https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-gW6AdzgwU

Holy Shit! Man Walks on Fucking Moon! [The Onion]

Our guest columnist is Nixon speechwriter William Safire, preparing a worst-case presidential statement for July 20, 1969.

Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.

These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.

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Little kid me wanted to be him … watched him take that step live. In many ways he was still the most famous man in the world.

A new statue in Zhengzhou, China, depicts a young pig giving his mother a back massage, teaching Chinese children an important lesson in the value of keeping a straight face.

[via Sully]

Our guest columnist is Pat Rogers, National Committeeman of the Republican Party of New Mexico.

Sent: Friday, June 08, 2012, 7:17 AM
From: Patrick J. Rogers
Subject: FW: New Mexico governor meets with American Indian leaders in tribal-state summit

Quislings, French surrender monkeys, secret supporters (all along) of JAJ.

The state is going to hell. Col. Weh would not have dishonored Col. Custer in this manner.

I hope who ever recommended this is required to read the entire redist transcript and sit through the entire meeting with the Gov.

Footnotes:

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Mitt in Michigan: “I love being home, in this place where Ann and I were raised, where the both of us were born. No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place where we were born and raised.” [TPM]