Take Away My Wife! Please!

Failed scold Kenneth Starr has filed suit on behalf of Prop. 8 sponsors to invalidate 18,000 legal marriages in California. “Proposition 8’s brevity is matched by its clarity,” his brief argues. “There are no conditional clauses, exceptions, exemptions or exclusions.”

And sure enough, here’s the spankin’ new Article 1, Section 7.5 of the California Constitution:

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Which immediately follows the equally brief, equally clear Article 1, Section 7(b):

A citizen or class of citizens may not be granted privileges or immunities not granted on the same terms to all citizens.

So we offer the lawyers in our vast international audience the first Stinque Challenge: File a lawsuit voiding all marriages in California. It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law.

Prop. 8 sponsors seek to nullify 18K gay marriages [AP]

Brown asks state high court to overturn Prop. 8 [SF Chron]

Article 1 [California Constitution]

23 Comments

No one reads those musty old law-books anyway, so it’s fine. Yet another legal impossibility comes to rest on the head of US Americans.

When Kenneth Starr became the dean of Pepperdine’s law school, I only thought it incredibly fitting to have a smug, self-satisfied rich jerkoff in charge of a school full of them.

Good to know nothing much has changed with him.

No Stinque Jam today? Or is last week’s still open?

@Mistress Cynica: Everyone seems to have exhausted their snapshot stash, so the Jam is on hiatus for awhile.

Ken Starr is fucking obscene. He never takes on a case involving, like, say, an industrial abrasives company, a zoo or an intellectual property question. It’s always about The Pants. What’s with this guy? Is he, like, upset that everyone in America is fucking themselves into a sweaty, palpitating fever all day and all night and he’s left alone pulling his pud watching kiddy snuff porn while his wife pulls trains with biker gangs in San Bernardino? Ha? Is that it, asshole?

@nojo: You’re kidding. A few weeks and no one has any more pictures? Really?

@FlyingChainSaw: prosecuting other people because of what they do in bed is the only thing that can probably get him stiff any more.

I’m surprised the Lewinsky porn-tract of a legal case lasted him a decade plus. I’d have thought he’d need new material long before then.

@nojo:
I was waiting for this weekend’s jam to send in my doggy Santa hat photos. you have no idea how many pictures I have of my dog in Santa hats.

@FlyingChainSaw: Ten jams to date, including a couple of special editions.

@SanFranLefty: I’m thinking regular jams the first weekend of the month, plus specials as merited. Next Saturday seems a good moment for a War on Christmas Jam.

@nojo: Oh good. I have snow pics to share, including my boss and co-worker helping the FedEx guy try to push his truck out of the snow. Had to call a tow truck.

@nojo: I had a few on deck as well. You’d be surprised how often I forgot to wear pj bottoms on Xmas morning as a tyke – and how frequently my folks managed to document it.

Damn, and here’s me with ~300 Judy Garland show pictures…

If the bastards succeed in invalidating the gay marriages which got in before the Mormon deadline, it will indeed be a time to go thermonookuylar up in this shit.

@nojo: Aw. I took pictures of snow. I almost went out to the reservoir to take pictures of mountains but the roads were too slick. And I took pictures of my new amaryllis “Republican Rapture”; the bloom is a glowing dark red that’s obsessed with free market capitalism. And my feet. Well, OK, big guy. We’ll all be loading our snaps soon.

I have a question about the marriage/man/woman/malarky: In this age of surgical virtuosity how do we define man/woman? Haven’t the terms become somewhat… blurry? Not quite so either/or any more, is it?

Ken Starr is our Savonarola.

This ongoing marriage debate and now Hopey’s dopiness is doing strange things to me: I am being dragged out of the closet a second time and have now gone on Facebook naked. Not sure what that site is for but I’ll give it a shot. Friend me, you guys!! It’ll be so like awesome and stuff.

I totally think AG Moonbeam can kick Ken Starr’s ass. Almost worth it to see the smack-down.

We should start a campaign to send Ken Starr our used anal toys, c/o Pepperdine, like they did to that other failed scold in Alabama(?) I think.

@rptrcub: Congrats on Potential Mr. Cub! Couldn’t happen to a more awesome bear.

Heyyyyy! I am back. Eight days on an island, with no newspapers, no television, no radio. Nothing. No internet, nothing. Cold turkey, for Mr. news junkie internet addict. Yay, I made it. I love Abaco, I love my little Cay, Lubbers Cay, it had no bars, no restaurants, no stores, no roads, it was 15 minutes by boat to the nearest town. There was a guy who sold conch and grouper and lobster from his house, though. Fresh, ginormous stone crab claws were only $14 a pound, lobster tails, fresh, local, were $15 a pound, conch was free, I caught them and made ceviche and cracked conch and fried conch strips, and I caught yellowtail snapper and even a grouper off the dock in front of my little cabin in the jungle. Everyone was happy, I am glowing. Hi. y’all. I’m gonna be boring for a while, because I am not angry or cynical.

Kalik beer is great. The big news in Abaco was the annual soap-box derby, which has adult and youth competitions. I almost caught a lobster snorkeling, but I had no gloves and could not hold on for the spines and he retreated into his cave.

@Promnight: because I am not angry or cynical

Vacation is the best medicine, yes? I’m still a bit aglow from mine, but two weeks back in teh USSA is enough for a little cynicism to return. In a relaxed, good-natured manner of course.

Lobster bisque for lunch the other day at a great place in La Jolla…mmmm.

@Pedonator: GOOD vacations are the best medicine, some, hell, most so-called paradises I have visited, I could not help but notice worse shit than we put up with here, countries with vast wealth differences, desperately poor people they try to wall you off from in your little resort bubble, corrupt politics, those places can make you more depressed, its what the US would be like if Bush et al had their way. It was not like that at all. Locals were not so much poor as they lived simpler lives, there was no desperate poverty and simmering anger that you can feel in some places.

@Promnight: That sounds wonderful. I’ve never been able to go to Mexico or Jamaica, etc. because I knew I couldn’t deal with the guilt of being surrounded by the desperately poor.
Glad you were in a news-free zone and got to relax. Not much happened while you were gone. Really, nothing to report on the Big 3.

@Promnight: I make it a point to have only GOOD vacations. So far it’s worked out. But the simmeringly angry desperate poor aren’t so difficult to find here in the good ol’ US America either. Pretty much the entire world is run by the same dysfunctional family oligarchy, complete with internecine wars. You and I are just lucky enough to be among the artisan-ish class, as such and while that lasts.

But Abaco does sound like a little slice of paradise, hope I have a chance to go there before I join the cannibal hordes. The memory would be a bittersweet seasoning to flavor the Manburger Helper Casserole Surprise that lies in my/our gourmet future.

But for now, life is good. Welcome back!

I interviewed at K&E DC (didn’t get the job). Shuttled between offices, I passed his. Chilly – decorated in Protestant Reformation. Glad I didn’t get an offer in hindsight.

@blogenfreude: decorated in Protestant Reformation–This is my favoritist phrase of the day, and I intend to work it into conversations from now on.

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