Red Dawn

There is a bear shitting in the woods.

On Monday, freelance agents of the Russian government will vote to elect Donald Trump the President of the United States of America, following a successful campaign directed by Vladimir Putin to undermine the candidacy of his opponent.

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

Instead, the Russians were supposed to launch a land war on the United States, breezing to success until a group of plucky Colorado teens resisted them. We were supposed to fight the Russkies, not welcome them.

Silly us, we thought Americans had a problem with tyranny. We should have known better.

And the thing is, we used to.

We grew up during the Cold War, at least the last thirty years of it. America was opposed to tyranny, or so we were told, until folks started noticing our country’s support for unsavory characters around the world, toppling democratically elected governments if necessary to install them.

They were sons of bitches. But they were our sons of bitches.

And not Commie Russia’s.

The goal was not to make the world safe for democracy, but for the United Fruit Company, Standard Oil, and Halliburton. Threats to populations we can put up with, but don’t mess with our capital.

Which is why Donald Trump, Donald Trump’s supporters and Donald Trump’s Secretary of State nominee don’t have issues with former KGB agent Vladimir Putin: We can do business with him. We’ll even throw in Ukraine to close the deal.

What? Ukraine not enough? How about we break up NATO as well? They’re just chiseling us anyway.

The Angry Mobs back home don’t care whether Trump introduces tyranny to America, because they fancy themselves beneficiaries of it: The oppression will fall on the backs of those who have been taking America away from them.

No, not the wealthy who have been taking larger slices of the pie since 1980. And not the plutocrats of Trump’s cabinet, whose combined wealth totals more than a third of the citizens they serve.

No, the villains are, as always, liberals and colored folk. They’ll get what’s coming to them, that’s for sure, even if we have to dismantle Medicare and Social Security to do it.

What’s brilliant about our new tyranny is that they pulled it off without FEMA trailers or black helicopters or gun confiscation.

Because unlike the movies, none of that was needed.

All they had to do was ask.


It’s not really a surprise that the RepubliKKKans are in bed with the Russians, Manchurian Candidate-style. They’re authoritarians, and Russia is a kleptocratic dictatorship, which is exactly the kind of country over which they wish to rule with an iron fist. They’ll use a hurricane of lies, propaganda, and hatred of racial and sexual minorities to keep the plurality of the population voting against their own interests, in conjunction with non-Democratic schemes like gerrymandering, voter-suppression laws, and the (s)Electoral College to keep a boot on the neck of our former democracy.

The people screeching the loudest are the ones demanding fascism while calling it freedumb.

Despite all of that, I am hopeful because winning was the worst thing that could’ve happened to the RepubliKKKans. They’re totally toxic and destructive, and implementing their right-wing agenda will be deeply unpopular. They’ll also bear the collective shame of being saddled with Trump, which will be an anchor around their necks as demographic and technological trends accelerate over the next decade.

@¡Andrew!: As we’re seeing in North Carolina, overreach is a fact of life with this crew — which, as you pointed out earlier, allowed Dems to take back Congress in 2006.

So. if we’re lucky, shit gets fucked so bad that Trump loses control in two years. But the amount of lasting harm he can cause even in that window remains devastating, and we’re still living under shameless voter suppression and 2010 gerrymandering.

@SanFranLefty: So she’ll be giving up any and all involvement in the Trump business empire, right? Haha, just kidding! That would require some knowledge or respect of ethics, the rule of law, democracy, etc.

@mellbell: Pardoned in advance! Why didn’t the Democrats think of that? We could have been spared the whole “Lock her up” bullshit.

@Mistress Cynica: And the resulting Obama Impeachment would have been really fun!

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment