https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm_adM-14K4

Louie Gohmert (R-NSFW) takes issue against hate-crimes legislation because “sexual orientation” is too vague:

If you’re oriented toward animals, bestiality, then, you know, that’s not something that can be used, held against you or any bias be held against you for that. Which means you’d have to strike any laws against bestiality, if you’re oriented toward corpses, toward children, you know, there are all kinds of perversions.

Whew. Is it hot in here? We may have to revive Stinque After Dark just to run excerpts from the Congressional Record.

Rep. Louie Gohmert: Hate crimes bill will lead to Nazism, legalization of necrophilia, pedophilia, and bestiality [Think Progress]

Surveillance. You hear a loud noise outside your livingroom window, which turns out to be John Elway complaining that he stepped in dog shit.

Elicitation. John Elway asks you to hold his camera while he wipes the dog shit from his shoes.

Tests of Security. While you’re admiring his camera, John Elway wipes some dog shit onto your shoes.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phtG16FMK68

Shepard Smith to GOP Senator John Barrasso: “We the people are the ones who are getting the shaft here… Every vote against a public option is a vote for the insurance companies.”

We’re not sure what Shep has on Rupert, but it must be good. And Shep wisely asks merely for the opportunity to fuck with the heads of Fox News viewers, unlike fellow media wage slaves who want it all up front.

Fox’s Shep Smith Takes Down Fox News Talking Point On Public Option: ‘It’s Not A Government Takeover!’ [Think Progress]

Hobbled by ethics problems stress fractures in both feet, ass-wagging sensation Tom DeLay is withdrawing from Dancing with the Stars. And since everyone’s been nice to us, we’re withdrawing our threat to post the close-up shot from his first appearance, pixelated here to protect your vision.

However, we didn’t promise not to mess with your head, so we’ll leave you with Tom’s advice for healing what ails ya: “I’ve got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them.”

On a day when Glenn Beck has lost another 19 advertisers, a leading dispenser of high-fructose corn syrup is under attack from the other direction for being too fabulous:

A group that advocates “traditional family values” claims it has the signatures of 500,000 people who have pledged to boycott Pepsi over what is says are the company’s activities promoting gay rights.

The American Family Association, which boasts “2.5 million online supporters,” “asked PepsiCo to be neutral in the culture war and not support the homosexual agenda,” it said in a press release Tuesday. “PepsiCo refused. The company continues to give financial support to homosexual organizations.”

That would presumably include $500,000 to the Human Rights Campaign — but not Pepsi’s totally gay NASCAR sponsorship. You know what they say during pit stops: So much lube, so little time.

500,000 to boycott Pepsi over its ‘homosexual advocacy’ [Raw Story]

ORLY: Is it safe?

PATIENT: You’re talking to me?

ORLY: Is it safe?

PATIENT: Is what safe?

ORLY: Is it safe?

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Monty Python’s Flying Circus debuted October 5, 1969. And we’ve blown another anniversary.

Pythonline