Guy goes to a doctor. Guy says, “Doc, my dick hurts when I do this!” Doc says, “Don’t do that!”

They both laugh and laugh and laugh.

Guy says, “No, really, Doc, my dick hurts!” Doc says, “Fine, we’ll schedule some surgery, give you an emergency bris.”

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What? Katie’s not doing this one? Shit. Well, fuck it, nothing else the past month has made sense anyway, so why start now?

So imagine Jim Lehrer with a wig, and let’s get started with the 2008 Presidential Debate Liveblog/Open Thread/Drinking Game. We understand that “My Friends” is the preferred cue, although honestly we don’t know if there’s enough beer in the fridge to manage ninety minutes of that, especially since the Geezer likes to throw in at least two per sentence.

Okay: If he does two “My Friends” per clause, bottoms up.

Even then we might lose hand-eye coordination early, so maybe we’ll just skip the liveblog entirely and play in the open thread. That’s where the cool kids hang out.

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Sarah Palin’s partying with the debate-watching crew at the Irish Pub in Philly, and JNOV’s on the scene with her Crackberry. More heartwarming images welcoming Talibunny to the City of Brotherly Love after the jump.

[Update: JNOV found a video of the event that provides a better view of that “Lesbian Ariel Hunters for Palin” sign. Follows the photos at the bottom of the post.]

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Especially noteworthy was the standing O from Dumbledore.

[Reuters]

No joke — this ad appeared on the WSJ website this morning. But before you jump to conclusions, it obviously refers to the debate within the McCain campaign whether to forsake America in its time of need, or stay in Washington until the job gets done.

Guess who won.

Liveblog/open thread/pity party starts here at 8:40 p.m. Eastern.

Debate Is On [NYT]

McCain Wins Debate [WaPo]

We thought this would be a clever allusion to the suspense surrounding tonight’s presidential debate. But then we thought it would really be a clever allusion to the suspense surrounding the bailout plan. Although it could also be a clever allusion to the suspense surrounding the first time Sarah Palin says something that cannot be factually disproven.

And then we realized: We’re actually living out a clever allusion to someone else’s reality.

And that’s when our face melted off.

Debate uncertainty keeps the political stakes high [LAT]

Good fucking lord, can’t we get any work done around here without a crisis erupting every hour? We were quite happy to let things slide while we caught up with the paying customers, but we didn’t expect them to fall off a cliff. Given the circumstances, we’re left with no choice but to resort to The Link Dump From Hell:

• Psychogeezer checks into rehab: Proving once again he’s not afraid to take bold steps in a crisis, John McCain concedes the presidential race five weeks before the election. We look forward to watching Barry debate a cardboard cutout Friday night. Not that we expect anyone would notice the difference.

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