You may have heard that Sarah Palin wants to travel to The Land That Goalies Failed to meet Maggie Thatcher. You may also have heard that there’s little light in the Baroness’s attic these days, which won’t stop Talibunny from getting a photo op, and may force us to reopen the Human Prop category in the 2010 Stinque Awards.

You probably haven’t seen the photos that accompanied the Daily Mail’s story on the subject, however. We reproduce them above, mainly because it took us ten minutes to come up with our headline, and the sole purpose of this post is to justify it.

Highly favored Spain (though they *did* lose to the US of A a few months ago, thus calling their dominance into question) lost today to lowly Switzerland in a 1-0 upset. The second half of the Spain-Switzerland game is one for the ages as the Spaniards launched an all-out offensive assault and the implacable Swiss batted them away.

While the too-easy and obvious choice for tonight’s Stinque World Cup Hottie of the Day would be the adorable Gelson Fernandes, the Cape Verdean immigrant to Switzerland, the Stinque Department of Lady-Bits and Soccer Correspondents must instead award the honor to a member of the Spanish team who played his heart out today.

Oh, and he posed for naughty-pants B&W photos.

Sergio Ramos, all hundreds of pixels of him, after the jump.

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Anyone responsible, civilly or criminally, should be bankrupted and banished from polite society:

Oil firm BP “manipulated” the Bush administration into softening regulation of oil drilling, leading to the environmental disaster unfolding in the Gulf of Mexico, a lawsuit filed in a Florida courtroom alleges.

…

An inspector-general’s report earlier this year indicated that the federal agency charged with overseeing oil reserves, the Minerals Management Service, largely failed to live up to the most minimal expectations of it. The report showed the MMS to have allowed oil companies to fill in their own inspection reports, and at least one MMS inspector had admitted to a methamphetamine addiction that caused him to be high while carrying out inspections.

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Q: What’s thicker than the orange sludge that’s killing sea-life and washing up on Louisiana shores these days?

A: The nonsensical bullshit spewing from half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin’s mouth when she’s invited to give her analysis of the President’s recent address to the nation on the BP oil spill.

Indeed, you’ve got to be pretty hopeless if you show up on O’Reilly’s program to slam the president and the host makes you look like an idiot by tossing you a few softball questions and watching as you swing wildly and strike on every one.

Palin begins her absurd denunciation of the president’s speech with a rambling disjointed and often contradictory series of thoughts that makes the typical Mad Lib seem a model of insight, clarity and coherence by comparison:

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“People seeking unemployment benefits or welfare would have to first pass a drug test under a proposal Sen. Orrin Hatch will try to add to legislation extending the social safety net during this time of economic turmoil.” [Salt Lake Tribune]

[ Comedy Central Flash video not available. ]

We’ve been promising for ages to work up a Bagram Post, always putting it off because (1) it’s complicated, (2) it depresses the hell out of us, (3) we don’t have a clever angle on it, and (4) we’d just end up copying and pasting giant clumps of Greenwald.

So we’d like to thank Jon Stewart’s industrious researchers for picking up our slack. Also, for reminding us about the candidate we voted for, rather than the president he became.

The dynasty, of course, is the nascent Alaskan redneck family tree that is the Palin-Johnston-probably everyone else in Wasilla who screws each other- power brokerage that’s been warming the cockles of Tea Party hearts ever since John McCain unleashed them on the political scene like a pack of rabid dogs, or a swarm of killer fucking bees, or some devilish conflation of the two.

Anyway, Us reports that a source close to Bristol [my guess is Trig] reports that “Now that Mama Palin is out of the picture and Bristol is on her own in Anchorage, they spend more time together than most people think.” See, Sarah’s too busy with her breast jobs and book tours and the making of the money and going rogue to helicopter this. Apparently, those claims that she was able to simultaneously be a capable mother of five and be a hard working governor were both false, since Palin appears to have failed in both. Read more »