We enjoyed as much as anyone the recent spate of satiric penis-regulation bills, concocted (ahem) in response to the recent spate of all-too-nonsatiric vaginal-ultrasound bills. But we have to give the award to the first Mommy Wars bill in the nation:

Under current law, raising children does not count toward the required “work activity” that must be performed by recipients of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, the federal program that emerged from the 1996 welfare reform. Some states make an exception for mothers with children less than a year old.

The Women’s Option to Raise Kids (WORK) Act, a copy of which was provided to HuffPost in advance of its introduction, would allow mothers with children ages 3 and under to stay at home with their children and continue receiving benefits.

The act is a response to Mitt Romney, who knows the value of wealthy white Mormon mothers, but considers non-horsey poor moms a bunch of deadbeat slackers who don’t understand the “dignity of work” because they can’t afford live-in nannies to demonstrate it for them.

Credit goes to John Lewis, Gwen Moore, Barbara Lee, Jim McDermott, Lynn Woolsey, Jan Schakowsky and Rosa DeLauro, who will introduce the bill in the House. Demerits go to HuffPo, for not posting the draft bill itself, and for insisting on calling itself “HuffPost”.

Image: 52 Job Titles A Mom Holds [Life Without Pink]

“Seniors love getting junk mail. It’s sometimes their only way of communicating or feeling like they’re part of the real world.” —Harry Reid, arguing in favor of a Postal Service reform bill on the Senate floor. [The Hill]

TV legend Dick Clark dies at age 82 [USA Today]

“I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy).” —Barack Obama in Dreams from My Father, which is now being used as Seamus-bait. [Daily Caller]

“We actually have heard from the Secret Service and they have a duty. I support them. I salute them. And I look forward to our meeting tomorrow. I‘m sure we’ll have a great conversation.” —Ted Nugent, speaking to Glenn Beck. [The Blaze, via TPM]

Apparently Gawker is changing its commenting system. Again. We know this, not because we read Gawker — it’s been a few years — but because the news reached some distant source that we follow these days.

So we dropped in to sample the anguished cries of the herd. Nothing worth compiling a list from, but the usual bewailing of Denton selling out because Gawker no longer publishes the linkbait that originally drew the reader to the site, and now publishes lesser-quality linkbait. None of which we recognized, because we were drawn to the high-quality linkbait that Gawker dumped in order to publish the utter crap that attracted its current readership.

And we had a star, muthafuckaz. Back when it meant something.

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What Ted Nugent said: “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

What New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “So … Ted Nugent Threatened to Assassinate President Obama?”

What the Secret Service said to New York magazine about what New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “We are aware of it, and we’ll conduct an appropriate follow up.”

What ThinkProgress said the Secret Service said to New York magazine about what New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “The Secret Service Says They Are Investigating Ted Nugent’s Threatening Remarks Toward Obama”

What we said: Jesus Christ, folks, it’s only April.