Ladies & Gentlemen, Tom DeLay’s Ass

You're so very welcome!

We’re not sure what we did to deserve Dancing With The Stars clips today, but since we couldn’t avoid them, we’re not letting your eyes go unseared.


They showed the opening sequence on CNN this morning. I did, in fact, have to avert my eyes. The nation does not deserve this sort of abuse.

Please. Now you expect me to sleep?

They do the classic character-actor-star in a musical who can’t dance but has to be in a number: make the bint do all the work while he walks about in time with the music and goes “Oompah!” from time to time. Full disclosure: I did not watch all of it.

Everyone has to be nice to me, or I’ll post the close-up.

Well, fuck — Comedy Central HD added a Left Coast feed. Which means I have to wait until 11 again for the Daily Show NewsHour. Everything’s ruined.

Republicans appear on my screens only by mistake.

@nojo: Uh, you are a brilliant man, as well as a handsome one. How’s that? Please don’t hurt us anymore.

@Promnight: OMFG, he’s totally wearing Depends.
But I don’t want nojo to make good on his threat of showing the close up.

@SanFranLefty: I am sorry, SFL, for getting testy, and also for any hint of criticizing Baked, she is great for exactly all that she is.

But yeah, Delay is showing diaper lines.

@nojo: If you do, I will find a way to destroy you. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It’s not remotely within the bounds of television that is safe to show to children. Or adults. Or carbon-based life forms. It is Satan, the essence. That ass, clad in brown cloth, portends the end of time. It is the end of time.

@SanFranLefty: I ran it close-up on a 30″ monitor and the Depends is full. I’ll report later.

I don’t want to go the eye-bleach route. It’s gonna take a lot of porn to get that image out.

First I’d like to second Missy Cyn’s remarks about nojo. He is indeed brilliant and handsome and very good to us.

Second, let’s all just pause for a moment to think of how many people were involved in this and how much time and effort they put into making him look good. And this is what they came up with.

I suspect that the Depends look might be being caused by some ‘slimming’ foundation garment not fitting correctly.

But I think it does put his ‘political’ carrer in perspective: while leading the house what he really wanted to do was shake his fat ass on tv. And also: how much did they pay him?

This is what happens from too much exposure to pesticides in your youth.

“Show me your paso doble!”, I said. Then, gawd help us all, he did.

for me it was more the polyester than the ass.
no ass looks good in polyester but when you start with Tommys wrinkled shriveled ass and THEN add polyester it was a national embarrassment.

@Capt Howdy: For me it was the decision to have him shake that wrinkled shriveled ass, avec polyester, to fucking disco.

It’s only fitting, however. The Republicans’ idea of public fun is frozen in amber from the pre-Reagan era. Private fun, as well as that involving troop movements, is a different matter.

one thing seems clear. if anyone anywhere was worried about the Hammer getting back into politics I think that worry is over.

@Capt Howdy: What, the “Hammer time” hook was too obvious for the producers, or too good? After all, parachute pants are a surefire way to cover up adult diapers, amirite?

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