Our Best Posts of the Year

He Hasn’t Quit Yet?
(January 1)

Dear God, He’s Still There
(February 12)

The Best Place to Buy Pikes
(March 21)

If Obama Did That, You’d Never Hear the End of It
(May 11)

Those Scandals are Really Distractions from These Scandals
(June 30)

That’s Not a Tweet, That’s a Desecration
(July 14)

We Can’t Take a Dump These Days Without the World Going to Hell
(August 8)

Thirteen Creative Uses of the 25th Amendment
(October 17)

A Plague of Gophers on Your Golf Course
(November 20)

Wake Up, Dorothy!
(December 31)


My favorite was this one, on Al Jazeera Arabic (any day of the year):

انتظر ، هل رأيت ما يفلت منه هذا الشخص؟

I killed my computer. Until I receive my bootable malware OS X thunmdrive, I leave you with this:

2020 Kolbochar (I have time to learn how to spell it) O’Rourke (the man is quite fuckable)

2024 Same as above

2028 (maths is hard) O’Rourke (mebbe) Ocasio-Cortez

Screen too small for these old eye.

Happy New Year! May my paycheck last until the shutdown ends. Fuckers!

I usually hate these end-of-year lists, however we need the good news more than ever. It’s even worth burning one of your free monthly clicks. From WaPo:

18 good things that happened in 2018

Here’s to a 2019 full of indictments and impeachments. Happy New Year, Stinqueros!

@SanFranLefty: Picking up the mantle where spineless Flake left off, Mittenz in da house talking smack to Drumpf

Ha ha ha. Okay, he’s not in the House, he’s in the Senate. And it’s hardly talking smack if he can’t even say Twitler’s name.

So I’m embarrassed to admit that I cried during the new Aquaman because it’s the most beautiful film that I’ve ever seen, courtesy of next-level special FX. The dialogue is clunky at times (how many screenwriters did this thing have? But still…) I saw it at the Cinerama, which was mind-blowing, and I’m gonna try 2 C it in IMAX 3D; it’s that incredible. Plus: Jason Momoa—why don’t I have his number??? I’d hit that so hard, we’d set off a tsunami alert.

Also, they made me give a fuck about Aquaman, which has 2 B the greatest feat of movie magic evah.

Twenty minutes until things are slightly less awful.

@nojo: Looks like Some Geek needs to check the server clock.

And with the hit on AOC having fun and enjoying herself in high school, we’re back to normal.

Do ya think that Prezinazi White Trash Dumpfux has received The World Is A Business speech from our Global Overlords yet?

@nojo: It’s exactly the same pattern as the debacle ten years ago: a months-long technical breakdown in the fall (2007/2018), followed by a ***HOLY SHIT*** crash the next year (2008/2019?).

Gee, it looks like putting a deranged, corrupt, amoral, lying, incompetent, senile, racist, lunatic asshole and his kleptocratic sycophants in charge might have consequences.

Not to be alarmist, but the real economic bomb is gonna be Brexit. I saw a forecast recently that showed they expect the British economy to contract by 3.6% due to the legal chaos of a no-deal scenario on March 29, 2019. London is the world’s money-laundering capital. So…

Save as much cash as you can, now.

@¡Andrew!: I seriously had several hours of insomnia last night freaking out about the shutdown and all the unpaid federal employees, unfunded critical programs, and the fact that the federal judiciary is operating on fumes and is going to be out of money soon. I have no words to capture the fear, horror, and revulsion that I feel when realizing that the third co-equal branch of government — mind you, the only branch that’s been willing to stand up for the Constitution and basic norms and apply the brakes to Caligula’s suicide-mission to destroy our country — is about to be shut down.

I don’t know what the Russians have on Mitch McConnell but someone needs to remind him that this is not a parliamentary system and he doesn’t take his orders from the putative head of his political party. His current refusal to consider the budget bill until Twitler blesses it is in and of itself impeachable.

@JNOV: Hey, girl! Thinking about you.
Hang in there til the fuckers give up.

@SanFranLefty: although I’m fortunate to have my housing and meals covered during my unpaid servitude, I also have Junior’s tuition bills as well as monthly payments back to the USG for an error on their part with last year’s payroll. Ima gonna need a lot of cinnamon buns if I want to have a waist over which to tighten my belt.

@nojo: OTOH, I’m thrilled with this ballsy RILF. Bronx tail, indeed.

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