Shove Connection

America has spoken: Rowdy debates are a lot more fun than Dignified Discourse On the Pressing Issues of the Day. And as we nuke our popcorn in preparation for tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Closed Fists, we have just one thought: An empty chair is no good unless thrown.

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This is the last of — what? — eighteen months of debates? I’d look it up, but I don’t want to frighten myself.

I’m going to miss the last half of “Hachi” for this.

Happy Cuban Missile Crisis, everybody!

I wanna see Mitt identify Mideast countries on a map.

So far, a kinder gentler debate.

Mitt: My strategy is to wear a big white cowboy hat.

Yes. “Go after the bad guys.” That’s a plan.

“The 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back.” Zing!

Mitt is turning red. He’s getting pissed off for getting called out as a flip-flopper by Obama.

Mitts out to an early lead, but showing signs of overheating, already.

Here we go. Thought they’d be calm for a moment.

I’ve counted Obama calling Mitt an amateur twice so far.

Mitt is getting close to “thousand points of light” territory with his list of things to do about that pesky Assad.

@nojo:

Barry ain’t gonna let Mitt turn this debate into a big hold hands and sing Kumbaya party, is he?

Barry badass… that’s my new name for Obama.

Romney isn’t going to commit to anything. He looks weak.

Obama does this thing when Romney is speaking where he looks at Romney, looks into the camera, smirks just the teeniest bit, looks back at Romney, and then settles into a “Can you believe this idiot?” expression. Love it.

How did giving arms to Bin Laden work out?

I’m convinced that the guy we saw during the first debate was an impostor. Obama refused to have Michelle spend their anniversary at a political debate, so he had a guy who looks like him stand in and “mostly just keep your mouth shut” while he and Michelle enjoyed a nice, quiet, intimate dinner.

@Serolf Divad: He was doing the Rope-a-Dope at the first debate.

Pretty clear that Romney realizes that it’s impossible for a neo-conservative to to be elected President of the United States of America.

Where the heck did Romney come up with this “42 allies” thing? Exactly 42… really?

Is there some condiment or sauce I’m unaware of whose bottle features that number?

I am watching a bad british horror movie.

Let me know if Bammerz wins, okay?

Woah, Romney hijacked some of Obama’s talking points from the second debate.

“What do you see as our role in the world” is a sorry waste of a question.

The other 38 allies are PISSED!

I’m not sure about this “wrong and reckless” line.

Do we drink for Cheney mention? My Seagram’s Extra dry gin is tasty tonight.

Also, it’s the foreign policy debate — stop talking about jobs!

@Targa: that presumes that this ends with Barry standing over Mitt, bleeding on the mat. I don’t see it.

Did Romney just imply that he’s going to make Spanish the official language?

Would somebody please take an axe to Mitt’s stump speech?

Per CNN’s dial testing, undecided voters aren’t buying what Mitt’s selling in terms of how he’s going to cut spending.

Mitt cutting spending means cutting assistance programs that the lazy shiftless no good leaching 47% rely on to supplement their existence. States can get away with it better than the Feds, that’s why he will do it. Kinda Jim Crowish. Probably.

@Serolf Divad: he wants to take care of his 50 favorite grandfathers in Mexico.

Obama’s letting a lot of Mitt’s bullshit pass unchallenged.

@nojo: The horses and bayonets line was a serviceable retort.

It’s not a game of Battleship. It’s Monopoly™ and Operation™, with a touch of Mystery Date™ for the replacement regimes in the Mideast.

That “Battleship” line went better during Foreign Correspondents Dinner Prep.

@Targa: And what about Risk? Occupy Kamchatka!

@nojo: I shoulda said Risk. I almost said Pachisi.

7 steps.
5 point plan.
4 pipes a laying.
3 ships a sailing.
2 eyes a bulging.
Oooooone World Order……

Romney’s going to institute charges of genocide against Akhmdinejad based on something he said? Way to completely de-legitimize the International Criminal Court.

@nojo:

That’s just because there’s so much of it you’ve got to pick and choose.

Actually, I’m pretty amazed at how much Romney is saying he agrees with Obama’s foreign policy. Jennifer Rubin’s head must be exploding.

@Serolf Divad: not to mention cheapening the Geneva Conventions, and the First Amendment.

ADD: didn’t someone have “apology tour”? Drink!

Oh, that’s it. The gloves are off now. Apology tour? Really? That’s Tea Bagger territory.

Good grief.

“From the very beginning, one of the challenges we’ve had with Iran” was installing a dictator.

Alert Benedick: Romney likes ’em tight and hard.

Is “You skipped Israel” this year’s “You forgot Poland”?

