The Finer Things in Life

One of the great shames of our unfortunate era is that amidst the horror, the suffering, the mendacity, the sheer chaos of it all, we have not found the time to appreciate perhaps the greatest political sex scandal ever to grace Our Exceptional Republic.

Let us now rectify that.

Longtime prisoners of this audience may recall our contemporary fascination with Stormy Daniels, a spunky dame who took on David Vitter in Louisiana, and whose c.v. was heavy on the v. It was a tribute to our robust democracy that a strong-willed woman, with nothing but the clothes off her backside, could aspire to one of the highest offices in the land.

And there we left her, forever emblazoned upon our fertile memory, until a week ago, when she returned for a curtain call in the national spotlight. For her service to America was not finished, her page in history not yet complete.

Stormy Daniels had fucked Donald Trump, and a universe was born.

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HEALTH INSPECTORS: Mar-a-Lago Is a Ghastly Emetogenic SHITHOLE!

Call It Mar-a-Shithole!

TRUMPLIGULA!’s rancid Florida club for senescent racketeers, gangsters, wannabe society page characters and, of course, rich ASSHOLE!s has again been cited by building inspectors for failure to maintain a hospitality facility that is less-than-lethal.

Last year, The so-called Winter White House of The Bride of Putin was found to be serving rotting food from its alleged restaurant, dishing out heinous ooze that could kill even the hideous ghouls that frequent the repulsive shithouse.

The Miami Herald is reporting today: Mar-a-SHITHOLE! was cited Nov. 8 for two violations deemed high priority: the lack of smoke detectors capable of alerting the hearing impaired through flashing bright lights; and slabs of concrete missing from a staircase, exposing steel rebar that could cause someone to fall.

This is what you get when you drop $200,000 to be a member of the Mar-a-SHITHOLE! club:

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Meme of the 21st Century:


Nuke alarms, presidents shrieking SIEG! HEIL! in rallies and in the loo, executive compensation running in excess of the GDP of most developed countries, the nation’s elections and president controlled by a fleabag, failed empire’s racketeer-in-chief, the complete shithouse of the AMERICA!n experience in the late 20th and early 21st Century can be wrapped up in one quick declarative assertion within the capacity of the current president to articulate:


Slouching Towards Bedlam

As the news broke, the news that wasn’t news, the news everyone already knew, the news that dog bites man, CNN’s White House correspondent walked up to the camera and delivered it to the nation as gravely as Cronkite announcing Dallas.

“I think, Wolf, what we have to come to grips with, and I almost have to think back to the day we were at Trump Tower, when the President was commenting on Charlottesville, and he was saying that there were very fine people on both sides, saying that there were very fine people among the white supremacists and the Nazis, is that the President of the United States just seems to have a problem here, Wolf, in this area. And we can tiptoe around it, we can dance around it, and not really put our finger on it, but the President seems to harbor racist feelings about people of color. From other parts of the world.”

The flash, apparently official: President Trump is racist.

No shithole, Sherlock.

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All the Air in the Room

Did we actually have a week off from him?

We think we did. Pretty sure, come to think of it. That week between the holidays, when he wasn’t incessantly demanding our attention.

Felt great! And man, did we pay for it when he got back.

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Days of Futures Past

We grew up in a time of great dystopian movies. Beginning with Dr. Strangelove and ending around Brazil, there’s a twenty-year run of gloom that perfectly syncs with our formative years. We may joke about still waiting for flying cars, but the future we anticipated was found in the theater, not in cartoons.

The wallpaper of our childhood was Vietnam and Nixon; gas shortages taught us that conditions could turn on a dime. Speaking of which, comic books cost twelve cents when we started buying them; they were a quarter when we stopped paying attention.

And yet we never felt as hopeless as we do today.

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Rose Marie (1923-2017)