Cal Thomas, a “conservative columnist,” and Bob Beckel, a “liberal Democratic strategist,” debate for USA Today whether “our noisy democracy can handle the right-leaning Fox.” Let’s listen in!

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Fox cancels 24 after eight seasons. Dave Barry weeps. Say what you want about torture porn, but Season 5 — when ex-President Allstate gets killed in the first ten minutes, and Drunken First Lady tries to uncover hubby’s conspiracy — remains totally over-the-top awesome. [NYT]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajT9IgL7SG8

Poor Scott Ashjian. All he wanted to do was challenge Harry Reid as the “Tea Party of Nevada” candidate. But the teabaggers disowned him — technically, claimed they never owned him in the first place — and now the Clark County district attorney’s office wants him to own up:

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While cable-news audiences only saw Sarah Palin at John McCain’s campaign rally Friday, we intercepted the satellite feed to bring you these additional speakers.

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The Colbert Report scores! No, wait — they’re on vacation this week. So hats off to the Onion for another outstanding — hold on, not them either.

Well, somebody gets credit, because a video as awesome as this couldn’t possibly be real:

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Beware Obama’s Emergency Health Army! “According to Section 5210 of HR 3590, titled ‘Establishing a Ready Reserve Corps,’ the force must be ready for ‘involuntary calls to active duty during national emergencies and public health crises.'” [WND]

This has been around a couple weeks, but what the heck — it’s Friday, and we’ve lost track of who’s threatening whom. If you’re at work, we recommend you crank up your audio so everyone around you can hear it clearly. You’re welcome.