An Evening with Bill O’Reilly and Sarah Palin (Oh, joy!)

Q: What’s thicker than the orange sludge that’s killing sea-life and washing up on Louisiana shores these days?

A: The nonsensical bullshit spewing from half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin’s mouth when she’s invited to give her analysis of the President’s recent address to the nation on the BP oil spill.

Indeed, you’ve got to be pretty hopeless if you show up on O’Reilly’s program to slam the president and the host makes you look like an idiot by tossing you a few softball questions and watching as you swing wildly and strike on every one.

Palin begins her absurd denunciation of the president’s speech with a rambling disjointed and often contradictory series of thoughts that makes the typical Mad Lib seem a model of insight, clarity and coherence by comparison:

“President Obama is wrong on his call for a need for energy policy, certainly we need that but he is wrong not to acknowledge that we still need, on a three legged stool conventional sources of energy to be drilled here, otherwise, Bill, we are going to be brought to our knees in bowing to the Saudis and Venezuela and places like Russia that will keep producing oil, Bill, and, uh, Petroleum products, and we will have to ask them to produce for us because we will still be dependent upon the sources of energy, in addition though to, ah, shifting more towards the renewables, that, of course we need, and uh, the other leg of that stool is conservation, President Obama, it scares me, it saddens me that the CEO of our nation does not understand that inherent link between the conventional sources of energy that we are dependent upon and our security and our prosperity, our freedom.”*

*Miss. Teen South Carolina is expected to file a copyright infringement claim soon. (Eds.)

O’Reilly, wisely, chooses not try to engage this verbal oil spill (probably scared that he’ll “own it” if he does) and instead asks Palin a series of probing questions like:

“What would you do tonight?”

Palin’s answer, that she would tell the American people that “stopping the gusher” was her number one priority, leaves a visibly perplexed O’Reilly scratching his head and pointing out that up to now the spill has resisted all attempts at a fix: “but nobody knows how to do it” O’Reilly objects. When Palin suggests that Obama could stop the spill if he wanted to, but would instead rather use the gusher to push a Cap and Trade bill through congress, O’Reilly interrupts incredulously “Are you telling me that you don’t think the president’s top priority is stopping that leak?”

Palin now appears shaken. Perhaps she has begun to grasp the stupidity of her bizarre and highly improbable conspiracy theory, perhaps she was not prepared to face a host on Fox who would actually challenge her to defend the peculiar claim. Whatever the reason, what comes next is even more absurd. O’Reilly asks Palin if she has a solution for stopping the spill. Her surprising answer surely couldn’t have pleased O’Reilly or the coterie of reflexively xenophobic America Firsters who form Palin’s natural base of support: “Well then what the Federal Government should have done is accept the assistance of foreign countries, of entrepreneurial Americans who have had solutions they wanted presented.”

Apparently, then, Obama is to be faulted for not asking the Dutch government to send crews to seal our well (after all, they build dikes and stuff in Holland!), and for not reaching out to enough wild-eyed inventors with ricketty, steam-powered contraptions rattling away in their garages, put together with bailing wire and duct tape and designed to perform a job that has eluded teams of Oil industry engineers equipped with the latest and greatest technology, including robot submersibles with diamond blade saws that can dive down 5000 feet below the surface of the ocean and withstand pressures no human piloted craft could endure.


The interview is worth watching in its entirety, if only to prepare ourselves for the absolute, complete, and irredeemable catastrophe that will sink our once proud nation shortly after Palin is sworn in as our 45th president, in January of 2012:

(via Andrew Sullivan)

(UPDATE:  Sarah Palin lied when she claimed that the U.S. had not responded to calls for international assistance, including from Holland)


Seems that Sarah Palin is the Deepwater Horizons of US America politics. No matter how much effort goes into closing the leak, the stupid still flows in greater and greater amounts.

can I just say, I really really hate those smile train pictures.
I was just on a site the had one on both sides and a banner.

I get its a good cause but I hate the pictures.

@Capt Howdy: I know. Between that and just about everything that’s been noted in Stinque posts today, I’m going to have to go look at pictures of kittens until the overwhelming urge to slice open a major artery subsides a bit.

@Capt Howdy:

I know what a badly cleft palate looks like. They got some of my money, but I don’t need to see the picture, thanks.

@Mistress Cynica: We misunderestimated Reagan and George W. Bush, too, the two guys most responsible for fucking up our country.

@Capt Howdy:

Oh sure, you labor for weeks putting together a youtube expose detailing the contamination of your city’s water supply by a detergent manufacturing plant and get 136 views. Meanwhile, some guy posts a video of a giggling baby being licked in the face by a sheltie and he gets ten billion views in the first three hours.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: The Navajo and Tohono O’odham tribal councils have both passed resolutions opposing the Fuck the Mexicans Act of 2010.

@Serolf Divad: We’re about twenty years too late for me to make a video of my Chevette being destroyed by the ex-GF’s sheltie.

@nojo: That dog did you a favor – that thing was a deathtrap.

And I think “lied” is a bit harsh for Sarah Snowbilly – in her world, Obama has to do the reverse of what was smart – no doubt she believes he ignored Norway. We knew everything Bush did was wrong, and we were right about 94 percent of the time. Conservatives “know” everything Obama does is wrong, and they’re right about 6 percent of the time.

I bet it was really cute while it was doing it tho.

should see my dogs. they are twins. some asshole groomer did a hack job on Daisy and she had to be trimmed so I had her make them look like twins.
except for the pom pom tail. that way I can tell them apart from the window.

The simple fact that she is on television, that her idiocy is being broadcast as if she is a person qualified to speak on any public policy topic whatsoever, fills me with deep despair.

