Write Your Own Punchline

I know nothing! Nothing!Title: “Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government”

Author: Glenn Beck

Rank: 15

Blurb: “Idiots can’t be identified through voting records, they can be found only by looking for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.”

Review: On Beck’s Rockefeller Center rant: “Come on people, it’s right there in front of your faces. All rich people are secretly communist fascists who want to brainwash your children by paying huge sums of money on artwork to indoctrinate them on the evil of money.”

Customers Also Bought: “Saving Freedom: We Can Stop America’s Slide into Socialism” by Jim DeMint

Footnote: Competitors for Best Customer Tag include “keeping america stupid”, “should come with crayons”, and “i weep for mrs beck”.

Arguing with Idiots [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Update: FlyingChainSaw has discovered an earlier draft of the cover…

My Poo I Fling.


There’s a Mrs. Beck? Please tell me they didn’t get the breeders manual…

I’ve found that people who push “Common sense” as a political platform usually lack it, competence and, especially in this case, self awareness.

Why is Bekc declaring “wah” on his followers?

@SanFranLefty: No. Looks vaguely Soviet. SS were red and black.

@FlyingChainSaw: Fascism, Nazism, Communism, what’s the difference? Aren’t they all simultaneously being practiced by the Kenyan Muslin Politian?

There was a difference, but thanks to Bekc and gang I have no idea.

@SanFranLefty: Oh, just like the Catholicism and Atheism people that voted for the Mooslim, all part of the hate America crowd who must die, right?

Here’s my interpretation of Beck’s new book cover:


@SanFranLefty: I dunno. I don’t think so. Lemurs have really outsized eyes. I think this creature looks too intelligent to be used to parody Beck. I am swapping in a baboon.

FlyingChainSaw: How about a cover with that adorable Crashing Squirrel from Banff?

@chicago bureau: He’s been really overexposed. I was on an electronics hobbyist site and he showed up in a picture of circuit board. And I want to keep the My Poo I Fling header.

@SanFranLefty: The experts over at The Edge of the American West have determined that it is a denuded East German uniform.


@FlyingChainSaw: Yes, the baboon is much better, brilliant in fact. I believe baboons are much more aggressive than monkeys (or maybe they’re just fonder of kabuki shows of rage), so between that and their looking stupider than monkeys, much more like Glenn Beck.

@lynnlightfoot: Yes, they are face-biting psychopaths. I like the new title better, too. Rhymes with ‘Of Thee I Sing’ to capture the pscyhopatriotic aspect of Beck television persona.

That blurb is hilarious – it describes the typical Beck fan perfectly. Maybe the publisher farmed the blurb writing out to a NYC freelancer, who figured it would be OK to sneak some snark in…

@FlyingChainSaw: Kind of looks more like a snow monkey of Japan than a baboon. Still too cute to insult by comparing to Beck. Love your new title, too.

@SanFranLefty: It’s possible. I selected this image because the droopy right eye almost perfectly matched the image of fuckface on the real book cover.

@SanFranLefty: I’m not so sure, but then most of the time I spent observing our colony of snow monkeys in college I was pretty much baked.

Lemurs, aka perezozo, are mangy, with matted hair parted in the middle almost like dreadlocks. I have a pic of one I saw in Costa Rica that I’ll have to dig up. It takes them a day to come down out of a tree, so it was quite the catch!

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