How Fat is Rush Limbaugh?

I used to work in the Chrysler Building. Now I know why my office smelled a bit funny.

Limbaugh is so fat that he’s the only human being with his own Event Horizon.

According to Governor Schwarzenegger he is 650 pounds.

@Comandante Agi: Yes, but Ahhhnold is Austrian, so that’s in celsius.

@blogenfreude: Heee!

Rush is so fat, he was arrested at the airport for 20 pounds of crack.

As Al Franken once wrote, 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag.

Rush Limbaugh is so fat he needs a scaffold, two midgets and a mirror to get a look at his dick.

Rush Limbaugh is so fat his last prostate exam was performed by a spelunker.

Rush is so fat that he once proposed that polling places should tally votes by the square inch.

Rush is so fat, his toilet is a Superfund site.

Rush is so fat, there’s a Monolith orbiting around him.

Rush is so fat, Florida will be overcome by tides five years early.

Rush? So fat he named his illegitimate son “Cheese”.

@nojo: Rush is so fat, Florida is tickling the Galveston coastline.

Maybe he’s not really fat. Isn’t it possible that his intense self centerdness creates a black hole that bends light around him, creating an illusion of fatness?

Nah, he’s just a big fat douchebag. My mistake.

Stinquers, I’m shocked! and dismayed! that we’ve descended to making fun of people for their weight.

Well, if you insist.

Rush is so saturated fat, the Oaxacans won’t use his lard for frijoles, much less moles.

If we all switched to biodiesel, melted him down and used him for fuel, our dependence on Middle East oil would be over.