Cause		Effect
	Corner Pocket of Perdition	Asteroid caroms off Moon and hits Earth, which crashes into Mars for good measure.
	Drain of Doom	Scientists devise means to reverse spin of water in drains. Unforeseen consequence stops Earth’s rotation, gravity fails, everyone flies into space.
	Global Waring	Giant blender escapes Jupiter’s orbit, grinding everything in its path.

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Hillary Clinton has written off $13.2 million she loaned to her campaign. She still owes $5.4 million to Mark Penn, who astonishingly has yet to be nominated for a Stinque Award.

Clinton Writes Off $13.2 Million Loan to Campaign [Bloomberg]

The 2008 Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy are dedicated to Muntader al-Zaidi for Throwing Truth to Power. In honor of Mr. al-Zaidi’s world-historical service to the vituperative arts, this year’s award is a handsome Crystal Shoe created exclusively for Stinque by 24-Hour Novelties & Box Wine SuperStore of Tarzana, California.

Our categories were proposed by Stinque readers during an exhaustive nationwide search, and finalized upon receipt and tally of favors financial and carnal. Nominees may be proposed in the comments; winners will be announced next Monday during a gala ceremony broadcast live from atop the Stinque Executive Washroom.

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Title: The 10 Big Lies About America: Combating Destructive Distortions About Our Nation

Author: Michael Medved

Rank: 83

Blurb: “Myth: The alarming rise of big business hurts the United States and oppresses its people. Fact: Corporations played an indispensable role in building America, and corporate growth has brought progress that benefits all with cheaper goods and better jobs.”

Review: “Medved doesn’t sugar coat slavery in America, but he does put it in perspective. I’m always amazed at how misinformed people are on the topic anyway. Slavery was tragic, and the United States shouldn’t attempt to hide from its involvement in the trade. However, slavery was as much a legal trade activity in the seventeenth through nineteenth century as trading oil today. We need to keep that in perspective.”

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Failed scold Kenneth Starr has filed suit on behalf of Prop. 8 sponsors to invalidate 18,000 legal marriages in California. “Proposition 8’s brevity is matched by its clarity,” his brief argues. “There are no conditional clauses, exceptions, exemptions or exclusions.”

And sure enough, here’s the spankin’ new Article 1, Section 7.5 of the California Constitution:

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

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Model		Advantage
	Wingtip	Classic leather craftsmanship makes this a winning projectile in any culture
	Nike Air	Endorsement deal helps cover medical expenses
	Golf Shoe	Spikes
	Birkenstock	Can be launched directly from foot

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