Is Romney looking more Beef Steak or Roma tomato?

@mellbell: wasn’t that also the name of Sting’s last global a go go?

@Targa: Mitt keeps leaning closer to the split screen.

Between this exchange and the Benghazi moment in the last debate I get the feeling that Obama has a righteous indignation on/off switch.

Obama just crushed Mitt Romney on the Israel thing.

Now, by “foreign policy” we mean the Middle East, correct? Because I’m still waiting to hear about any other country. I guess nothing’s going on in the Sudan this week.

Women like this 9/11 anecdote. Men not so much.

Romney has that “I love my granddaughter but do I really have to stay for the entire third grade strings recital?” Look on his face.

Is this a rout for Romney? Is Scheifer worse than Lehrer? Am I overreacting?

@Benedick: Schieffer certainly has more control of the debate than Lehrer did, but he probably won’t smack down Romney like Crowley did.

When did Mitt become Obama’s Afghanistan spokesman?

So far my bottle of gin is better than this debate. Second debate was better. Less anecdotes, more vitriol.

Less Anecdotes More Vitriol is the name of my next album.

@nojo: exactly. SecState is his “safe school”.

I don’t believe Romney really has a working or hypothetical foreign policy. He’s just saying stuff he thinks we want to hear. He’s going to focus on the bull crap going on here in the states and ignore the rest of the world. His policy will be praying at the altar of Bush and Cheney and just put boots on the ground.

Instead of Doubling Guantanamo, Mitt wants to Double Obama.

@Targa: Mitt sounds incrementally better than Ryan after studying the same cramming books.

@nojo: Exactly! They even have the same practiced head tilt smirk feigning passionate interest.

@mellbell: Heroin. It’s my wife, and it’s my life.

I think Obama wins on dignified tie.
Schieffer’s tie betrays his dignity… in 1983.

The gin is kicking in.

I love American cars. I drive a BMW.

Whenever Mitt “loves” something, imagine Michael kissing Fredo.

@Targa: Mitt’s wearing the British west-to-east stripe again. Why does he hate America?

ADD: we are not better off now than we were four years ago, we just use #hashtags now.

I think Romney just became Reagan. OK. Reagan Lite. Who knew such a thing was possible.

Re: Schiffer. Could someone replace our regular moderator with Lewis Black?

Mitt is lying in his closing statement: He turned beet red at the last two sentences.

@Benedick: I was thinking the same thing. Seriously.

Is Tagg going to punch the President?

@Beggars Biscuit: I didn’t know that was a thing until the haberdasher on The Daily Show told me so.

@Targa: Mitt’s Tell is opening his mouth.

@Targa: Actually, Barry is working the Romney rope line. Did anyone else see Mitt go kind of passive-aggro with Ann and a punch on the arm?

Tweety is going off.

Greatness. Exasperating. But great, nonetheless.

Michelle definitely wins on the style front. The ombre effect on Ann’s skirt is okay, but the top half of that dress is pure Christmas sweater.

Mitt is lying, he’s rambling, and he’s speaking at at grade school level. …because it worked so well for Saint Ronney and W.

@Beggars Biscuit: Rewinding. Saw him tap her elbow. Saw Tagg apologize to the Prez. And saw some flower print dresses that should have stayed on a hanger. I’m a graphic designer, I see shit like that.

@mellbell: You think I knew that before?? I’m lucky if I remember to wear brown socks with my brown Oxfords, but never with blue slacks – right Benedick?

A t-shirt and sweatpants is so much easier…

And now, an ass kissing moment:
To Stinque. Thanks for these open threads. I enjoy these… probably too much.

I missed the whole damned thing, but I did have the great pleasure of spending some time with Lefty in a San Francisco dive bar.

@Dodgerblue: CNN is about to replay it, if you’re feeling left out.

@Dodgerblue:
Celebrating the Gnats win? Or is that unpossible considering your loyalties?

@nojo:

Bingo! You nailed it. Perfect summary of what we saw over the past three debates.

Thanks for the recap, kiddos.

@ManchuCandidate: We had a big breakthrough, when I asked him, Dodger confessed that he was rooting for Los Gigantes against the Angry Red Birds of Misery, and I don’t think he was just saying it to flatter me. The whole California/NL thing. Didn’t get to celebrate, it was at the beginning of the Giants game, before he had to go to a dinner engagement and I had to get to some work. The screaming and honking was still going strong in the pouring rain in most of Ess Eff half an hour after the game was won.

Myth Robme…i swear to god i’ll leave the country..oh, wait….
hi stinqueroonies! yes, i’m still here. thanks for the thread, it was all i could bear.

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