“I can’t imagine an atheist version of confession. What would it look like? How would it work, if you don’t think there’s any such thing as sin?”
Forgive me, God Particle, for I have Sinned.
It has been 54 years, seven months, and four days since my last Confession. Not counting that time I mistook you for Hendrix, and spilled the beans about my unhealthy obsession with Sigourney Weaver.
I have touched myself 32,540 times.