Title: “The Secret Knowledge: On the Dismantling of American Culture”

Author: David Mamet

Rank: 60

Blurb: “My interest in politics began when I noticed that I acted differently than I spoke, that I had seen ‘the government’ commit sixty years of fairly unrelieved and catastrophic error nationally and internationally, that I not only hated every wasted hard-earned cent I spent in taxes, but the trauma and misery they produced.”

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Dear Senator Johnny,

So it’s come to this! I’m writing as someone who donated money to your campaign and was really hoping you were going to win the nomination so you could restore integrity to the White House. But no such luck.

I am not one of those haterz blaming you for what is obviously not your fault. Clearly that space alien is to blame for the pickle you now find yourself in. Your only crime was to be too handsome. By the way, speaking of space aliens, to judge by her teeth she looks like a ‘scraper’ to me, in those intimate moments when a man needs a safe and welcoming place—if you know what I mean.

But as we all know, life isn’t fair, which is why she gets to rub Tiger Balm into your shoulders after a particularly grueling workout and all I got was a restraining order. Not that I blame you for that for one moment. I know it was the work of that bossy bottom you had running your campaign who was like totally jealous and a bitch. Not that I’m at all surprised that working at your side, bringing you coffee in the morning as you wake up, your hair still rumpled and your sheets smelling of hay and sun-warmed apples, rubbing sleep from your eyes, your lips moist, your pajama bottoms, damp with sweat, only just managing to cling to your hips… I’m not at all surprised that such a close working relationship would inspire a fierce devotion bordering, one might almost say, on obsession. Not surprised at all.

Speaking of workouts, I’d like to explain the reason for this letter.

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Rose to prominence as a Kissinger deputy:

Lawrence S. Eagleburger, a troubleshooting diplomat and senior foreign policy adviser to presidents who served the country for more than 40 years, including 42 days as secretary of state at the close of President George H. W. Bush’s term, died on Saturday in Charlottesville, Va. He was 80.

I recall that, days after the towers came down, he jovially said New York City was “not the sort of place” he liked to spend time. Taken in context, his comments made it clear there weren’t enough white people here for him.

Fuck you Larry. Fuck you and all your GOP buddies grown fat and rich off our taxes.

Example #1: Joe Lieberman, vice-presidential candidate, 2000.

Example #2: John Edwards, vice-presidential candidate, 2004.

Class dismissed.

After a chase involving a helicopter, Santa Ana police arrested two men and a kid who allegedly stole money from a tip jar in a Costa Mesa Starbucks.

I will never understand the SoCal obsession with police helicopter chases. Nor why the po-po fixate on a few punks stealing 20 bucks instead of  the hedge fund managers in Newport Beach ripping off billions.

In any event, I couldn’t decide which illustration to use for this post, so I’ll put up both. Vote for your favorite in the comments.

[LAT]

We’ve been sitting out today’s Palin Feeding Frenzy because we’re unsure about the quality of the meal. But if you’d like to taste it yourself, here’s what she said yesterday about Our Nation’s Founding Cookware Manufacturer:

He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed.

Of course, Paul Revere didn’t warn the British — he warned the colonists about the British. And so, to quote Current TV’s new spokesblowhard, “That woman is an idiot.”

Except we like our Idiots to be a clean kill, and Palin’s message is so garbled, she may very well have been trying to say the right thing, but it just came out wrong. In our exacting editorial judgment, this doesn’t meet the high standards of “In what respect, Charlie?” and “[I read] all of them.” But you’re welcome to differ, because this is a Free Country, and we’re pretty sure you’re armed.

Sarah Palin’s History Lesson: Paul Revere Warned The British [ThinkProgress]