Well, you know, Wally, I got very nervous, you know, and I said: “Well, what is a beehive?” He said: “Well, a beehive is at eight o’clock a hundred strangers come into a room.” And I said: “Yes?” And he said: “Yes, and whatever happens is a beehive.” And I said: “Yes, but what am I supposed to do?” He said: “That’s up to you.”

Horses and Bayonets [Tumblr]

America has spoken: Rowdy debates are a lot more fun than Dignified Discourse On the Pressing Issues of the Day. And as we nuke our popcorn in preparation for tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Closed Fists, we have just one thought: An empty chair is no good unless thrown.

So we’re in Riverside Saturday night for an art opening (next door to the museum where Our Beloved Hamster was photographed), and after everybody’s done celebrating The Artist (and — ahem — his Book Designer, whom The Artist christened “Norwegian Jim” many years ago, which was quickly shortened to “Nojo”), the crew heads down the block to the Mission Inn, a swanky pile that was the destination back in the day when Angelinos took the train east to feel good about their wealth.

We’ve gotten shitfaced at the Mission Inn before, but it had been a dozen years, and we completely forgot about the exclusive Presidential Lounge, where, it is told, if you take in more than you can handle, Richard Nixon’s eyes start following you around the room.

Will Gloria Allred finally do something that earns her our respect?

The Republican party is bracing itself – and preparing to fight back – against Gloria Allred‘s rumored “October Surprise” on Republican presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“We’re doing too well to risk ‘an Allred,’ she can be stopped, but it will take action on our behalf,” a GOP watchdog group blogged, asking supporters to contact Romney’s campaign headquarters, the Republican National Committee and Judicial Watch.

However, Drudge is the source, so this might be a bunch of shite:

Read more »

Things would have been so different …

Title: “Land of the Pilgrims’ Pride”

Authors: Callista Gingrich and Susan Arciero

Rank: 59

Blurb: “In the New York Times bestseller, Sweet Land of Liberty, Ellis the Elephant sets off on a quest to find out how America became a free and exceptional nation. Now Ellis is back and ready to learn about the birth of our great nation in Land of the Pilgrims’ Pride.”

Review: “Anyone with an unrealistic fantasy about what information a child’s book should contain should return to their county of origin. Where, they can feel more comfortable with the large amount of child abuse and neglect present in society.”

Customers Also Bought: “America : A Patriotic Primer” by Lynne Cheney, “Dubs Goes to Washington: And Discovers the Greatness of America” by Dick Morris, “The Children’s Book of Heroes” by William J. Bennett, “Can’t Wait Till Christmas” by Mike Huckabee, and “Kids Are Americans Too” by Bill O’Reilly.

Footnote: Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you a lifetime of therapy.

Land of the Pilgrims’ Pride [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

At least this one went into space: