How Fat is Rush Limbaugh?

Rush, please, just fucking die.

Rush, please, just fucking die.

Neonazi hatecaster Rush Limbaugh is so fat he uses the Chrysler Building in New York City for a rectal dildo.

Limbaugh is so fat he has to send search and rescue teams to locate his dick when he has to take a piss.

Fuckface Limbaugh is so fat that when he sits around the house, he really sits around the house.

Drug-freak Limbaugh is so fat that the Big and Tall shops have banned him and can only wear custom-tailored parachutes.

Thrice-divorced psychopath Limbaugh is so fat the only way he can have sex is to bend over a dumpster while Punkin cat grinds the gears on a Greyhound bus and drives it in and out of his asshole.

Piece of shit Limbaugh is so fat the only way he can bathe is to go to the local airport to be soaked down in de-icing detergent and rinsed off by the airport fire brigade’s pumper truck.

16 Comments

I used to work in the Chrysler Building. Now I know why my office smelled a bit funny.

Limbaugh is so fat that he’s the only human being with his own Event Horizon.

According to Governor Schwarzenegger he is 650 pounds.

@Comandante Agi: Yes, but Ahhhnold is Austrian, so that’s in celsius.

Rush is so fat, he was arrested at the airport for 20 pounds of crack.

As Al Franken once wrote, 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag.

Rush Limbaugh is so fat he needs a scaffold, two midgets and a mirror to get a look at his dick.

Rush Limbaugh is so fat his last prostate exam was performed by a spelunker.

Rush is so fat that he once proposed that polling places should tally votes by the square inch.

Rush is so fat, his toilet is a Superfund site.

Rush is so fat, there’s a Monolith orbiting around him.

Rush is so fat, Florida will be overcome by tides five years early.

Rush? So fat he named his illegitimate son “Cheese”.

@nojo: Rush is so fat, Florida is tickling the Galveston coastline.

Maybe he’s not really fat. Isn’t it possible that his intense self centerdness creates a black hole that bends light around him, creating an illusion of fatness?

Nah, he’s just a big fat douchebag. My mistake.

Stinquers, I’m shocked! and dismayed! that we’ve descended to making fun of people for their weight.

Well, if you insist.

Rush is so saturated fat, the Oaxacans won’t use his lard for frijoles, much less moles.

If we all switched to biodiesel, melted him down and used him for fuel, our dependence on Middle East oil would be over.

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