Security Theater

TSA agents at LaGuardia were spotted last Friday giving the “Full Monty Patdown” (whatever the fuck that means) to notorious war criminal Henry Kissinger, as he sat in a wheelchair at security. Apparently none of the 9 buck an hour rent-a-cops recognized him or knew who he was, even after he told them who he was.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HHHHAAAAA!

It won’t make up for the thousands murdered in Cambodia, Vietnam, or Chile, but it’s a start.

[WaPo: Henry Kissinger Gets TSA Pat-Down]

Criminally negligent TSA agents seized an alleged cupcake bomb from Massachusetts college lecturer Rebecca Hains on Christmas Eve at a Las Vegas airport and, as of last night, no one at the agency has been able to produce a record of the disposition of the purportedly fatal confection.

No one knows if the alleged cupcake bomb was taken to a remote location and detonated, if it was tested for explosives or if it was possibly mislaid and intercepted by persons unknown with no appreciation of the destructive potential of this alleged ordnance.

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Their stock prices must be going through the roof, what with all the police departments using up their supplies of pepper spray.  Yesterday, it was the turn of the campus police at UC Davis to have the moment:

Maybe the cops across the country should use water cannons and German shepherds on protesters.

UPDATE:  After the jump, photos taken from another angle. Turns out that two of the students were taken to the hospital for chemical burns.

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Jesus Christ, if the po-po are doing this in Portland, and the cops are gassing the pregnant and elderly in Seattle, I hate to think how the cops are breaking up Occupy Atlanta or Occupy Birmingham protesters.

Gee, it all seems oddly coordinated among all these police departments.

[LAT]

“New rules allow investigators to hold domestic-terror suspects longer than others without giving them a Miranda warning, significantly expanding exceptions to the instructions that have governed the handling of criminal suspects for more than four decades.” [WSJ, via Raw Story]

Near as we can tell, the FBI caught a real live terrorist this time:

The affidavit alleges that on Feb. 1, 2011, a chemical supplier reported to the FBI a suspicious attempted purchase of concentrated phenol by a man identifying himself as Khalid Aldawsari. According to the affidavit, phenol is a toxic chemical with legitimate uses, but can also be used to make the explosive trinitrophenol, also known as T.N.P., or picric acid. The affidavit alleges that other ingredients typically used with phenol to make picric acid, or T.N.P., are concentrated sulfuric and nitric acids.

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“A Baltimore man was arrested Wednesday in connection with a plot to blow up an Armed Forces recruiting center in Catonsville, Md… The law enforcement sources said the man was caught in an FBI sting operation similar to one in Portland, Oregon, which led to the arrest of 19-year-old Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a Somali-born U.S. citizen.” [TBD]