Holy Shit! Man Walks on Fucking Moon! [The Onion]
Our guest columnist is Nixon speechwriter William Safire, preparing a worst-case presidential statement for July 20, 1969.
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.
Little kid me wanted to be him … watched him take that step live. In many ways he was still the most famous man in the world.
A new statue in Zhengzhou, China, depicts a young pig giving his mother a back massage, teaching Chinese children an important lesson in the value of keeping a straight face.
[via Sully]
Our guest columnist is Pat Rogers, National Committeeman of the Republican Party of New Mexico.
Sent: Friday, June 08, 2012, 7:17 AM
From: Patrick J. Rogers
Subject: FW: New Mexico governor meets with American Indian leaders in tribal-state summit
Quislings, French surrender monkeys, secret supporters (all along) of JAJ.
The state is going to hell. Col. Weh would not have dishonored Col. Custer in this manner.
I hope who ever recommended this is required to read the entire redist transcript and sit through the entire meeting with the Gov.
Footnotes:
Mitt in Michigan: “I love being home, in this place where Ann and I were raised, where the both of us were born. No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place where we were born and raised.” [TPM]
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.