Our guest columnist challenges you to read its entire press release without snorting coffee.

A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable, says Britain’s National Pig Association. But British supermarkets can protect consumers from shortages and steep price rises if they pay Britain’s loss-making pig farmers a fair price, to help them remain in production.

New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests.

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“William Everitt, vice president of Investment Real Estate Associates (IREA), told TheBlaze that he was at the Romney fundraiser in Beverly Hills on Saturday. He said Romney was absolutely joking when he said he doesn‘t know why airplane windows don’t open.” [The Blaze]

Jeremy Clarkson explains why you’re probably driving a Honda or a Toyota (guessing 1999 or 2000 vintage):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTSXDcuQdBc

And now Part 2:
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“Mitt Romney’s campaign on Monday said it would debut a new ‘change in message’…” [The Hill]

Vogue: “In the September profile of Chelsea Clinton, ‘Waiting in the Wings,’ by Jonathan Van Meter, Dan Baer was mistakenly identified as an interior designer. He is a deputy assistant secretary for the Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights, and Labor at the U.S. Department of State.” [HuffPo, via @anamariecox]

Our guest columnist is a globetrotting businessman who dabbles in politics.

I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were. When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.

Mitt Romney pulls in $6 million at Beverly Hills fundraiser [LAT]

Title: “DemoCRIPS and ReBLOODlicans: No More Gangs in Government”

Authors: Jesse Ventura and Dick Russell

Rank: 94

Blurb: “Exposing the ineptitude and gang-like mentalities of both parties, Ventura advocates the replacement of the two-party system with a no-party system based on the ideals of our Founding Fathers.”

Review That Ignores the Entire History of Wingnut Publishing: “It’s never popular to come out and say that things stink.”

Customers Also Bought: “Where Did the Towers Go? Evidence of Directed Free-energy Technology on 9/11”

Footnote: The ideals of our Founding Fathers lasted for exactly two elections.

DemoCRIPS and ReBLOODlicans [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]