Jesus Zapped By Popular Demand

Er, “By Popular Demand” means it’s been mentioned in two threads and an email:

Monroe fire officials set damage at $700,000 after lighting struck and burned down a 62-foot-high Jesus Christ statue and an adjacent amphitheater at Solid Rock Church late Monday.

Church leaders are vowing to rebuild the iconic “King of Kings” statue — also dubbed “Touchdown Jesus” — which alone was valued at $300,000.

We don’t know about you, but we kinda like the result. Gives it that Terminator look.

‘Touchdown Jesus’ statue at Solid Rock Church on I-75 destroyed by lightning, fire []

Where’s your God now, giant Jesus-from-the-waist-up statue? Huh? Where is he?

Grumbling and sending ominous portents, methinks.

Whoa. Before picture looks more like something from Planet of the Apes.

Awful presumptuous of them to rebuild the thing, I think – what if Jeebus *wanted* it to go away?

How did they ever nail him to that puny cross?


Even foam Jeebus needs lighting protection.

Damn, I thought it was the original Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame. Dis-a-pointed.

And speaking of gays. In breaking news we have learned that, in a daring move, Rep. Aaron Schock (R – Closet) has solved his gay problem.

He has burned the turquoise belt!!!

No word yet on gay-face.

I stole this, but its worth repeating: Jesus is Resin.

@Benedick: My friend and spiritual advisor, Pat Robertson, told me about that, you know, how all through history, things have not gone well for any nation that tolerates the gays. And there are the millions of murdered fetuses, too, its not all gays, murdered fetuses will bring down the wrath of god too. Nope, this is clearly a sign god has forsaken the USA for its fetus-murdering faggotry. I doubt even a good pogrom against those reponsible can help now, but, you’d think they would at least try, as a final, desperate attempt to save the country, wouldn’t you?

First euthanized mice, now this:

A pond surrounding the statue that used to be full of fish is now filled with remnants of the structure, made of fiber glass and foam. All the fish are either dead or dying, Mascarella said.

Pore, pore critters.

@Jesuswalksinidaho: +1

I gotta say
that was one fugly jesus. maybe god was offended.

@Capt Howdy: I sure as hell was.

@Prommie: Maybe we should all burn our belts as a sign of atonement?

@Benedick: This theology is tricky, this is a quirky god these folks worship. Apparently, he abhors the gays, and the heathens, yet he doesn’t punish the gays and heathens, he reserves his punishment for the christians, his own worshippers, for tolerating the gays and christians. Seems that the thing he abhors most of all, is tolerance. He will not tolerate a tolerator.

So I don’t think you have to do anything. God’s not coming after you. But those christians, if they want to make god happy, and not have him zapping more of their hideous statuary, they are gonna have to start not-tolerating you, right quick.

@Prommie: Good to know. Just as long as He doesn’t force us all to wear white jeans with fuchsia gingham and turquoise. That would be a torture too strong to bear. In fact I now know what hell might look like.

In other news, Grover Norquist finally came out.


I hope he slapped his “assistant’s” bare ass with it one last time before disposing of it.

The new Jesus is a step in the right direction. Looks like a traditional Navajo depiction of a “holy person”, which are deities that embody natural forces.

Why hasn’t the Lawd personally obliterated Cambridge, Massachusetts, which is currently celebrating its third openly gay mayor in a row!

“Maher follows former Cambridge mayors Ken Reeves, who was the first African-American openly gay man to serve as a mayor in the United States, and E. Denise Simmons, who became the country’s first out lesbian African-American mayor.”

Holy snap!

@redmanlaw: I was going to compare it to San Francisco’s Sutro TV tower, which always reminded me of an Angry God.

That’s exactly the same pose I strike as I belt out Rock and Roll Fantasy in front of my bedroom mirror.

@Original Andrew:

you know its called the touchdown jesus, right?


300,000 bucks? are you fucking kidding me?

I was on the scene not too long ago:

It was either totally lightning or totally me. I report, you decide.

Best part of this story:

“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.”

@hunkamonkiman: Damn, what I wouldn’t give for a group photo of everyone here doing that.


the only thing better would be a photo of three people doing the “M-C-A”
part of YMCA!

@Capt Howdy: I love that picture.

PS. How’s Lucy?


she is great. the best behaved of my kids. no big change in my life except now my giant white dust bunnies are giant gray dust bunnies.

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