We really don’t care where LeBron James went, or what means he used to announce his decision.

On the other hand, the means — and font — used by his former employer to bitch about him merits notice.

Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert [NBA]

It’s not quite tentacle porn, but as predicted by Paul the Psychic German Octopus, Spain beat Germany in today’s World Cup action.

So your team just lost the quarterfinal of the World Cup, what do you do?

If you’re German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger (say that one three times fast), you cry, then like a man, dry your tears and take off your shirt to win Stinque’s World Cup Hottie of the Day award!

The tears:

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In today’s quarterfinal action of the World Cup, Holland beat Uruguay 3-2. Today’s World Cup Hottie wins Stinque’s title for being a bad ass who wasn’t faking an injury, namely, he got kicked in the face and briefly passed out. Luckily, X-rays show that Holland’s Demy de Zeeuw did not break his jaw, but it did put a scare into the Oranje.

Holland will play the winner of tomorrow’s Spain v. Germany match for the championship on Sunday.  Uruguay will play the loser of tomorrow’s match on Saturday for the third place prize.

Sadly, no Japanese tentacle porn, but miscellaneous Dutch man-love and female fans after the jump.

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Today the much vaunted Mengele Bowl (HT: Dodger) occurred at the World Cup between Germany and Argentina, but apparently Argentina failed to appear for the game, as there’s no other way to explain their 4-0 shellacking.

Or maybe tonight’s World Cup Hottie, Lukas Podolski, had something to do with the German victory. A fantastic player, named Man of the Match by FIFA, he didn’t score but he was a key player in the midfield helping Germany capitalize upon their strong defense and translate it into goals.

And he likes to wax his body. Apparently a lot.

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Earlier today Nojo shared with us the news that 26% of Americans do not know that the US declared independence from England – I was surprised the number was so low.

Similarly, I’d be surprised if one in ten Americans could locate Uruguay on a world map, let alone properly spell or pronounce the name of the country of 3 million. I can attest it’s a great country with beautiful beaches off the beaten path.

Our World Cup Hottie, Andres Scotti, might at least get some of the world population paying more attention to the small South American country.

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So it’s come to this. The moment for which you’ve worked your whole life.  You’re representing your country at the World Cup, have exceeded expectations for your team and survived to the elimination round of 16. Your team battles a better South American team to a nil-nil tie after regular time, and play an additional 30 minutes.  Still nil-nil, so the only way to settle the game is with penalty kicks.

The other team goes first. They score on your goalie. Your teammate takes a kick and scores on their goalie. And so it goes until the bottom of the third set when it’s your turn.

You’re a defensive player, and you’ve never scored a goal in your career but your coach told you to go take the shot. You line up the ball. You ask the spirit of your grandparents to watch over you. And then you take the shot…

…and you hit the crossbar and the ball doesn’t go in. Your team loses because of your missed shot.

There is no reason to go on with life. The shame, the embarrassment, the dishonor to your country. What can give you reason to go on living?

Yuichi Komano of Japan, come on down because you are the Stinque World Cup Hottie of the Day!

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Today in World Cup Hottie and soccer game action, Brazil stomped on Chile, winning by 3-0, and advanced to play Holland, which earlier in the day defeated Slovakia by a score of 2-1.

Brazil and the Netherlands will now face each other in the quarterfinals on July 2. The two national teams play very different styles of soccer, each reflecting their country’s stereotypical character.  The Dutch are methodical, masters of incredible technical skills, and work together as a solid team. The Brazilians are beautiful to watch, but are a collection of individual personalities and egos, and when they choose to do so their games can be a transcendent ballet of athletic skill and grace.

It will be a game worth watching, as will be tomorrow’s Iberian Peninsula grudge match of Spain v. Portugal, featuring the hottie match up of nekkid Spaniard Sergio Ramos and hot goalie Iker Casillas v. Cristiano Ronaldo. If Spain loses, that means no more Spanish reporter Sara Pastasauce for the str8 boys.

But on to Hotties. So meet the Brazilians. And like all good Brazilian players, almost all of them go by just one name.

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