for a cycle~~ hold them responsible for ~~disrupting his pandering about offshore drilling~~ making even more a mess of the Gulf than we’ve accomplished by befouling the Mississippi.

During the expected fifteen minutes of his speech, the problem will grow worse by approximately 21,875 gallons.

All of which is to say, we’re not clear about the purpose of the speech, unless Obama pulls a Steve Jobs, says “one more thing,” and announces that bathtub cold fusion will hit the market in thirty days. But that won’t stop us from firing up an Open Thread/Grease Revival at 7:45 pm ET and finding out.

Obama Will Take to Oval Office With a Familiar Theme [NYT]

nojo
7:00 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010
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12 Comments

ManchuCandidate

7:38 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

Nationalize BP? Arrest the CEO?

Naaaaaah.

FlyingChainSaw

7:47 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

If he cares about his approval ratings, he’ll have Hayward dragged into the office in chains and personally kick him to death on the Oval Office floor.

Benedick

8:23 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

The American People deserve to know the Truth.

@FlyingChainSaw: Like Colbert in a very funny bit.

8:33 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

@Benedick: The truth is that Obama is too frightened to be called Chavez of the North to do the right thing – namely disembowel Hayward on TV, nationalize BP and recruit all of its tankers as platforms to chase, isolate and guppy up the oil.

Colbert was close. When he had him in the door jam and was slamming the door on him, he should have been shouting, “Here’s your fucking life back, asshole, just in time to fucking DIE! Die, motherfucking piece of shit, fucking die!” and then thrown Hayward to the floor and jumped up and down on his head shouting, “America! I avenge you!”

Dodgerblue

10:25 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

I’m watching Congressional gasbags vent before they pretend to spank oil company execs to whom they’ve been sucking up for years.

SanFranLefty

10:28 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

Grease? Damn you, Nojo, I’m going to have Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta duets afflicting me as earworms all morning long…

Capt Howdy

10:42 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

@Benedick:
they cant handle the truth

10:47 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

I had nothing to do with this. I swear.

Lightning, fire destroy ‘Touchdown Jesus’

al2o3cr

10:59 am • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

Speaking of rich assholes, here’s the latest rumor on Erik Prince:

Erik Prince selling Blackwater, moving to UAE

Awfully convenient of him to move to a country without an extradition treaty. On the other hand, while I’m typically strongly opposed to extrajudicial killings, the irony of sending a team of ~~mercenaries~~CONTRACTORS in after him (or maybe a drone strike) would be amazing…

Prommie

12:22 pm • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

What the hell kinda color scheme is that?

Original Andrew

3:19 pm • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

@ nojo,

This is also the room where The Prezledent assures us every six months (1 Friedman Unit) that Victory is Right Around the Corner(TM).

nojo

3:20 pm • Tuesday • June 15, 2010

@Original Andrew: The Light at the End of the Tunnel is powered by a lithium battery.