God’s honest truth: When we first saw this Army poster – yes, it’s real – we thought the story would be about using kitties for improvised explosives.

And the second thing we thought was highly inappropriate.

Anyway, once you’re done giggling – really, it’s okay, how can you not? – here’s the sobering background:

The Army is redoubling its search for anyone who might have been bitten by a wild animal in Iraq or Afghanistan following the Aug. 31 death of a soldier from rabies, the service’s public health command stated Wednesday…

Spc. Kevin Shumaker, 24, became the first soldier to die from rabies since 1967 after he was bitten by a stray dog in Afghanistan.

Even worse: Shumaker actually received thee of six shots. But the final three had expired.

So yes, this is very serious business, and shame on you for thinking otherwise.

But still.

Army seeking troops bitten by stray animals following rabies death [Stars and Stripes, via Wired]

“Former Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina may have not have been able to run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination after his 2009 cheating scandal, but he will at least get to talk about the campaign on national television — as a paid contributor on Fox News.” [NYT]

“Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.” —Phil Mitsch, New Jersey state senate candidate, tweeting on September 2.

“That’s a great tip… That shows the utmost respect for women… What I was trying to say to men was, ‘Men, look, if you got to go out and play around and you can’t be honest with a woman and respect her, then you’re better off just doing pay, play, and get the ‘f’ away.'” —Phil Mitsch, Wednesday.

“I am definitely not apologizing for those two tweets at all. They were relationship tips. ‘Stud in the bedroom’ and ‘whore in the bedroom,’ those are timeworn adages.” —Phil Mitsch, Thursday morning.

“I tweeted my version as a useful piece of advice to both men and women in order to increase their odds for having healthy, successful and long-term relationships. I never meant this tip to offend anyone. I have the utmost respect for all women, and, win or lose, this quote won’t be used again by me in any form.” —Phil Mitsch, apologizing Thursday night.

N.J. candidate apologizes for sex-advice tweets [Philadelphia Inquirer, via TPM]

“Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer skewers President Barack Obama in a new book, saying the president was ‘patronizing’ and ‘condescending’ when she met him at the White House last summer… [She] also says the president ‘lectured me’”. [Politico]

When last we left Harold Camping — well, before the stroke — he had rescheduled Armageddon for October 21, because, y’know, eschatological math is hard.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it. Sort of.

The Oakland minister’s latest prediction of the end of the world — which he’s set for Friday — is couched among words like “probably” and “maybe,” a far cry from the carved-in-stone certitude he projected onto his infamous May 21 forecast.

“I do believe we’re getting very near the very end,” Camping, 90, said during a podcast recorded earlier this month and posted on his Family Radio website. “Oct. 21, that’s coming very shortly, that looks like it will be, at this point, it will be the final end of everything.”

Anyway, if you have nothing better to do on your latest Last Day on Earth, you can always put Gir on infinite loop.

Harold Camping, rapture prophet, hedges new bet [SF Chronicle]

Our guest columnist reminds us why we’re keeping our distance.

The game is up: we see through the pyramid schemes of the temples of cultural elitism controlled by the 1%. No longer will we, the artists of the 99%, allow ourselves to be tricked into accepting a corrupt hierarchical system based on false scarcity and propaganda concerning absurd elevation of one individual genius over another human being for the monetary gain of the elitest of elite. For the past decade and more, artists and art lovers have been the victims of the intense commercialization and co-optation or art. We recognize that art is for everyone, across all classes and cultures and communities. We believe that the Occupy Wall Street Movement will awaken a consciousness that art can bring people together rather than divide them apart as the art world does in our current time…

Read more »

What’s this?

Militia supporter Darren Wesley Huff, of Dallas, Ga., stands by his pick-up truck during a lunch break Tuesday while being tried on federal gun charges. Huff allegedly traveled in April 2010 to the Monroe County Courthouse with a handgun and an AK-47 to serve a “citizens’ arrest warrant” on local judges and law officers. The Greek inscription means “come and take them,” reportedly spoken by the Spartans in response to a demand to surrender their weapons at the Battle of Thermopylae.

If you’re not up on your Ancient Greek History, don’t worry — neither is Mr. Huff. We’ll bet he doesn’t know shit about Thermopylae, but can recite the movie “300” start to finish.

Whereas the other end of the Protest Spectrum is all over “V for Vendetta”, since we’re equally confident that they don’t know shit about Guy Fawkes.

What is it with Angry People and comic-book movies these days? Why don’t they stick to the Classics, like Star Trek and Star Wars?

Man accused of courthouse takeover goes on trial [Knoxville News Sentinel, via jwmcsame]