In the new Atlantic, Christopher Hitchens is tired of all the adoration received by America’s Favorite Fake Newscaster:

Immediately following the death of Walter Cronkite, Time magazine took an online poll to determine who was now “America’s most trusted newscaster.” Seven percent of those responding named Katie Couric. Nineteen percent nominated Charles Gibson. Twenty-nine percent went for Brian Williams. But the clear winner, garnering 44 percent, was Jon Stewart of The Daily Show. Either I missed it, or the poll failed to specify, in that wonderfully reassuring way that polls purport to do, what had been its “margin of error.”

Or it was, y’know, an online poll, which is 100% Accurate of visitors clicking buttons. Which is the first indication that Hitch is phoning this one in from the club.

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Glenn Beck, whom we’ve recently begun to suspect is a masterful comedic performance artist outranking even Sacha Baron Cohen and Andy Kaufman, recently took his viewers on a magical mystery tour of Rockefeller Center, warning them against being subliminally influenced by John D.’s commie iconography. See that hammer and sickle in the door frieze?

“It drives me nuts! that nobody knows what this is,” he said.

Which makes it all the more curious that the logo for the 9/12 DC event featured a raised fist — a cliché of lefty symbolism first used by the Wobblies in 1917. Don’t get too cute, Glenn — with winks like that and oligarhy, the yahoos will start catching on to you.

Glenn Beck’s ‘9-12’ logo based on communist and socialist designs [LA Times]

Last time we paid attention, John Madden was still a coach, and the home game consisted of a vibrating metal sheet with plastic players that scattered all over the place. Oh, and our local Disney-licensed college team was such a frequent denizen of the Bottom Ten — the classic Steve Harvey version, not the cable upstart — the local newspaper dropped the column.

So you’ll forgive our cluelessness. But we do know from drinking, so today inaugurates our weekend Stinque Tailgates. Since you’re going to talk trash anyway, we figured we’d provide a dumpster.

Today’s tip from Blogenfreude: “Jets in Houston — new QB, new season, so far a forty-year journey to nowhere. I feel like a Cubs fan.”

Title: “Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government”

Author: Glenn Beck

Rank: 15

Blurb: “Idiots can’t be identified through voting records, they can be found only by looking for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.”

Review: On Beck’s Rockefeller Center rant: “Come on people, it’s right there in front of your faces. All rich people are secretly communist fascists who want to brainwash your children by paying huge sums of money on artwork to indoctrinate them on the evil of money.”

Customers Also Bought: “Saving Freedom: We Can Stop America’s Slide into Socialism” by Jim DeMint

Footnote: Competitors for Best Customer Tag include “keeping america stupid”, “should come with crayons”, and “i weep for mrs beck”.

Arguing with Idiots [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Update: FlyingChainSaw has discovered an earlier draft of the cover…

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• The 9/13 Project: Sleep in.
• The 10/31 Project: Bark at kids who come to your door asking for handouts.
• The 11/2 Project: Set up Death Panels to scare the immigrant workers at the Home Depot.
• The 11/11 Project: Demand an end to socialized healthcare for veterans.
• The 11/26 Project: White meat only.
• The 11/27 Project: Curse the government that props up the banks that issue the credit cards that you’re carrying when you get trampled at Walmart.
• The 12/8 Project: Recapture the spirit Americans felt the day after Pearl Harbor; key a Prius.
• The 12/25 Project: Crucify that commie bastard who says we should love thy neighbor.

Democrats Inflate Expectations for 9/12 Rally Turnout [TPM]

As of 8:47 a.m. Eastern, Barack Obama will have kept us safe longer than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Cheney: ‘I’m Very Proud of What We Did’ [WaPo, August 30]

All the Vice President’s Men [Stinque]

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Our Oz correspondent recommends the following two stories, with the proviso that you don’t confuse them.

In the first story, Australian jockeys are upset over new rules that limit the amount of pain and suffering encouragement they can provide their dogmeat noble steeds down the stretch. Jockey union spokesmidget Paul Innes explains:

“To burden them now with counting how many times they have used their whip, have they got another whip, have they used their whip, is unsafe and [there are] dangers to flow from that,” he said.

Even worse is the introduction of a padded whip, which isn’t nearly as fun.

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