The teabaggers caved.

We still have a government. (Mostly).

And somewhat of an economy. (Mostly).

And Ted Cruz is still a douche. (Abso-fucking-lutely)

And John Boehner is still a spineless drunk. (Oh hayell yes).

Carry on, America and world. Nothing to see here.

What’s the over/under on the teabaggers starting impeachment proceedings by MLK Day?

Creamy!

As Washington approaches the official deadline for the default of our economy (the massive harm already inflicted will unfold over years and is well under way: Fitch has taken us off A rating to ‘Watch’) we have been alerted to the debate that cuts to the heart of our being.

Do we ‘come’ or do we, as I believe, ‘cum.’

Preference or grammar? Two sentences for your consideration:

A: ‘Did you come in those pants?’ As in, dude, what a fashion statement.

B: Did you cum in those pants? As in, dude, you’ll want to pre-soak.

The debate, masterfully handled by Mr. Dan Savage, rages in the comments at Savage Love. So far it seems that the ‘comers’ outnumber ‘cummers’. This to me is the okay/OK debate reignited. Brits tend to write OK (which I believe to be the correct form so case closed), Americans tend to prefer the pathetically flaccid ‘okay’.

To which I say: Where is the explosion in the word? Is it even a word or does it more properly denote an ejaculation? A verbal ‘cumming’ if you will.

Which returns us to ‘cum’. On Twitter: short is good. (This does not always apply to life.)

My money’s on cum. Pass the towel.

The Oldz had a high old time in DC last few days.

They raged at the president, they plotted against the president, they scoffed at the president, they raged at the president some more, then they raged at the president again, and in case anyone missed it, they raged at the president.

They hated on the uppity women, also on other kinds of folk who could might be described as being uppity, but most of all they hated on the Gays. They hated on the Gays and hated on the Gays. And then in case anyone thought they were gay they hated on the Gays some more.

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Title: “The Romney Family Table: Sharing Home-Cooked Recipes & Favorite Traditions”

Author: Ann Romney

Rank: 61

Blurb: “Pull up a chair as Ann Romney invites you into her home and kitchen, combining some of her favorite foods with memories of raising five boys (such as coming home to find her young son completely covered in Marshmallow Fluff).”

Review: “All proceeds go to hospials (rather than Socialism medicine forced on the masses but not taken by those forcing it on us.)”

Customers Also Bought: “Home for the Holidays” by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and “Closer To The Truth” by Cher

Footnote: Don’t ask what’s in Mitt’s Meatloaf.

The Romney Family Table [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

In more ways than one:

“I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: ‘Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'” his undergrad roommate at Princeton Craig Mazin told the Daily Beast over the summer. (“I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone,” Mazin added. “I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”)

But Ted won the Values Voters straw poll! Suppose the Values Voters were standing upwind.

Ted Cruz Was a Terrible, Smelly Roommate [NYMag Daily Intelligencer]

It isn’t a hybrid. It isn’t wheelchair accessible. It certainly isn’t pretty.

And now it isn’t going to happen:

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Proving yet again their hypocrisy and fixation for the pre-born over the born, a week before the government shutdown the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops sent a letter to Congress urging them to include the revocation of contraceptive coverage in the Affordable Care Act as one of the Republicans’ hostage demands over the shutdown and raising the debt ceiling.

As Congress considers a Continuing Resolution and debt ceiling bill in the days to come, we reaffirm the vital importance of incorporating the policy of this bill into such “must-pass” legislation.

(emphasis theirs)

I guess it’s okay that the 53% of LIVING American babies who receive benefits from the Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants & Children (WIC) will go without assistance ($109 million in unpaid vouchers as of this morning); that Head Start programs close their doors for early-childhood programs; that VA employees are being worked like rented mules to get benefits out the door for disabled veterans, and there aren’t benefits being paid to survivors of dead soldiers; that NIH and NSF have had to cut off funding for scientific researchers that can stop illnesses and prolong lives; that the CDC has food inspectors furloughed so nobody is around to investigate salmonella outbreaks affecting people in 20 states; or that money from HUD to assist in funding affordable housing will dry up if this lasts much longer.

The important thing is that the church make sure those uppity whores who dare to have sex for any reason than to have a baby not have access to birth control.