Our country celebrates idiocy, seeks it out, and considers it a value now. I am convinced that Forrest Gump, the movie, was a psy-op operation, designed to convince the public that idiots are actually wise and smart, and we’d be better off if we listened to them, with the purpose of getting the public to accept complete moron puppets as political leaders, because these morons are more easily controlled by their corporate masters.


I hated that movie. It said that if you are a happy idiot and just follow real people around grinning in photo ops you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams, but if you are different and strike out on your own you get AIDS and die. The only things that even partly redeemed “Jenny” were the fact that she put out enough for Gump to fall in love and Haley Joel Osment in diapers, both of which, let’s face it, suck.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I loathe that movie, and I loathe Tom Hanks, who now seems to believe he is both and astronaut, and a D-Day veteran, with no apparent understanding of the way his roles have propagandized and supported conservatism. He seems a well-meaning, but fabulously pompous and unaware, human being.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: The incredible power of cinema in creating and perpetuating myths and propaganda, seems to be underappreciated. Reagan’s reign coincided with the popularity of hyper-violent, jingoistic, and ultimately, fascist movies put out by Eastwood, Schwarzenegger, and Stallone. Eastwood and Dirty Harry fostered a disrespect for the justice system and worship for the police, these movies condoned street justice, police brutality, and a disrespect for judges and the legal system, the justice system. Schwarzenegger and Stallone’s movies glorified violence, murder, torture, and xenophobic murderousness as the proper response to any conflict. The movies made from Tom Clancy’s novels glorified our military industrial state and the shiny, sexy, powerful weapons we spend our national treasure on, no matter how useless they really are. Military weapons-porn. Clancy was the propaganda arm of the defense-industrial complex, his works glorified nuclear submarines, aircraft carriers, spy satellites, each and every one of the most expensive shiny killing toys that we spend so many trillions of dollars on.

The supposedly “liberal” hollywood entertainment industry has done more than all the rhetoric of all the conservative politicians, to create popular support for an insanely bellicose foreign policy and insane defense spending.

@Promnight: Sorry, “Apollo 13” still gives me a cinematic woody (grew up near the launch sites in FL), and I confess to guilty obsession with Hanks’ whole WWII thing. The last episode of “The Pacific” redeemed itself of any other mawkish sentimentality, because it actually dealt with the post-traumatic issues of vets from that theater.

@Capt Howdy: Thanks for trying but you lose. One reason I prefer cats: for the most part, no earsplitting screechy sounds, especially if you have them fixed. I can barely pretend to find human babies cute in stills–if there’s sound, fugeddaboutit.

@Nabisco: Oh, bisco, we never explored this, I lived in Vero Beach, 40 miles south, and saw a hundred launches. Where were you, Satellite Beach?

@Promnight: Dirty Harry was Nixon era. I remember because Dad took me to see Magnum Force, and a topless woman got shot between the tits in the first scene.

Speaking of jiggles, may have just had one here. Or not. Close call.

That was Suzanne Sommers.

And Magnum Force was supposed to be a counter point to vigilantism of Dirty Harry.

As for Clancy, I read him a lot as a teenager as I read Fleming. Fueled my latent neo-con tardism. I guess I evolved. Hell I even loved Top Gun. I grew tired of Clancy when he started buying into the idea that the USAF could win wars by themselves. Ironically, his books stopped really selling when he said that Iraq was a bad idea.

What really annoys me is how everyone seems to think that being a spy is glamorous. Including Alias and La Femme Nikita and especially 24. Just reading what real spies have done was enough to keep me from even considering a life as a career spy. Instead we have idiots who firmly believe that AQ can be stopped by James Fucking Bond.

The problem is that people don’t want to believe anything but that the good guys are pure and that gold plated pieces of crap from the MICC are worth 2x their weight in gold. Hell I did.

@ManchuCandidate: When you’re 14, you miss the subtleties.

My dad was one of those parents who took us kids to movies that weren’t exactly age appropriate.

He took a friend of mine and I to see the gawdawful SF film, Saturn 3 when I was 9 or 10. We would have gotten away with it too if my friend could shut up about seeing Farah Fawcett’s boobs. He didn’t and my mom was not happy with either dad or I.

@ManchuCandidate: Dad wouldn’t take me to The Exorcist, but he let me read the book. I treasure the crucifix-thrusting scene (page 214) to this day.

@Promnight: Bingo. Just a few years, but impressionable ones. Batman, the Monkees and Mercury launches.

@nojo: Folks took NabiscoBros (or allowed them to go) to “Midnight Cowboy”, best I got were the bikini babes in Bond movies and, um, the female human in Planet of the Apes.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg:
tommie sweetheart…i is here! i commented yesterday on a few posts, after a self imposed time out. (SFL said no one puts baked in the corner)
so i’m back!
it’s 5:30 am and i get a little play time before baby monster wakes up and monopolizes my day. i’ve been passing out on my jon, training a pup is HARD. i’m afraid she will grow too big to pick up before she’s house trained–so i’m on a serious mission.
how is Thor?
and apologies to howdy..i referred to lucy as zoe. lucy being the latest addition.
i was only gone a few days, yet missed you all terribly. in one week i freaked at my dad, my daughter, and the stepmonster is finally on my list of idiots i don’t ever have to speak to again. i was afraid that i also carried on here, under a little stress tommiecatt…and what else is new.

“your mother sucks cock in hell !!!” was always my fave. the book scared me much more than the movie, well done as it was.

@baked: Best line in the movies. I didn’t read the book but I do think the movie is very well done.

@nojo: When it comes to Clancy, you miss the absence of subtelties.

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