
Dow 30,000 by 2008: Why It’s Different This Time
Author: Robert Zuccaro
Published: December 2001
Dow: 9,851

Dow 30,000 by 2008: Why It’s Different This Time
Author: Robert Zuccaro
Published: December 2001
Dow: 9,851

We’ve been giving Geezer’s Rovian Henchmen the benefit of the doubt — they know the pig and the lipstick — but near as we can tell, those crazy kids at the National Review Online must be smoking their own stash.
How else to explain the fact they want Talibunny to debate Thursday night?
[Soon as we can source this, somebody deserves a Medal of Freedom.]
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
Washington. An alley. Night.
Op #1: So what do we do about it?
Op #2: About what?
Op #1: The Problem.
Op #2: What problem? It’s not my problem.
Op #1: It will be your problem if we don’t do something about it.
Op #2: Did I tell you there would be a problem?
Op #1: You did.
Op #2: And?
Op #1: It wasn’t a problem.

We stole the headline from the Daily Show writers, who contribute some sidebars to this week’s Entertainment Weekly interview with Stewart and Colbert. They’ve been doing a lot of press lately, but this one happened to land in our mailbox.

The Management would like to thank Our Patrons for a wildly successful ersatz online launch celebration. Search parties are being organized to round up anyone who didn’t make it home.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)