Goodbye Civilized Life

Zsa Zsa Gabor died today, and we got to thinking how she was famous for being famous while we were growing up, and that it was sister Eva who starred in the absurdist masterpiece of our youth, and then we wondered whether Arrested Development creator Mitchell Hurwitz was a fan of Green Acres, so we went Googling for references, and then this happened.

We regret the error.


I notice he keeps kissing Megan Mullaly after the lights dim.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Speaking of whom, here’s what she said about the “Emmy Idol” spoof earlier this year:

“People ended up voting online or calling in their votes, so we ended up winning Emmy Idol. So the next day I was in my dressing room at Will & Grace and my phone rang and it was Donald Trump. …,” Mullally explained on the late-night show. “And he was like, ‘We really needed to win that.’ And [now] I’m thinking, ‘OK, if he needed to win Emmy Idol that bad, what must it be like now?’”

It’s like Elvis thinking he could smuggle drugs with Nixon’s FBI badge.

@nojo: I am sure that someone will be busted bringing in coke to the First Cokehead within 3 weeks. Query if this will be the pretense the Establishment Rethugs use for impeachment?

@SanFranLefty: So we’re looking at a race between impeachment and the 25th amendment.

Impeachment is off the table while the Establishment is scared shitless of the Angry Mob. But golly, that poor man could use a rest, so let’s declare him incompetent and let Pence shoulder the burden.

Of course Plan 25 requires the complicity of the Cabinet, and I don’t see a Brutus among them.

So yeah, smoking gun. Everyone suddenly decides Putin is Bad after all? Heck, his job is done.

Still on a mental health newsbreak. I went to my doctor (and guess what he told me) for a follow up and a refill on the tranqs.

Doc: Sometimes countries have to endure a terrible ordeal, like a dictator or a civil war, in order to emerge better on the other side.

Me: This is the pep talk??

His comments were oddly similar to those of Tony Blair, who stated in a CBC interview a few months ago that sometimes people have to live through something in order to discover that they don’t want it, such as hate-crazed old white people’s love affair with a certain bottle-tan fascist.

@¡Andrew!: I don’t disagree, but with today’s Nuke Talk, “live through it” isn’t guaranteed, not to mention ongoing To Hell With the Climate talk.

@nojo: I don’t even wanna know. Everything up to this point has been a living nightmare as is.

My doc is my age (early 40s GenXer), and his view is that the Millennials–the most educated, diverse, liberal, and economically screwed generation–are gonna be so traumatized by President Twitter Troll that we’re going to see some fierce resistance and radical changes sooner than we think. Within ten years, the Silent Generation and half of the Boomers will be gone, making them the largest age demographic by far, so I’m holding onto hope that they’ll be highly motivated to pick up the pieces and solve the country’s seemingly intractable problems. The pendulum will swing back even harder to the Left.

We’re hurtling back to the early 80s at an incredible speed.

What I’ve struggled with as a news junkie is accepting the fact that 99.99% of what’s happening is totally out of my sphere of control, and there’s not a damn thing that I can do about any of it. I donate munnie and I vote, so I’d just be torturing myself by following the daily antics of the Raging Orange A$$hole. It’s hard to sit with that feeling of helplessness, but there it is. The best revenge is living well, and I refuse to let those bastards grind me down.

In the spirit of the season, my family has been enjoying the Dolly Parton, Home for Christmas teevee special. She really is the greatest. A friend calls her the Madonna of country music.

In Hard Candy Christmas, it looks like Dolly is wearing a topless evening gown, and the censors have blurred out her boobs! Hahaha. This actually is one of my ultimate favorites, boobs and all. It’s impossible to be in a bad mood while watching these.

Merry Christmas, amigos!

@¡Andrew!: Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not Princess Leia!

Carrie Fisher had a heart attack on the plane from London to LA.

@ManchuCandidate: Oh fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck 2016!!

@ManchuCandidate: Doesn’t not breathing for 10 minutes = major brain damage?

@¡Andrew!: Amen, sister!

@JNOV: Listening to “Last Christmas” right now. Realizing it is a very sad holiday song.

As ChicagoBureau put it on the Twitterz, the following people need to report to the 2016 Survival Bunker:

@SanFranLefty: Yes. “Freedom 90” – I was so proud of him.

@SanFranLefty: Do you remember Andre – he was in your class. I was in the midst of a hypomanic episode. I needed to return a bird feeder, but I couldn’t remember where I’d bought it. We drove around for hours stopping at different big box stores singing “Too Funky” trying to figure out where I’d bought that fucking thing.

@JNOV: Are you kidding? Of course I remember him – he was one of my favorite peeps from law school. He was in small section with me 1L year, I adored him. He’s on the Book of Faces with me, posted some adorable Xmas morning pics this morning, if you want to look him up. My FB feed is exploding with every ghey man, straight woman, and secure in their sexuality straight guy who came of age in the ’80s or ’90s mourning GM.

@ManchuCandidate: Yes. ETA: Wait – not yes to the virginity thing. Ha! Mass confusion!

@SanFranLefty: I will. He never cared when I was in the crazy. <3

@JNOV: P.S. The mental image of you holding a bird feeder in your lap, sitting in a passenger seat, while being transported around the Peninsula’s various hardware stores by a (very openly) gay black man from NYC blaring George Michael is beyond brilliantly hilarious. <3

@SanFranLefty: I was driving. He was my ETA happy captive. Have that mental image. ;-) “ANDRE! LET’S GO!”

EATA: The look of confusion on people’s faces, “Yes, I bought this bird feeder here. Check again.”

@JNOV: Ahh, that makes more sense! My first thought was, “Wait, he had a driver’s license?”

@JNOV: Did you see this re: Carrie Fisher & bipolar disorder?

@SanFranLefty: I was listening to Fisher talk about it on Fresh Air. Yesterday I heard Ana Marie Cox speak about her tweet on NPR. Cox and I have the same type.

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