The Right to Keep and Bear Footwear
| Model | Advantage | |
 |
Wingtip | Classic leather craftsmanship makes this a winning projectile in any culture |
 |
Nike Air | Endorsement deal helps cover medical expenses |
 |
Golf Shoe | Spikes |
 |
Birkenstock | Can be launched directly from foot |
 |
Stiletto | The ladies’ choice for close-proximity insults |
 |
Cowboy Boot | Slow to load, but guaranteed to make a statement against faux-Texan targets |
 |
Bunny Slipper | Just for kids, this model is easy to throw and sure to humiliate world statesmen |
No knee high boots made for walking?
I have a size 13 Doc Marten that I could dent the Dear Leader with … just get me close enough.
@blogenfreude:
My, what big feet you have, bloggie.
Are they steel-tipped Doc Marten’s? I would add some sort of steel-tipped boot or shoe to the list.
@SanFranLefty: I vote for steel-toe Carharts or Timberlands. Or hell, whatever off-label brand K-Mart has.
@blogenfreude: I still have mine from high school. Still remarkably comfortable 10 years later.
@SanFranLefty: is there a way to launch the boot steel-end first? Timberlands are the best choice, Docs would do in a pinch.
@Signal to Noise:
I still have a pair of Docs that I bought at a head shop in Austin in 1988.
@ManchuCandidate:
BREAKING: Your Loonies going to bail out the Big 3 as well, per P.M. McGoo.
@SanFranLefty: The meeting between Hope (TM) and the Dope (R) is going to be an awkward one.
@SanFranLefty: given the scuffing and beating my old pair has taken, I’m reasonably convinced all pairs of Docs will survive the nuclear holocaust along with roaches and Keith Richards.
Just once, I’d like to see a senator break out the fluffy bunnies during a filibuster. That would be awesome.
Senator Vitter, perhaps? They look great with the Pampers.
In my little backwater section of California, some riled-up locals brought a bunch of shoes to the board of supervisors meeting over a massive development project.
I was really rooting for some of them to get thrown rather than just dumped on the floor.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…