Dow 30,000 by 2008: Why It’s Different This Time
Author: Robert Zuccaro
Published: December 2001
Dow: 9,851

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We’ve been giving Geezer’s Rovian Henchmen the benefit of the doubt — they know the pig and the lipstick — but near as we can tell, those crazy kids at the National Review Online must be smoking their own stash.

How else to explain the fact they want Talibunny to debate Thursday night?

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[Soon as we can source this, somebody deserves a Medal of Freedom.]

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

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Washington. An alley. Night.

Op #1: So what do we do about it?

Op #2: About what?

Op #1: The Problem.

Op #2: What problem? It’s not my problem.

Op #1: It will be your problem if we don’t do something about it.

Op #2: Did I tell you there would be a problem?

Op #1: You did.

Op #2: And?

Op #1: It wasn’t a problem.

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We stole the headline from the Daily Show writers, who contribute some sidebars to this week’s Entertainment Weekly interview with Stewart and Colbert. They’ve been doing a lot of press lately, but this one happened to land in our mailbox.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert: Mock the Vote [EW]

Paul Newman: A First-Class Actor, A Class Act [WaPo]

The Management would like to thank Our Patrons for a wildly successful ersatz online launch celebration. Search parties are being organized to round up anyone who didn’t make it home.