We’re gonna have to pay royalties to the Daily News if we keep this up…

But hey, it’s one of those days. Michele Bachmann wants to kill off Social Security and Medicare. Everybody already in the system can rest assured that Republicans won’t lose their votes cut off their funding, but everybody else can just suck it:

Basically what we have to do is wean everybody else off. And wean everybody off because we have to take those unfunded net liabilities off our bank sheet, we can’t do it. So we just have to be straight with people. So basically, whoever our nominee is, is going to have to have a Glenn Beck chalkboard and explain to everybody this is the way it is.

Now that’s what we like to hear: Republicans straight-talking themselves into oblivion. And that’s why polls predicting the fall elections are meaningless, because folks, they’re just getting started. You won’t know crazy talk until at least late summer.

Bachmann’s Plan: To Deal With Debt, We Must ‘Wean Everybody’ Off Social Security, Medicare [ThinkProgress]

[ Flash video not available. ]

Speaking to “Russia Today”, a state-owned channel, Orly Taitz explains why Barack Obama is unqualified to be President of the United States of Amer—

Hold on…

It appears the Stinque Control Room patched in the wrong feed. This is actually the Miss Russian Night pageant, “an event filled with exciting dancing, champagne, celebrities and sex,” featuring “the most erotic girl of 2009.” Stinque regrets the error.

Orly Taitz Brings Birtherism To Russian TV [TPM]

Fearful that their ex-half-governor is grabbing all the attention, Alaska’s Legislative Council steps in with a surefire means to share the limelight:

The Legislative Council has decided to push ahead with the state paying for a public relations effort to curb the Endangered Species Act and the listing of polar bears, despite lawmakers saying it could create a black eye for Alaska…

Senate Majority Leader Johnny Ellis said it could end up giving Alaska a black eye nationally.

“We should be very mindful there’s great potential for PR damage that could come from this if we let politicians do the science instead of scientists do the science,” the Anchorage Democrat said.

We might recommend they save the $1.5 million they’re planning to spend, because just mentioning it is getting all the publicity they could want.

Council OKs state campaign against polar bear protections [ADN, via TPM]

So this Retard’s talking to another Retard on Retard News Sunday, about a Retard who called a bunch of other folks Retards at a private meeting that some Retard leaked to the Retard Street Journal. Seems the Retard’s upset that the other Retard used a word that denigrates her special-needs child, whose special needs apparently don’t include staying at home instead of riding the Retard’s shortbus so she can wave him around at other Retards while signing her Retard book.

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We were deeply suspicious when the rumors of Talibunny’s cribnote palmistry broke out last night, especially when the evidence on hand revealed at best a suspiciously demonic symbol.

But with AP photos coming out this morning, HuffPo has the proof: Not from the Q&A session, but Sarah Palin’s Teabagger speech that preceded it.

Energy

Budget Cuts

Tax

Lift American Spirits

Nice touch crossing out “budget”. That really is how her mind works.

So we guess we should take back the nasty things we said about HuffPo and ThinkProgress jumping to wish-fulfilling conclusions. Hey, we also gave Balloon Dad the benefit of the doubt until the evidence was irrefutable. We’re fools for fact-checking.

Palin’s Tea Party Crib Notes [HuffPo]

Title: “I Am Ozzy”

Authors: Ozzy Osbourne and Chris Ayres

Rank: 19

Blurb: “People ask me how come I’m still alive, and I don’t know what to say.”

Review: “How could Ozzy write a book? He’s dyslexic and doesn’t read. Well, how can he write songs if he’s musically illiterate and doesn’t play an instrument?”

Customers Also Bought: “Capitalism and Freedom,” by Milton Friedman

Footnote: What? He doesn’t narrate the audiobook version?

I Am Ozzy [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

[Sunday update: We were wrong, they were right.]

OMG!!!!1! Did we miss the most awesome historic moment of Talibunny’s Teabagger speech?

“Sarah Palin Caught Reading Her Speech Off Her Hand!” screams Oliver Willis!

“She then seemed to forget her next talking point and glanced down at her left hand, as if there were notes she had scribbled down,” raves ThinkProgress!

Well, let’s have a look…

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