Dispatches From Hell

Sun Myung Moon, 1920-2012

Sun Myung Moon, self-proclaimed messiah who founded Unification Church, dies at age 92 [AP/WaPo]

Genuflect, Genuflect, Genuflect!…

The Rev. Benedict Groeschel, Catholic TV star, on the Priest’s Dilemma: “People have this picture in their minds of a person planning to — a psychopath. But that’s not the case. Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster — 14, 16, 18 — is the seducer.” [ABC, via TPM]

Wingnuts Achieve Inception on Legitimate Rape

Todd Akin:

I misspoke.

Dana Loesch:

Progressive backlash from Roman Polanski fans and deniers of Occupy rapes was immediate.

William A. Jacobson:

Dana Loesch was almost alone is saying, hold on a second, give the guy some time to clarify and don’t hold him to a standard Democrats are not held to until that clarification comes. Which it has. Loesch also pointed out that making a stupid statement is not the same as Claire McCaskill tanking the economy and voting for Obamacare.

Jim Hoft:

Yesterday Christian Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) misspoke on rape during an interview with liberal media host Charles Jaco. Akin immediately corrected himself.

Robert Stacy McCain:

It looks like the Left has another Alinsky Rule 12 play underway.

While I Bravely Proselytized in France and My Sons Bravely Campaigned for Me

Our guest columnist makes up in gall what he lacks in caffeine.

Friend,

As we gather to enjoy food and fireworks today, let us also take a moment to pay tribute to the patriots who signed the Declaration of Independence — and the brave men and women who have fought to protect our freedoms through every generation that has followed.

I’m incredibly grateful to be an American. And from now until November, my campaign will carry this simple but deeply patriotic message: America’s greatest days are still ahead.

Happy Fourth of July to you and your family.

Thanks,

Mitt Romney

P.S. Show us how you honor our most patriotic holiday. Download the With Mitt iPhone app here and tag your July 4th photos with #WithMitt and we’ll feature them on our site.

[via email]

Stinqopalypse!

Well, that only took two-and-a-half hours…

Server upgrades are not fun. And to make sure everybody Felt Our Pain, we tweeted the entire process. What? You weren’t paying attention? No matter. Here, let us rub your nose in it.

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Second Prize is Two Romney Half-Zip Sweatshirts

Among other things, our guest columnist doesn’t realize that the clever “.tt” domain is owned by Trinidad and Tobago, which we imagine is located somewhere in Amercia.

Friend,

Would you like to help send Mitt Romney to the White House without ever leaving your home and earn free Mitt gear, too? Our “Volunteer for Mitt” program is up and running for supporters who can spare a few minutes to make personal calls to other voters across the country.

To thank you for your hard work and support for Mitt, the campaign will be giving away thank you gifts based on the number of calls made between Monday, June 4th and Saturday, June 9th.

Incentives are the following:

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Mitt’s Strange Bedfellow

Our guest columnist invites you to fuck on its products.

The Trump Home Mattress Collection by Serta® – Affordable Luxury Comes Home™.

Trump is a name synonymous with the upscale lifestyle, superior quality and success of Donald Trump and the Trump empire. Now, you can enjoy Trump luxury at home with the Trump Home Mattress Collection.

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