Picture of Sanford's Poon Tango's Lair Where They Celebrated Sanford's Family Values With Some Savage Pestorking

Gov. Mark Sanford’s Argentinian poon tango’s identity has finally been revealed by an inquisitive press, determined to find out what kind of hot, dewy quivering piece of ass would temp the family-values fucktard to fly around the world for some attempted surreptitious pestorking.

Legendary Stinquer SanFranLefty is not budging from her contention that the poon tango is a schlong-packing transvestite, betting the mumber of tranny’s in Buenos Aires and Sanford’s political affiliation make it statistically improbable that his poon tango is really female. Still, despite SFL’s skepticism, the media has revealed some details about the affair’s protagonist.

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Twisted GOP Royals Poppy and Babs Bush Recently Purchased Sex Slaves to Entertain Them and Sastisfy Their Caligulan Impulses. Babs chuckles at the gonads being thrust into her face. Poppy, the debauched, senescent fuckwit, drools incontinently.

Poppy and Babs Bush have reportedly lost the trained bear that they used for savage sexual satisfaction at their Maine redoubt for the last 30 years and replaced him with a brother-sister pair from Odessa they bought from a white slave trader who brokers hookers and slave boys for Iraqi mercenaries.

“We got a great discount on Albena and Igor,” said Poppy. “It was kind of a party favor for the deal Cheney got for a sex-slave broker buddy servicing the Blackwater guys and gals and other Iraqi contrators. Great deal and I think we got the pick of the litter. Otherwise, we’d have to train another fuck bear and Babs is too old for that now.”

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Hal Turner is pictured, telling Sean Hannity how much he wants to fuck him in the ass while they watch the Nuremberg rallies together

One of Sean Hannity’s favorite on air personalities is neonazi psycopath Hal Turner, a fascist monster who shouts on the Internet and openly fantacizes about genocide, the kind of thing that Hannity would like to program on his show.

Turner’s foaming incitements to violence finally caught the notice of the gendarmes after he demanded that his mouthbreathing listeners rush out and kill two Connecticut state legislators, the stupid fucking piece of shit, resulting in his arrest.

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Rush, please, just fucking die.

Neonazi hatecaster Rush Limbaugh is so fat he uses the Chrysler Building in New York City for a rectal dildo.

Limbaugh is so fat he has to send search and rescue teams to locate his dick when he has to take a piss.

Fuckface Limbaugh is so fat that when he sits around the house, he really sits around the house.

Drug-freak Limbaugh is so fat that the Big and Tall shops have banned him and can only wear custom-tailored parachutes.

Thrice-divorced psychopath Limbaugh is so fat the only way he can have sex is to bend over a dumpster while Punkin cat grinds the gears on a Greyhound bus and drives it in and out of his asshole.

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Did’ya hear? Dick Cheney gave a speech today. And all the big networks covered it and broadcast it live because… hey… when the guy who ran the country so expertly for eight years gives a speech, the American people want to hear what he has to say… if only for the sake of nostalgia.

The speech itself was long and boring and all about what an awful person that Barack Obama fellow is because he doesn’t want to waterboard prisoners any more to figure out once and for all where Saddam hid those darned, elusive WMDs.

And while the speech is too long and boring to reprint in its entirety (or even to quote from at length) it does have one redeeming virtue, and that’s that you can summarize Cheney’s entire argument (indeed, his philosophy of government) by quoting just one sentence from it. Read more »

Punkin the Cat hates living with the fat fucking twisted retard Douche Limpbag but loves reporting from behind enemy lines, using only his amazing telepathic powers

From time to time, Stinque.com will assign special correspondents who though without conventional press credentials can, due to special skills or access, report from the front in this, the uneasy twilight years of the confrontation between civilization and the neomediavist movement that is gripping America.

Rush Limbaugh’s pet, Punkin Cat, has agreed to post occasional reports from the high castle of neofascist fucktard and enemy of civilization, Rush Limbaugh, to let the world know of the cackling insanity and wanton, gasping depravity of the sick fuck that has assumed the role of GOP’s First Freak.

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Ultafuckingobamabadness! Leader of the free world checks out a new Czech AK-47 that he will use to shred GOP gang leader Dick Cheney

Weary of the taunts of GOP gang leader and war entrepreneur Dick Cheney, President Barack Obama is in training at a secret military encampment in the Smokey Mountains with a number of special forces personnel and martial arts masters, honing his fighting skills to prepare for the final confrontation with this murderous, profiteering dog.

“Cheney’s working with his own fifth column in Defense and BushCo’s long-time allies in Saudi Arabia to direct attacks against the United States to discredit my administration, to re-establish the GOP junta and, finally, to reinvigorate the war-driven gravy train that has bolstered his Halliburton stock and fattened his offshore accounts with no-bid contract kickbacks. Clearly, it’s time to rip the treasonous motherfucker’s throat out,” President Barack Obama said.

Reporters, spirited to the training camp blindfolded earlier in the day for the press conference, looked stunned for a moment and then burst into applause shouting, “Death! Death! Death to the traitorous dog, fearless leader!” Obama grimaced briefly and silenced the ink-stained wretches by firing a burst into the air.

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