73 Cents Per Crack

If I’m Hils then I’m demanding my money back from Mark “Run till Super Tuesday/Caucuses don’t mean shit” Penn.

Turning the inevitable candidate into 2nd place takes a lot of effort and unskill, but in the end it was still a close run thing and created more hard feelings than snark.

Ghouliani’s campaign still makes me laugh with his pathetic “We wanted to lose all the primaries big time because that was how we planned to win nomination” plan. Ditto Thompson thanks to his “lazy” election plan.

Oh hey, that old CP interwebs site has lurched back into wheezing and sputtering life, there’s something big that happened while I was gone. That and the shoe-throwing.

Hillary will make it up in no time in bling … just ask Condi.

@Prommie: I’m guessing someone’s “between engagements” again.

@Prommie: Dead Cat Bounce. We’ve seen brief bursts of activity before.

Gnarls Thompson (singing Lazy) who is currently begging for work in Radio.

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I ran for prez
There was something so exhausting about that run.
Even my ambitions had no drive
In so much space

And when you’re out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn’t because I didn’t move enough
I just worked too much

Does that make me lazy?
Does that make me lazy?
Does that make me lazy?
probably

And I hope that someone will give me a radio job
But act fast, that’s my only advice

Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think I am,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think I gonna hustle?

Well, I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
To Pay me

My heroes had the heart to lose without any effort
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it’s no coincidence I’ve come
And I can sleep when I’m done

Maybe I’m lazy
Could be I’m lazy
Definitely lazy
You betchya

Ghouliani has not been nominated either, has he? There should be a special award for him, “Most Egotistical Corrupt Cousin-Marrying Bigamist and Serial Adulterer and Cross-Dressing Nazi Who Is More Pathetic Than Scary Thank God Because of His Colossal Overconfidence-Inspired Incompetence.”

@nojo: Lurkers.

TJ/ No more love at the five and dime.

ADD: @nojo: Noticed they run the twitter feed. Isn’t that like Leno trying to run a Top Ten list?

@dodger: Dock was the man.

@nojo: You had me at “per crack.”

@nabisco: Nice homage to Doc Ellis.

@Prommie: The Golden Ferret?

@blogenfreude: Damn — looks like I will have to move forward with the Technical Awards. Make that eleven hourly awards posts next Monday.

That’s a good price for crack.

@blogenfreude: Ferrets are likeable, how about Golden Weasel?

@nabisco: Damn. The things of my youth, all disappearing. I had an H&L Green store in my town, it had a lunch counter and they had monkeys in the pet department and Guillows flying balsa wood airplane models. Ya can’t get a fucking monkey anywhere anymore. Its a disgrace.

@nabisco: The CP Twitter was a Pre-Existing Condition, although I took the opportunity to make it more relevant. Same with the polls, which FCS upgraded into electoral masterpieces.

@nojo: I nominate Ya can’t get a fucking monkey anywhere anymore. Its a disgrace. for tomorrow’s twitterfeed. I just splattered my keyboard with cold coffee.

Fucking turtles, too, where’d the fucking turtles go, and those plastic bowls with the island and the palm tree, and the little jars of dead flies? Fucking country has gone to shit.

@nabisco: Yeah, I’ve had it with these all these self-righteous chaste monkeys.

@Prommie:
But 9u11lia911 has a hang up about ferrets, that’s why the award is perfect for him.

@SanFranLefty:
1) Happy belated B-Day.
2) LOL. I suspect that the problem isn’t Rudy hates Ferrets, but perhaps he’s recognizing how being obsessed with something might strike close to home. Replace Ferrets with 9/11.

@ManchuCandidate:
You’re not late, it’s still Monday where I am.

The pro-ferret people are quite passionate, as ferrets are illegal here in Kalyfornia, and they have run people for governor on the Legalization of Ferrets platform.

@SanFranLefty:
Cool.

Odd about the ferrets although many folks I know who own or owned them were friends of the wacky Herb.

Should have gone for the two-fer. Legalization of Pot AND Ferrets, no?

@nabisco:
me too! vitamin water ALL over the computer.
so glad you’re home prommie!

@Prommie:
i had one of those turtles with the plastic palm tree. they only got it for me because they have a life span of 3 weeks around most children. well, nurturer that i am, the fucking thing outgrew the laundry room sink where it eventually had to take up residence til we took it to the zoo.

and baby ducks and chicks at easter. what happened? PETA?

@baked: There are baby ducks and chicks at the farm store here in the spring. And bunnies. Mr Cyn had to put his foot down to keep me from bringing some home.

@baked: As a Young Adult Apartment Dweller, I decided I wanted to enslave a mammal, but wasn’t ready to commit to the standard models, so I got a rat instead. Desdemona lasted a good two years, and when she finally passed on to the Sewer in the Sky, I buried in her favorite box of Milk-Bones.

@nojo:
Do tell more.
Did Desdemona chase away all the rats and mice that normally harass Young Adult Apartment Dwellers? Was Desdemona one of the feral rats in your apartment that you tamed?

@SanFranLefty: Desdemona was a gray hooded rat at a McMinnville pet shop. (Kid behind the counter: “Feeder?” No, son. Snakes can fend for themselves.) It took her a few weeks to warm to Insistent Human Affection, but eventually she stopped hiding under the couch and decided to become a lap rat, later lap whore once she discovered the joy of alternate laps.

Note: Rats are not amenable to potty training, but you barely notice the pee.

@nojo: A cute pet rat that would do anything for cuddles, why does this make me think of Ken Starr?

@Promnight:
How could you disparage sweet Desdemona the Rat with such a comparison?!

@SanFranLefty: Its just the phrase “pet rat” that makes me think of Starr, Kristol, the legions of evil shitbags willing to carry water for the fascists in return for a cuddle or two.

@baked: @Mistress Cynica: The shelter where my bunnies came from gets an influx of baby rabbits about a month after Easter every year. There’s even a pro-bunny welfare campaign called Make Mine Chocolate. Also, they won’t adopt out the black cats at Halloween.

@nojo: My sister had a cream-colored rat named Camille. It was pretty smart, but I hated it nonetheless. I think I was prejudice against the naked tail. It died shortly after I jokingly cursed it on my way out the door for a summer working out-of-state; I think my sister still blames me for Camille’s untimely passing.

@SanFranLefty: 10:16 CST–still time for me to say Happy Birfday!

@nojo:
i object to calling your sweet desdemona a rat.
that is the name of a lying cheating husband we are all familiar with.

i always wanted a pet rat. hell, i always want a pet everything. but they have such a short life span, i couldn’t take it.
i buried a 17 year old dog last year, and little blind bernie is about to turn 16. i also had a cat that lived 24 years. the vet called my big baby sergio “geriatric” at 8 1/2 and i got dizzy.

i’ve been wanting to mention this since i saw the pic, now sems a good time. missRome posted a pic on the jam without explanation. it’s one of my fave things, so i will explain.

peggy guggenheim had a house in venice, that was her favorite. it’s an amazing modern art museum now. she is buried in the garden. the pic was the monument right next to peggy’s grave with all her dead pets. their names, birth and death dates. charmed the hell out of me.
one day i swear i’m going to bryn mawr to dig up my cat, and i am full of verklemptitude that i’m leaving my buried dog here.
don’t you love peggy for that?

@baked: You wanted a pet rat, you got one. Be careful what you wish for. ;->
Also love that Cleveland Amory is buried next to his beloved cat, Polar Bear. My plan is to have my ashes commingled with the ashes of my dead furbabies before scattering.